Fugger: Sarah Jessica Parker

Fugs and Fabs: “Hamilton” Broadway Opening


Dilemma: I want shows to stay open on Broadway for a long time, so that theatre there thrives, but I ALSO want them to migrate west faster. Those desires appear to be at odds. Sigh. Fun Home, I’m coming for you. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I AM.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Sarah Jessica Parker on Cosmopolitan, August 2015


Cosmo is REALLy into this one particular font right now: The same one from “Oh My Goddess” and other parts of this cover was the one they used last month to shriek about sex next to Nicki Minaj, and yes, also the one from May’s 50th Anniversary Sex Issue starring Madonna. It’s like they have a new toy they can’t put down.

Sarah Jessica Parker, Cosmopolitan, August 2015

Sidebar: I’ve given up on understanding how “HOT SUMMER SEX” differs from last month’s WILD SUMMER SEX” — much less from “SEX SO HOT” (June, and that same font again) or “SEX SEX SEX” (May). Do they get paid by the sextion — I mean, the mention?

Otherwise, I think SJP’s hair at least looks great. She is famously naturally curly, and while this may be the blown-out-and-recurled iteration of that, I still at least appreciate that she’s willing to be seen with waves in her hair (LE SIGH, Kidman and Keri Russell and Julianna Margulies). I wish the pose and the facial expression had a little more personality to it — a touch of Nice Girl to temper the fierce, showing she can be both — and a lot less tension in her mouth. But my real beef is the dress. It’s kind of Real Housewives, no? And am I crazy, or does this make her look like she has Anna Nicole-style falsies in there? Maybe she does; maybe it’s not an optical illusion. I don’t even mean it as a judgment. I just genuinely don’t think I have ever noticed her cleavage size before, and so I’m unaccustomed to having them greet me so enthusiastically. But I do know this: Nothing has ever made me so grateful to have dated in the Stone Age than the phrase “Decode His Snapchats.” That sounds mentally exhausting and like a recipe for a Lifetime movie that doesn’t end in the woman’s favor.

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Fug or Fab: Sarah Jessica Parker in Elie Saab


When we originally saw this on the runway, I noted that I liked the pattern very much and I stand by that reckless opinination:

Irish Repertory Theatre's YEATS: The Celebration

And good on SJP for rocking the flats with it. I feel like they give this whole outfit a kind of Come To Cocktails At My Place In Santorini vibe that I am happy to pick up. (I also just noticed that 43% of all posts I’ve written in the last few days have involved some kind of mythical vacation. WHY aren’t we on vacation right now, you guys? And if you ARE on vacation right now, why didn’t you take me with you?)

[Photo: Getty]

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Met Gala Fug Carpet: Sarah Jessica Parker in SJP/H&M and Philip Treacy


I don’t know how to tackle this one. Because I like SJP a lot — I’ve never heard anyone who’s ever met her (including us!) have a single bad word to say about her. She’s by all accounts really nice and a total pro and a class act. And she always GOES FOR IT HERE and I also appreciate that. I am not sure that I appreciate this, though. It gets complicated. Let’s discuss.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Yet ANOTHER Jingle Ball


All of these people are so over jingling and balls by now.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash]

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Fugs or Fabs: Sarah Jessica Parker and Nicole Richie


My kneejerk reaction is that Nicole looks great and SJP (bless her) looks wacky. Let’s dig deeper.

[Photo: Splash]

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