Fugless


It may tell you a lot about me that the only way I can remember how to spell Shia LaBeouf’s name is to think of him as Shia LaBeowulf, and then remove a few letters.

However, I this this actually IS Shia LaBeowulf. IMDb suggests this is for a movie — Lars Von Trier’s The Nymphomaniac, with apparent emphasis on maniac — but it’s still creepy, doubly so because from the neck down it’s great and from the neck up it’s like a James Franco prank.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (45):

  1. Jane
    0

    SHIA LA BEOWULF. THAT IS BRILLIANT. I will never misspell his name again.

  2. Sandra
    0

    The headsuit is unfortunate. The actual suit is straight-up fab. I might swap out the white shirt for French blue, on the general principle that everyone does look better in that shade, but this is very good indeed. Maybe he could shampoo, condition, and comb the hair and tie it back? I’m not opposed to long hair (‘specially those curls!) on men, but I do like it neat.

  3. qwertygirl
    0

    Shia LeWerewulf is what he looks like here. Please let him not decide this is the look for him, because ugh.

  4. jellybean
    0

    ack my eyes – it’s the dreaded scroll-up, where you just don’t get the option to get gently lulled into the false sense of security!

  5. Michelle
    0

    God he looks terrible. The suit is fantastic though, gotta give props where you can. Have you read interviews about the movie, where he straight-up brags about having actual sex in it? I’m sorry, that is way too skeezy for me. Good luck, Shia LeBeowulf. You should have quit at Louis Stevens.

    http://lettersfromboston.com

    • Kara
      0

      I did read that! Part of me wants to see the movie out of sheer curiosity, but part of me is skeeved.

      He looks terrific from the neck down, but his hair is really not the business. He actually looks like he has really nice hair, but it maybe needs a comb and some product.

    • Tana
      0

      No! That would have meant he wouldn’t have played Stanley Yelnats in “Holes” and that would have been a shame.

      As for the authentic sex scenes, he’s got good company with Chloe Sevigny, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, Mickey Rourke, etc.

  6. regina
    0

    Haha! I first thought: damn, Sébastien Tellier looks good.

  7. val.
    0

    Is he turning into Joaquin Phoenix?

  8. Emma
    0

    I’m Shia Le Beouf and my hair stylist is dangerous. He scares me. And I’m only going to get my hair styled now when I’m terrified.

    • openroses
      0

      I just about peed myself laughing at this comment. Has there ever been an actor that is more of a douche?

      • wildviolette
        0

        He was sulking around my neighborhood here in Chicago a few weeks back, shooting a movie and then hanging out in local bars at night. He was a HUGE douche and pretty much looked like a homeless dude.

  9. Chrisa Hickey
    0

    I know the government has done away with the terror threat alert color coded system, but this picture of Shia seems to warrant the dude skankiness color coded alert system you used to use for Jared Leto.

  10. Fifi
    0

    I guess I’m the only one who loves a man with a beard. Mmm… Scruffy goodness.

    • Mahastee
      0

      Oh I’m with you, I have never found him as attractive as I do right now.

    • jean
      0

      Nope Fifi, I’m with you on this one. Just so long as he doesn’t take good work from Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Shia is allowed to look hot in a beard and surprisingly well managed hair. Seriously, long curly hair isn’t easy, but his looks groomed and healthy.

  11. deee
    0

    I’m getting an Adrien Brody vibe. Slightly swarmy and can wear the hell out of a good suit.

    • Other Emily
      0

      Yeah, I have a very unreasonable obsession with Adrien Brody, and I have to say that Shia is indeed giving me the same squicky-yet-yummy vibe. Plus, I like Shia, although I know I’m in the minority. I think he’s a good actor who has made really bad choices. I don’t think this Nymphomaniac thing is going to fix that, but I guess he’s trying to do different/weird things to distance himself from Transformers.

  12. Heironyms.
    0

    Oh, now. He looks a lot more groomed than Joaquin Phoenix ever did during that phase. And at least LaBeowulf’s not rapping. Yet.

    (Although, come to think of it, “LaBeowulf” would actually make a pretty kick-ass rapper name.)

  13. Jen
    0

    He just grosses me out in general. He seems like a weird, creepy person. I remember reading something strange about him and his mom (found it – “Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She’s an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.” – in an interview with Playboy)… and apparently he was drunk and aggressive all the time on the set of Lawless (http://perezhilton.com/2012-08-22-shia-labeouf-mia-wasikowska-method-acting-drunk-drinking-alcohol-booze-film-movie). He seems like one of those arrogant actor types who thinks any gross behavior is justified by his “craft.”

  14. Karen
    0

    If that grooming choice is for The Nymphomaniac, then the fact that he has ACTUAL SEX with his co-stars in it is now even creepier than when I first learned about it.

  15. TonyG
    0

    He looks like he was going for a “young Tevye” look. Maybe he is starring in an upcoming revival of Fiddler on the Roof.

  16. Gwen Robinson
    0

    He does have kind of a good body, though… he’s nekkid in a Sigur Ros vide which you can easily find on youtube. That doesn’t change the fact that he needs to tame the hair somehow.

  17. Rebekah
    0

    This is… alarming…

    But Heather! You have saved me from perpetually misspelling his name with this Beowulf brilliance! From a totally nerdy English major, thank you.

  18. Shiitake
    0

    Woman relelant.

    Has Shia gone Orthodox and has his pe’ot behind his ears?

  19. Erica
    0

    You know, maybe in a couple of decades he could pull off this look. But for now, he’s going to have to pick the beard or the hair–not both.

  20. witjunkie
    0

    To me, he looks so very, very French.

  21. Wendy
    0

    As an English major, I love you guys for this.

  22. Alaurable
    0

    Hmm I’ve always found him a bit… sweaty? But he’s actually doing it for me with the hair and beard. I think it gets rid of that soft bloaty face that some women love (see Dicaprio, Leonardo) and roughens him up a bit – I approve (though still suspect he might smell bad).

  23. Rachael
    0

    I need someone to call my doctor because I don’t hate this. It actually makes me hate his face less that usual. I’m worried about myself.

  24. Carrie
    0

    My husband refuses to call him anything but “Shay LeDouche.” I definitely need to introduce him to “Shia LaBeowulf.”

  25. Corriner
    0

    I am all kinds of in love with that tie… but there is definitely a distinct ‘eau de homeless’ aspect about everything above-shoulders.

  26. Qalice
    0

    LeBeowulf! That is hilarious! But seriously, you could just learn some French. Le beouf just means (incredibly) “the beef.” I am making no comment on the actor.

    • Alex
      0

      Yeah…no.

      Beef is “boeuf” in French.

      Trying to remember it that way will therefore only lead to further confusion: “is it EXACTLY like the French for beef, or are the ‘o’ and ‘e’ switched round? GAH”

      (….followed by more self-gah-ing).

      So…
      Perhaps it is you, dear Qalice, who ought to learn some French?

  27. Veronica
    0

    I can’t look at him looking like this without Rob Cantour’s “Actual Cannibal: Shia Lebouf” going through my head.

  28. vandalfan
    0

    The whole look would be perfected with addition of one simple brown paper sack. Over his noggin.

  29. Sajorina
    0

    The suit is great and it fits him perfectly, but I have a problem with his head and all that hair on it! Yuck!

  30. Lydia
    0

    The Whitney Port Singles reference totally put me into a grunge state of mind. I totally thought this was Eddie Vedder.

  31. Domino
    0

    Now, that is a womb broom!

  32. Celia
    0

    I am finally catching up on all the GFY I missed on vacation, so I know I’m late to this, but that is the BEST way to remember how to spell a name. Seriously.