[Photos: WENN and Bauer Griffin]
Something about the picture of Joan Smalls makes her look like a barbie – the pose, the smile, the tilted head…She looks like she belongs in a pink box. Life in Plastic – It’s fantastic!
Oh my gosh, you are so right. Now that I have seen it, I can’t unsee it! If we can undress her anywhere, does that mean we can take that god awful dress off and burn it?
Also, meeting of the Jessicas! Why am I never invited to those things?
MAYBE YOU JUST NEVER SHOW UP. Think about it.
This is EXACTLY what I came to say! 100% Barbie. And Rosie H-W now reminds me of a ballerina in a music box. And the rest of the clothes are hideous, but it was all worth it for the Georgia O’Keeffe comment.
I have a number of thoughts:
1- Ana Beatriz Barros has the most frightening eye makeup I’ve ever seen
2- Petra remains unrecognizable
3- Heidi doesn’t look good, but at least she isn’t desperately naked
3- So many of these dresses would be absolutely fine if not for the obligatory sheer. Stop the madness!
Four comes after three. I can count, I swear. I just can’t self-edit before hitting “submit”.
The sheer must die.
Eva Herzigova looks smashing.
Milla Jovovich again looks mysteriously different in the face. Thoughts on this anyone?
Botox went terribly wrong? The thought of her amazing face looking as it does at these Cannes is upsetting me more than Joan Small’s dress. And that says a lot.
Personally, I think Milla’s look is so different because she’s got that ridiculous “heidi” hair going on. If her bangs were pulled off her face, she’d look more like herself.
So many pretty ladies. So many ridiculous dresses.
Anyone else feel like we’re about one season away from the final “fashion” show in Robert Altman’s “Pret-a-Porter”? TMI, indeed.
I covet that pink dress something fierce.
I hope you’re talking about Irina’s dress and not the swim coverup earlier in the slideshow…
Psssst, Joan Smalls! No need to wear mosquito netting around your legs – they make something called insect repellant now.
Models today are so inferior to the 90s supermodels – we all knew who Cindy, Claudia, Linda, Christy and Naomi were. They weren’t just beautiful – they had charisma and individual personalities. Now I’m like “Joan WHO?”, “Irina WHAT”? They’re all pretty but they have zero charisma and I can barely tell one from another. Thank god for Kate Moss, still flying the flag for models with attitude!
Damn, this has been a bumper year for fug. And it’s only May!
Bad illusion netting, nasty colored lace, mullet skirts, thigh windows, ab windows, ass windows, Rorschach prints, pubic motif placement….it’s a veritable catechism of fug.
Maybe there needs to be an Illusion Netting Fug-Off (not Fug Madness, because it is too limiting) towards the end of the year. Which is THE WORST?
I believe Liberty Ross’s combo was previously worn by Zoe Saldana, not Bosworth (who wore the not-a-complete-’dress’ version, and wore it, as she typically does, the way the clothes in my closet are “worn” by their hangers).
While I’m not nuts about Rosie H-W, she looked darn good in every garment (3?) she wore that night.
Whatever we may say about Miss Kloss’s styling, she seems to be the modeling world’s own Jennifer Lawrence … high-spirited, genuine, and charming (and as good at her job, too).
Saldana wore it with a pink top (in the vein of the colour Bosworth had on) for a star trek premiere a few months ago I think
Why do so many of them look grimy and unkempt? Surely Irina Shayk can’t be hogging the only hairbrush in Cannes!
All the models’ super-revealing dresses are so BORING.
while lace over nude may be boring and over, it’s still better than those pantyhose commercial dresses that went before it. yes, all those models are modeling pantyhose. I can’t hear you ‘lalalala’
While there were redeeming qualities to most of these (that dark teal shade, the style of the red lace dress, the pattern on the top of the shower-curtain dress), there would have been so much more improvement MINUS THE SHEER.
Well, some of the shoes looked good…
Vandalfan! You’re back, hurrah! I’ve missed your comments.
I’m blushing! I got behind about 9 pages. Took my every decade vacation; saw my sister get her Doctorate degree from SIU.
Way to go supporting your sister, vf. I’m glad you’re back too – I always look out for your comments.
My first thought seeing Liberty Ross’ dress: “K. Stew. would totally wear this look.” doh!! Maybe not the reaction she was hoping for?
Or maybe EXACTLY what she was looking for- gotta keep her name out there somehow.
There’s a part of me that thinks “well…if I had THAT body, I’d probably skimp out on my clothing too…” But then I think. “No.”
Yeah. I think I can say it without being immodest now, ’cause I don’t have it anymore, but I had a fantastic body in my twenties. And I would have felt far too naked in almost all of these.
Models get used to it, you know, they’re naked around other people, and wearing bizarre things that expose them a lot, all the time when they’re at work. But wouldn’t you kind of think… they’d leave work, at work?
Karlie Kloss IS Taylor Swift in “Not Without My Navel: Taylor Swift: From America’s Sweetheart to Vegas Cocktail Hostess: A Love Story” only on Lifetime.
I was also thinking she was looking particularly Swiftian here! I kind of wish Taylor Swift would show up someplace dressed like that.
I was going to ask when Kloss became a sexy Swift. Those bangs make everyone Swifty, I should avoid them.
Irina Shayk looks very good. Herzigova, fine, if a little heavy on the icing. Huntington-Whitely, also fine – could’ve been fab with an interesting shoe.
For the rest, I have only this to say:
best .gif evar.
it is truly amazing how hair color can change someone’s look so much. i mean, petra looks COMPLETELY different with blonde hair. did she have some work done? i can not understand why, if she did, but if not then that’s some amazing hairstyling that can completely change your face.
“Skirt by Georgia O’Keeffe” might be the best line EVER!
I actually really liked Der Klum here.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Joan Small’s outfit ha! Poor Joan.
“Skirt by Georgia O’Keeffe” *snort*
WHY does Petra look so different?
I feel like most of these dresses were so close – a little more fabric, or more lining, or different lining, i.e. not nude, and they would have been winners.
LOVE Angela Lindvall’s & Irina Shayk’s dresses! And COVET Heidi Klum’s SHOES!
Izabel Goulart’s was so, so close to being really fabulous dress. The color and shape are so good.
Remember, when you forget a lining you don’t just hurt yourself, you hurt society.
I miss the mystery of clothes. And the shower curtain dress? At least have something interesting going on like…bubbles floating out or something.