Fug The Show: The Voice, blind auditions #2


Well, apparently in addition to Idol, I’m going to have to watch The Voice now. But this is where I draw the line. Do your worst this summer on America’s Got Talent, Howard Stern. Feathered underpants? Nipple shields made of Duracell? LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU.

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Comments (25):

  1. Miss Tee
    0

    OMG. I’m laughing so hard. MURDER PANCAKE!!! Last night when I was watching the show I was like, “WTF, Xtina? What is with the spiky flat thing on your head???”

    Oh, murder pancake. I may write a song about you…

  2. Ms. Pants
    0

    I was hoping y’all would get on The Voice train, if only for the horrible, drag-queen parody that Xtina has become. I have to believe that the show has cost her more fans than it has gained her, as she’s such an insufferable brat. Mute is not enough.

    • Jules
      0

      AMEN, Ms. Pants! I will not watch because everything about Xtina gets on my nerves. Her clothes are awful and always way too small. She wears about 10 pounds of smack and easily has the worst hair in show business. In addition to all that, she is above and beyond obnoxious, especially to Adam Levine. It’s really too bad, because I thoroughly enjoy the other three judges but not enough to endure looking at and listening to her. It is easy to understand why Kelly Osbourne has taken every opportunity to blast her lately, as I can only begin to imagine how awful Christina was to Kelly a couple years ago.

  3. Linda
    0

    Modern day Nell Carter! – Perfect! I don’t know if I loved his black glitter robe from the Super Bowl or this red one more. Tough decision.

    • Kit
      0

      Have you not SEEN his gold one from last year, or his emerald green one? No no, the green. SO. MUCH. BETTER. :)

  4. leah
    0

    I thought for sure you would have included the shot of Cee Lo holding his fluffy white cat… just a 5-second shot of him, talking about a contestant, stroking a cat, no context. It was amazing.

    • Alice
      0

      Yes! OMG, I need a screen cap of that. It was the best thing ever.

      • Stefanie
        0

        YES! I decided Im going to just randomly start holding and stroking my white cat from now on.

    • Small Anne Cordelia
      0

      Ha – I know! I kept expecting him to say, “No, Mr. Bond; I expect you to DIE.”

    • Ann
      0

      That was hilarious and completely wtf? I hope it becomes a regular thing, where each week, Cee Lo will randomly have a different animal. Like a koala. Or baby porcupine.

  5. Rachel
    0

    I see Xtina eyeing Cee-Lo in his ruby suit and can hear her saying in her best witch voice, “And your little cat too…” Quick Cee-Lo! Save yourself! Flap those T-Rex arms and say “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!”

    twowineybitches.com

  6. Beth
    0

    Curse you, Super Bowl lead-in, you got your wish. I watched it because it was on after the game, and what do you know, it was hilarious and there were actually some good singers. I might actually come back.

  7. Erin
    0

    I’m not usually a fan of these kinds of shows (aka American Idol, X-Factor, etc), but this one totally sucked me in during a marathon last year and I love it! And who doesn’t love a red sequin ensemble?

  8. vandalfan
    0

    This schtick got old with Ted Mack’s Original Amateur Hour, Brought To You By Geritol.

  9. The Other Molly
    0

    I want a Cee Lo Slanket.
    This show (unfortunately) came on while I was in the shower last night.
    Otherwise, it would have been turned off.
    While toweling my hair, I watched two minutes of Agagaleering rolling her eyes and making fun of someone who was competing.
    That was enough for me.

  10. Kris
    0

    Anytime we get to Adam Levine one step closer to his PETA ad I’m happy.

    • Mary
      0

      Yes. This. Take it allll off, baby. Erm, I mean…I would like to sit and have a deep, intellectual conversation with Mr. Levine.

  11. Miranda
    0

    Man, I think Xtina is obnoxious as hell on the show, but last night’s episode made me like her a little more? This is going to out me as a total snob, but those shots of her sort of twitching when somebody hit a note wrong or lost their breath support…I totally relate to those shots. I am doing that on my couch whenever I watch any singing show. So I appreciated that as a sign that at least when it comes to the technical aspects of singing, she has a brain and she is using it.

    Everything else she does on the show is wicked embarassing to even be in a room with, though. I don’t know how the other judges put up with it without just freaking out on TV (although I loved it when Blake meangirled her a little), and I wish to god the producers would stop pushing this “sexual tension” thing. It is not happening. Adam Levine would not touch it with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole, and I say this even though I think he is beyond smarmy.

  12. GingerLover
    0

    What the hell is a Cee Lo, no don’t tell me. in the leather jacket he looks like the Great Gazoo and the Wizard of Oz’s head combined… vera scara!

  13. Mary
    0

    Cee-Lo’s cat’s name is Mr. Purrfect. It has its own Twitter account and OH MY GOD DID I JUST ADMIT I KNOW THAT ON THE INTERWEBS.

    • Suzy
      0

      And we thank you for that, Mary :) **runs off to Twitter to find Cee-Lo’s cat’s account**

  14. Sajorina
    0

    “The Voice” is worth watching if you can get past how obnoxious Christina Aguilera is and how ridiculous & inappropriate are her outfits! Christina, YOU are NOT Madonna & you will NEVER be!!! I’m only watching you on TV and your boobs are about to give me a couple of black eyes, so STOP IT!

  15. Lizzie T
    0

    Heather, just a quick thanks for bringing it back to Yo Gabba Gabba so often. Your Brobee reference the other day was PITCH PERFECT. I’m keeping my eyes open for a Peppa Pig reference :)

    For a young-ish exhausted mama with a two-year old son, I am MUCH more likely to get a Nick Jr reference than, well, just about any other reference.

    Man, I can’t even communicate properly today. IS IT NAPTIME YET?

    • Lizzie T
      0

      Geez, I used the word “reference” four times in that post. Heavens.