LINDA: You must adore me, Karl.

KARL: Yes, I must. You handcuff the souls of the innocent to your bedpost and then swallow the key.

LINDA: I meant more that clearly you adore me, because I am here. And I am expensive.

KARL: Price tags are for sale items, pet. UPCHARGE.

LINDA: You’re sure?

KARL: If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. This is why I do not use question marks.

LINDA: Well, that’s good, as long a the check clears.

KARL: Your lower half is curious like a monkey in space. It speaks of a clown, stuck in a humorless laugh mob, sad and trapped in its inhuman mask of painted jollity.

LINDA: What does that mean?

KARL: Your skirt looks like it is wearing pants.

LINDA: I don’t think a skirt can wear pants, Karl.

KARL: Tish and pish, Linda. Facts are for the stubborn. INVENT.

LINDA: Okay, well, I will INVENT that perhaps my pants are wearing a skirt. Or they’re tights. The issue is as murky as my clothes are dove-white.

KARL: Do not speak of doves. They have the feet of liars.

LINDA: … Wait, I’m lost.

KARL: Become found.

LINDA: What was the question?

KARL: You don’t listen. Wealth is the answer. I am too rich to question.

LINDA: So… you don’t like the white tights.

KARL: To think about them is to make them real. And so I drift. ROW.

LINDA: I’m upping my price.

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[Photo: Getty]