[Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News]
I love how the fourth slide says “stops being detail” twice, like it needed two attempts to stop with the needless detail before devolving into the fallen souflee look.
Why can’t somebody get her to wear a properly fitting bra?……every outfit would be improved.
Even an ill-fitting bra might help in some cases – I don’t know what fabric the jumpsuit is made out of, but I really don’t think I should be able to measure nipple diameter from a photo.
New Project Runway challenge: design a bra that Heidi will wear.
Automatically auf’d if she ends up wearing the bra as a shirt instead of undergarments.
Except she’s constantly doing her critique saying, “How do we wear a bra with that?” and “What kind of bra could we possibly wear with that?!” It drives me crazy knowing how she actually dresses.
I didn’t know she did that. Now, that could get me to watch! Because I’ll be hoping, praying, for the day a contestant replies: “What difference does it make? You don’t believe in bras!”
Well, maybe it’s her way of acknowledging many potential buyers would like the option of wearing a bra with outfits, even if that’s not her personal preference?
Girl does NOT seem to like bras in any way, shape or form.
One great and three so-so’s, with extra credit for not flashing any private parts. Average grade B-
Yes, we need to encourage anything that keeps most of her privates, private. It would be such a refreshing change.
“So-so” is giving those three too much credit. They are awful.
I’m not in love with any of these, but I think they are all steps in the right direction. There will be some stumbles on the road to finally dressing like a grown-up woman, and I’m okay with that. At least she’s starting the trip.
Now if we could only get her to Look Into Bras! PLEASE, HEIDI. JUST TRY ONE ON.
She is more than 20% clothed in all of these, so it’s a win all around. I feel better being able to bitch about her wrinkly jumpsuit eating her feet than about what seemed more and more like a desperate spiral of exhibitionism. Here’s hoping she’s got her heart healed and her head on straight, and keeps remembering that she’s Heidi F’ing Klum and looks incredibly beautiful even with actual clothes on. That way we can all bitch merrily about how ugly the clothes are, not how sad she seems.
When pants are so long that they swallow up shoes, I privately think of them as “puddle pants”. Puddle jumpsuits are a bridge too far for my mental vocabulary.
Of course she is so beautiful and always will be but why this rabid need to be forever famous? Dial it down, indeed..
I wish the jumpsuit had been in a less wrinkly fabric. I kinda like the idea of it.
Photo #4 looks like Giant Gwyneth Paltrow to me.
Heidi, the Desiderata say to surrender gracefully the things of youth. Enough with the micro-minis and slick ponytail.
And that lady in the background of the fourth photo is my soul sister. “Yeah, take MY photo. Riiiight.”
I’m not so sure that #1 is really considered dialing it down to a 7. That’s an awful lot of cleavage and leg. She couldn’t wear to her husband’s office party without drawing an awful lot of attention, for example.
And #2 wasn’t that bad.
#3 made me want to stab myself in the eyeball with a knitting needle.
But considering where she started from…
Mention she looks oddly thick about the waist and why are her boobs saggy.. that worry ought to set a fire for her to improve.
Wasn’t she a Victoria’s Secret model once? maybe she O’Dd on corsets and underthings and thus likes to let it all hang out?
#2 is desperate cougardom,too much instead of ‘not enough’ (clothes) but she looks grand in #1
The 1st outfit is definitely a YES! FAB! The rest… NO!
The second one screams RHONJ. I’m actually not entirely opposed to the jumpsuit. The first is something I’d like to see on Blake Lively (and something Ryan Reynolds might actually allow her to wear), but it works pretty damn well on Heidi, too.
On the other hand, I’m in danger of seeing her areolae in exactly none of them, so…success?
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