In which Lindsay manages to a) get production to UNPACK HER APARTMENT, b) scapegoat her assistant, and then c) scapegoat THE ENTIRE PRODUCTION, before Oprah gives her a talking-to that involves a few kindly bleepings.

We’ve decided what Season 2 is: OPRAH ADOPTS LINDSAY. Stedman is even a life coach, sort of — his Web site says he teaches Identity Development and how to relax and get a grip and stop being blinded to who you really are by all your freakouts (this is a very faulty paraphrasing), and Lindsay would be CATNIP for him. Make it happen, Oprah. Dina would probably give her to you for one car payment.