Fug or Fab: Malin Akerman


fug-or-fab

“Why hello, friends!

I didn’t expect to see you standing there! I was just reading the step-and-repeat, minding my own business, and there you are! Wait, what’s that? Could you repeat that, treasured friend? You want to see the front of my dress? Oh, FINE. If you insist!”

“What do you think?! I hope it reminds you of how I played a superhero in that movie that everyone was all excited about and then didn’t see! I was a superhero in that movie, right? Oh, who cares!? Let’s talk about my dress some more!”

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Comments (84):

  1. geemee
    0

    Shiny! I think I dig it. I just wish it was straight all the way down, without that flair thing at the bottom.

  2. Shay
    0

    Shiny fishtail dress.

    Shiny.

    Fishtail.

    Dress.

    For when you positively, absolutely have to look like you’ve gutted a salmon and wore the skin for a night out.

  3. jen
    0

    I’ve seen other pictures of her…and the girl…she does have curves right? Because this dress does nothing for any of them. In fact, she kinda looks like a shiny slim jim…or Hickory Farms Summer Sausage.

    She’s far prettier than this dress.

  4. TaraMisu
    0

    @Shay LOL!

    Front view is uggghhh….. the bottom of the dress makes it look wonky and the color is all wrong. I guess this is a do-over.

  5. Halley
    0

    I love the red, love the shiny, the only thing I dont love is that thing it that bottom. It reminds me of the cargo pants I bought for my son at Old Navy two years ago that you could zip the bottoms off of to create shorts. Maybe she could zip the bottom half of this gown off and make a cocktail dress? I could get behind that.

  6. Lisa
    0

    She looks like her head is on backwards.

  7. Winona
    0

    Love the color, actually dig the cut of the dress, but it’s either her or the fabric (or both) that looks very stiff.

  8. Lily
    0

    I’d be down with this if it ended at that awkward seam (the bottom looks like it was attached as an after thought), and committed to being shiny. If you want a shiny red dress, go all in!

  9. evalym
    0

    My mother told me if I can’t say anything nice I shouldn’t say anything at all.

    Word to my mother.

  10. jocelyn
    0

    She looks like a copper mermaid who’s water just broke. Get her to the mer-obstetrician stat!

  11. ortenzia
    0

    It does look like Speedo is making a new line of eveningwear… but I bet it’s awesome in person with all the slinky-wetsuitness of it.

  12. Cecily
    0

    Can’t get the song “Little Red Corvette” out of my head, as this looks like the upholstery in one.

  13. Cassie
    0

    I don’t know…it’s not very flattering to her. She looks sort of shapeless and I know she’s not. Also, it’s just…A LOT of dress. And her hair is kinda blah.

    So, yeah, that’s a no then. She looks fine, but she could have looked so much better.

  14. M.Amanda
    0

    There are so many things good about this dress – great color, shiny, interesting cut. Alas, the “fabric” looks like plastic, like the bags that beds-in-a-bag come in. Thus it gets weird folds and bubbles (like the one that I swear looks like an inverted nipple), which kind of turns the shiny into a negative. Plus, the seam just above the fish tail kind of looks like it’s stapled rather than sewn. I think this would totally be a Fab if it were more “well-made” polished than “shiny” polished.

  15. M
    0

    The boob area and the shine of the dress are killing it for me. Her boobs look lumpy and almost squished but baggy at the same time (??) – almost like some strange minimizer/nursing bra is under the dress but the stiffness of the shiny fabric is prohibiting any smoothness in her chesticular area.

    OH! Just remembered something!!! The dress material reminds me of the super shiny jeans in vogue around 2001. You know, the kind that kids wore to raves. I think pink and silver were super popular. I might have even owned a red pair of shiny denims back then….

  16. Spider
    0

    She looks like the dress makes her *feel* fabulous, which raises its merits exponentially.

  17. Meem
    0

    Reminds me of Iron Man.

  18. Blanche
    0

    There are good descriptions above. Well done, youall.

    It is a shellacked superhero dress, which in a cruel twist makes Akerman look a lot more pedestrian than she can look. Or, she looks like she’d make a really fabulous ambassador’s wife.

    Here I am seeing too much stumpy proportions, average arms, tiny eyes and massive forehead. Word to the makeup person: It seems late in the history of makeup for cosmeticians to not yet realize that a lot of people cannot do eyeliner inside the lash line. Word to the hair dressers: Nix on gigantic pate-clearing updos for Ricci, Suvari and Akerman.

  19. kates
    0

    Dear Edna Mode,
    I love my prom dress. It’s beautiful, and you’re a genius. It’s so ME. Thanks so much (especially for leaving off the cape).
    Sincerely,
    ElastiGirl

  20. andrea
    0

    I think she looks like a can of Dr. Pepper. Which, in fact, these days are sporting images from Iron Man. And the connection comes full circle! Bam!

  21. andrea
    0

    AND, look at that second photo, where the line from a letter is emerging from the dead center of her flounce? It makes her look like a doll on a stand, or like she’s a dressmaker’s dummy.

  22. ladyfugfug
    0

    love the color and the shape of the top half, which it would have not had that weird fishtail business on it that is really unflattering to her lower half, and could stand to be less plastic looking.

  23. Kate
    0

    Eee. I’m suspicious that many of these “fug or fabs” are just an excuse to rip on an obviously fug dress – or maybe to do an “unfug it up” type session…

    This dress is no good. It’s wearing her, and the fit is so meh and NQR. The fabric seems too stiff and heavy. It’s just weird.

    The neckline is odd, like it was shaped for someone with giant bosoms they were trying to hide, and she certainly is not in that category.

    Plus the color and the shiny isn’t quite right for her either. And the bottom does look like those zip off cargo pants/shorts…

    How hard can she be to dress??? She always looks odd on the red carpet, but the woman can rock a teensy synthetic black and yellow “outfit” that looks like it’s painted on in Watchmen, so what gives?

  24. Amy
    0

    She looks like a giant lobster!

  25. Willow
    0

    I’m sorry but this dress just brings horrible memories back of a faux crocodile leather prom dress I once saw, it was so unbelievably hideous, its the same right down to the badly tacked on “fishtail”

  26. Big Noise From Winnetka
    0

    Is the bottom half of that travesty semi-sheer? Are those her legs I see?

    *BNFW shudders*

  27. BJ
    0

    this was a scroll-down for me!
    i was all, ‘damn! sleek styling! awesome color! sexy as all get loose…she’s wearing a shower curtain.’
    she lost me at her knees.
    you’re so right, blanche. girl does have a fivehead. elizabeth moss needs to be added to your list, too.
    jocelyn, i can stop saying ‘mer-obstetrician’. it makes me wonder about other mer-professions.
    also, i have ‘little red corvette’ stuck in my head.

  28. Rachael
    0

    Did you watch Craig Ferguson last night? Cause he made that joke too…”oh, I didn’t know you were there, what a surprise, I’m just standing with my bum out, nonchalantly…”
    That type of thing

  29. Jill
    0

    Please tell me there’s a spot for her on Fug Madness. According to her little archive there, this poor girl has never had a hit.

  30. Anonymous
    0

    where are her feet. she looks like she’s floating

  31. vandalfan
    0

    The dress, I like. Is it made of Fruit Roll-Ups? The knee-seam could go away, but then again, it adds some interest. What I detest is her severe, slicked back hair and Sharpie eye-liner. A manicure wouldn’t hurt, either.

  32. Willow
    0

    I used to have to Siamese Fighting Fish that looked exactly like this dress! They killed each other.

  33. Zulkey
    0

    I have to like Malin because she was on “Children’s Hospital” but am I the only person who feels like she hasn’t figured out her coloring yet? I feel like there is a perfect hair color/makeup palette out there for her and she hasn’t nailed it yet.

  34. barbarena
    0

    searching for the radio buttons on this bronzed Oldsmobile dashboard…

  35. Maria
    0

    Lovely girl, great dress… I just don’t know if they are great together. It seems like too much look for her.

  36. tigerstripes
    0

    Aaaaahhh! Mermaid! Corvette! Inverted nipple! Fruit Rollups!
    Y’all’re all up in my head!

  37. TereLiz
    0

    She looks like something Shatner/Kirk would find in a mysterious pool on an even more mysterious planet. Alien mermaid. Not a good look for anyone except perhaps Daryl Hannah.

  38. Catherine
    0

    Love the color…that’s about it.

  39. Angie
    0

    This is the funniest set of comments … I just shot some beverage out of my nose. I think the Iron Giant would have turned Rocket Girl over to see why her flames weren’t working…LIFTOFF!

  40. Kat
    0

    This dress has her in a choke hold.

  41. Karen
    0

    It looked SO PRETTY from the side. Why couldn’t you have just shown us the profile? Why did you have to ruin it?

    Sigh.

    From the front, it looks like it’s made out of lacquer. And not in a good way.

    Or maybe like she had her grandmother cover the middle with plastic slipcovers.

  42. Ann D
    0

    How cool would this have looked if it were just a sleek sheath (that’s hard to write, let alone say out loud). Fishtail and strange, unnecessary seams ruin the line and really ruin the whole point of the dress – that fabulous fabric.

  43. cs
    0

    The dress makes her lumpy in places, yet somehow manages to totally eliminates her figure. Plus, she needs a new stylist for her hair and makeup. Way too severe. She’s a pretty girl, however she never looks it on the carpet.

  44. buttercup
    0

    No. What is that fabric? Is she doing her best impersonation of a bottle of red fingernail polish? I imagine that if you must wear gowns so often, you probably crave something a little different, but I’m not sure this is the way to go about it. Did her knees accidentally get shellacked on her way out the door and she said “Oh well! I’ll buck up and attend anyway! My public needs me!” Well, Malin. I hate to break it to ya, but we didn’t need you this badly.

    It’s not flattering to her chest either.

  45. karen
    0

    i didn’t read all the comments so has anyone noted yet that this dress looks like a lobster tail?

    cuz you know. that.

  46. La Seditiosa
    0

    I like what it’s doing from the waist up, but from the waist down it’s a hot mess.

  47. Princess Pamela
    0

    I love this dress, it’s bright and shiny and has enough interesting details to take it from “nice” to WOW!

    I also think that Malin wears the dress well. It fits her beautifully and really empathizes her curves. Definitely a winner in my books.

  48. sara
    0

    NO this looks like sparkly bacon

  49. Crystal
    0

    She looks like the Go Red for Women Heart Disease ribbon.

  50. Sarah
    0

    The length makes her look like a double foot amputee, which makes the blood-red hue of the dress unfortunate.

  51. Lady Dy
    0

    Three words: Fruit roll up

  52. Panda
    0

    Sweet Enola Gay, NO. I was buying it for a second in the side shot, but in the immortal words of Sadie Shelton, “You look like a blot clot”.

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    0

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  54. laureney
    0

    I like it because it kind of makes her look like a fancy robot.

  55. Jules
    0

    I loved it until I saw the front.

  56. Fiona K
    0

    It’s a safer, a “less rotting on the hoof”, version of the infamous meat dress.

  57. marie
    0

    the neckline makes her boobs look mighty weird, but i like the skirt part

  58. Glitz
    0

    Seriously… stumpify much?

    And I agree with @Sara… sparkly bacon!!

  59. Laura
    0

    Is it just me, or is Malin looking more and more like Pam Anderson in each photo?

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    She’s too pale, she need some tan…

  61. Sara
    0

    That awkward line at the knees where it flairs out? Chop it off there, and it could be totally awesome.

  62. Jennie-Suz
    0

    She looks like she’s draped in hardened True Blood. Anna Paquin should have worn this, at least then it would APPEAR to be a marketing stint.

  63. Mirror
    0

    “really empathizes her curves.”
    Heh, at least someone understands them. They would be so lonely otherwise!

    But srsly, I think this looks way too much like a Speedo suit from the waist up and way too much like that cellophaney gift wrap poorly applied to an irregularly cylindrical present from the waist down. Meh.

  64. lc
    0

    Side view – fantabulous! Front view – how did it all go so wrong? NOTHING is right about the front!

  65. EAG46
    0

    Pretty color, and shiny is always nice. But it’s too long and she looks too skinny.

  66. Etiana
    0

    “Shiny fishtail dress.

    Shiny.

    Fishtail.

    Dress.

    For when you positively, absolutely have to look like you’ve gutted a salmon and wore the skin for a night out.”

    This first comment says it all *lol*

  67. Em
    0

    Malin, please get a stylist. You are beautiful and dressed well in every movie I’ve seen you in. But, and I say this with love, clearly you cannot pick out your own clothes.

  68. Ruby
    0

    This is a little reminiscent of a prawn cocktail (I believe you American’s refer to prawns as “shrimp”). I mean, the bottom of the dress looks like the tail of a steamed shell-fish, and also reminds me of Sebastian the crab from the Little Mermaid. Perhaps she’s working on a sequel, where she plays the offspring of Sebastian and the evil witch. Whatever it is, all this talk of shell-fish is making me hungry so please excuse me while I take my lunch break.

  69. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    All I like is the material. The fishtail is hideous, the neckline unflattering, and the overall fit non-existent. Start again and take a few accurate measurements.

  70. Anon
    0

    I hate it so much it’s inspired me to write a haiku, which I also hate.

    Is your dress melting?
    Or is it a fifth-grader’s
    Pencil case? Just NO.

    It really reminds me of the cheap, tacky material that 25c pencil cases were made of in the 90s. No. No. NO.
    Watchmen just fell down a few pegs on my favourite movie list.

  71. Kate
    0

    BACON!!!! Am I the only one seeing this? Maybe I’m just hungry, but she looks like a strip of bacon, fresh out of the pan.

    Ridiculous.

  72. Anonymous
    0

    Total Scrolldown Fug!!!! It had me until that “grommetted” mess at the bottom…

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