Well. How to put this…. These two have certainly looked better.

Josh Duhamel looks like he was chipped off the underside of one of Ashton Kutcher’s feet after a three-day tequila fest, and Fergie just seems… off. Not to be all Womb Whisperer again, but I’m totally going to be all Womb Whisperer again: I remember correctly guessing Nina Garcia’s second pregnancy just from watching her judge an episode of Project Runway in which it looked like she was trying very hard not to vomit all over everyone’s shoes, and looking back, it turns out she would’ve indeed been in her first trimester. And Fergie has a similar expression on her face (though perhaps her husband also smells like stale tequila and Kutcher toe jam), and you’ll note her shoes are a) vomit-proof patent leather, and b) a lot more sensible than usual. A lot. Do with that what you will.

I know, I’m sorry, Fergie. I always feel weird speculating, because that’s so personal. But GFY sits at the intersection of fashion and the rumor mill, and often one informs the other, so we’re just kind of covering our bases — perhaps sloppily and with a lot of tangents and protruberant lumpy bits, sure, but that’s apt because it echoes the way that dress is covering your body. It’s as if the thing wants to be so wacky that we can’t bring ourselves to look anywhere near the Business Center, and yet, we can’t look anywhere BUT there, because I swear this thing is crinkling like she just got punched in the G-spot. Ow. In conclusion, I hope whatever she wants to be happening with her womb is happening safely and with a minimum of puke, and that either way, she puts down the hip visors next time and walks away.

[Photos: WENN]


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Comments (42):

  1. Jill

    Pregnant or not, that dress can’t be comfortable. They dressed like they’re going to 2 separate functions; they really should compare notes when getting ready to go out.

  2. :paula

    I leapt to the exact same conclusion as you guys, based on the boobage alone.

  3. Caroleena Stantonova

    Barbarella on acid.

  4. vandalfan

    They both look “rode hard and put away wet”, and they left the saddle on her.

  5. Claire

    Pregnant? So she’s NOT a tranny?

  6. amys

    My hair looks about like hers today because I went to bed with it wet. Josh looks like he’s fixin run to Starbucks and Fergs just got home from a 36 hour bender at her local biker bar. Her spray tan? The hell?

    • stk

      It really does look like she wore socks during her spray tan. Is there a preggo excuse for that??!

  7. Miranda

    Okay, I admit a lot of the business going on directly over her good china is weird, but in terms of the overall shape, I…gulp…like it. I think her bod looks pretty excellent. (Probably it helps that she’s wearing reasonable shoes for once.)

    I don’t know what the hell is going on with him, though.

  8. The Other Molly

    He used to be really cute until he started making time with Her Skankiness.

  9. Emily

    Maybe they both had some bad sushi and are trying to recover, but didn’t want to miss the event? I dunno. They don’t look good, but they BOTH don’t look good. She does look pale and barfy like I did through both of my pregnancies, though, and my hair looked flat and yucky like that when I was having a girl. So, if it’s that, Mazel Tov! It’s a girl!

    • Eliza Bennett

      Hahaha, that’s a perfect description–joint food poisoning. I can just imagine them holding each other over the toilet and saying, “We promised we’d go!”
      “But, honey, I don’t feel so good…”
      “I’ll put on a crazeballs dress and airdry my hair through the limo sunroof, no one will look at you. Or smell you.”
      “You mean smell us.”

      • Billie

        Ha! Or, she is prego, and has a tendancy to puke ON him, which is why he’s wearing those god awful shoes. Maybe she puked in the car on the way over and they are both gasping for fresh air.

  10. Ladyblahblah

    I have the same reaction to Fergie as I did to Rachel Zoe in terms of maternity: What?!?Pregnant? I thought she was 48.

  11. Amy

    Do I see a puffy ankle?

  12. Sarie

    They look like they smell bad.

  13. Tricia

    What I don’t get is, if you are in your first trimester and feel that oogy, why don’t you just STAY HOME? Clearly she either wants people to be talking about her uterus, or she just has no sense.

  14. Alle Malice

    I feel really weird when I see a celebrity who is usually all about the hair extensions sans said extensions. I’m always like “Huh,” closely followed by “REALLY?”

    Also, again: WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH HER EYEBROWS? I worked a similar look at 13 when I discovered eyebrow pencil, but Fergie! You;re a grown woman! There’s no reason to have stenciled mahogany eyebrows!

  15. Anne B

    Did Tad Hamilton sleep in someone’s car last night?

  16. roser

    They look miserable and unwashed. Yikes.

  17. TaraMisu

    She really *does* look pukey….. hmmmmmmmmm.
    He looks unwashed.

  18. nicola

    has to be preggo – she is sporting the same “easy, greasy Cover Girl” look that I’ve had the past few months…

  19. nicola

    of course, I didn’t wear that dress and dig myself into a deeper hole…

  20. Jessica

    Both of them seem to have the expression of “our marriage is on the rocks, and we’ll be sending out the divorce news after the new year”…

  21. melanie

    “These two have certainly looked better.”

    Are you sure Fergie has looked better?

  22. GFY Heather

    I get what you’re saying, and yet still: YES.

  23. witjunkie

    She is certainly pale, but I have to say – it’s kind of nice to see her FACE. Without a pound of slap and a bunch of it scrinched back into her topknot. She looks normal and relaxed and I think pretty, too.

    • Gretchen

      I can’t tell whether she’s “naturally” pale, i.e. that we’re seeing her natural skin tone, or if she is made up to look pale. Something about her makeup (or, perhaps, lack thereof) makes her look like she’s had a bout of the flu. Ick. I feel like puking just looking at how wan and sick she looks.

  24. Blanche

    Why didn’t I recognize before that if you put bleached blonde hair on Fergie, she looks like every other Hollywood starlet? All the guys had that all figured out.

    I would just like to complain that when I was pregnant and working at the library, I got (mild) flack for wearing long-sleeved, boatneck shirts that skimmed over my belly, rather than pastel-print tents, as was apparently the polite thing to do in the 1960s, according to my older coworkers. If indeed Fergie is embarazada, then I think this photo should be distributed to older coworkers everywhere for reference.

  25. andrea

    I think Heather’s onto something; in that picture of her the other day, with the bad dress alteration–I thought she looked grumpy and unhappy, but that with the new big boobs would seem to indicate pregnant and in the first trimester.

    Oh, and she’s not 48. She’s 36.

  26. jenny

    I think she actually looks really great, for her! (I know, backhanded, sorry Fergs.) Make up much better than usual? And not at all pregnant.

  27. Cecily

    Not that either of them interest me in the slightest, it will be interesting to see if you’re right. She is either very hungover or preggers. He is very hungover.

  28. Mahastee

    They look unhappy &and bored (I may be way off- for all know they look enthusiastic and cheerful in the other photos from this event).

    It’s like they couldn’t be bothered so they’ve gone in costume as themselves or something. Him with the precisely untidy cool, her with the studded leather mini. It’s beyond boring.

  29. Callie

    They look like they’re in the middle of a really bad argument that they stopped just the second the car door opened and they’re going to start again just the second they’re inside. I identify, because I’m pretty sure the boyfriend and I were wearing similar expressions at a party this evening.

    We weren’t wearing similar clothes though, being as he bathes and I don’t get my clothing from special interest stores.

  30. sam

    I know she looks pale, but her skin and hair look LOADS better than they have in past years. Which makes me think the maybe she stopped drinking so much (unlike her husband), and also that she is deffs pregnant

  31. CampCounsellor

    Never mind the possible prognancy : I can’t believe anyone – let alone a high(ish) profile celebrity like Josh Duhamel – would leave the house with shoes so badly scuffed and unpolished. Does he think he’s Thomas Jane?

  32. Rubee

    Sorry girls, but I think Fergie’s face is the prettiest I’ve ever seen her look.