Fugger: Tim McGraw

ACM Awards Fug Carpet: Faith Hill (with Tim McGraw)


I like to think that Tim is sidling up behind her and saying, “If I’d known you were going to wear that color, I would have worn all denim and we could have done our best Britney and Justin.

I mean, it’s NOT denim. But I THOUGHT it was. And that’s almost as bad.

[Photo: Getty]

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CMAs Fug or Fab Carpet: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill


TIM: I look like the way I always look. Except for the color of my suit is inspired by Don Draper. So is my drinking tonight, but don’t tell anymore.

FAITH: I am going to blow your mind.

TIM:…okay.

FAITH: This outfit is totally GOOP-inspired. White…suggestion of a cape….sideboob, which is my totally my version of sidebutt.

TIM:…okay.

FAITH: Don’t you get it? Is your hat on too tight?

TIM: Probably.

FAITH: I’m dressed like Gywneth Paltrow, and you played Gywnnie’s husband in Country Strong where she was playing a character based on me. I’m playing a person who played a person who is ME. IT’S LIKE WE’RE AT THE APEX OF THE UNIVERSE.

TIM: Just don’t bring home a bird in a box.

[Photo: Getty]

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CMA Awards Fug or Fab: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill


TIM: We are so coordinated!

FAITH: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

TIM: That wasn’t a joke, babe. Just an observation. We look like two formal salutes to the black and white cookie.

FAITH: Jerry Seinfeld once said that he loved the black and white cookie because it was two races of flavor living side by side in harmony, and a wonderful thing. LOOK TO THE COOKIE, TIM. LOOK TO THE COOKIE.

TIM: And then he and Elaine fought a woman over a babka. I don’t know if Seinfeld is a good sartorial inspiration. Although I do agree with George that we really should all drape ourselves in velvet.

FAITH: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

TIM: You are acting so weird tonight.

FAITH: The truth is, I’m uncomfortable in this.

TIM: Why? You look comfortable! It’s fetching.

FAITH: I am just more accustomed to wriggling around in pleather football pants.

TIM: You can put those on when we get home.

Your turn!

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Fugday Night Football


FAITH HILL: Ooh! Excuse me, stranger, you’re standing awfully close.

TIM MCGRAW: Huh. Is this like one of those role-playing dress-up games you like?

FAITH: WELL. I don’t know what kind of lady you think I am, MYSTERY SIR, but I am here to tell you–

TIM: Faith, it’s ME. Tim.

FAITH: Ha! I don’t think so.

TIM: I am. I swear. Look, I have your car keys in my pocket.

FAITH: WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?

TIM: From you. Because I’m your husband.

FAITH. No. See, my husband wears hats. Big ones.

TIM: All the time, huh?

FAITH: Yes.

TIM: In the shower?

FAITH: Yes.

TIM: In the kitchen?

FAITH: Double yes.

TIM: In bed?

FAITH: OF COURSE.

TIM: HA. Then what hatless sex fiend did you think was snuggling up to you last night, if it wasn’t your husband, a.k.a ME?

FAITH: … I plead the fifth.

TIM: Fine. I’d rather talk about your outfit, anyway. Shall we take a closer look at it?

FAITH: If you want, but I’ve really got to go meet my husband in a minute. He’ll be wondering where I am.

TIM: In a sense, he already is.

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