Fugger: Rooney Mara

Fug or Fab: The Sisters Mara


Do we have a (potential) Ginnifer Goodwin situation here — as in , did somebody stupidly give Rooney Mara a complex about her smile — or do we think she’s still in Lisbeth Salander gloomy-guts mode?

There is something unusual and pretty about the main dress, but the torso awning seems so stiff and overly artsy on her, like it’s yelling so hard in the name of making a statement that it’s not paying attention to what the statement actually is. The spacey remove of the wearer doesn’t sell it. I’m not saying she has to be Little Miss Sunshine if she isn’t, but a hint of a smile would be nifty. Maybe she hates that she made this movie, which I keep calling Drugs Are Bad, Mmmkay, but her career won’t be dead by its hand. So even if her shoulders look like a flower arrangement being laid atop someone’s coffin, she shouldn’t mourn like she’s at an ACTUAL funeral.

Her sister wasn’t super cheerful either, and went the opposite end of the color spectrum:

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Fugs and Fabs: The House of Cards premiere


I was thinking to myself, “I wonder if Rooney Mara and Kate Mara ever get asked to pose together, Olsen-style.” It turns out the answer is YES, but with 50% less change of permanently conjoined hips.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug the Cover: Rooney Mara


Who had Mara in the 2013 Vogue cover pool? Everyone, check your ballots! (Next year, I’m going to figure out how to make handicapping Vogue covers a contest; it looks like, so far, Fug National Emma is the only one who called Rooney.)

Leaving aside the fact that she is wearing a fishing net — it’s Vogue, and sometimes nets are worn! Even I realize that these are things that happen — can we just talk about how apparently the Powers That Be had a whole conversation about how consumption is totally hot for spring? Everyone, throw out your smoky eye palate and get out your feverish one!

[Cover: Vogue.com]

 

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Rooney Mara-ly Played, Rooney Mara


Damn it, Hathaway. I will not give up my crown of Hollywood’s premier avant garde architectural gown-wearer without a fight. You wanna go there? YOU HAVE TO COME THROUGH ME FIRST. And I’m just getting started. GAME ON, SISTER.”

[Photo: Getty]

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Met Ball Fug/Fab Face-Off: Marion vs Rooney


Beyonce may have been the Omega of transparency on the red carpet last night, but there were plenty of other comers before her — including the Former Queen of Spiky Bangs Rooney Mara, and the pretender to her throne, Marion Cotillard.

I say “pretender” because, while they’re a little dated and feathered (despite being so short) on Marion, they also don’t distract me from how adorable her face is. Whereas Rooney’s just looked like traumatic event — which is apt for Lisbeth Salander, but rough sledding for a starlet.

Let’s consider the outfits, though. Marion here has a gown that I think might have been truly gorgeous, had the ombre effect been opaque, rather than an exercise in skirty-hose — you know, sheer like nylons, flowy like a dress. Sometimes I just think, look, if you want to wear booty shorts that badly, then stick to your guns and wear them and hang the consequences. Let us hate them if we must, or love them if we dare. Just don’t prevaricate.

Ditto to Rooney:

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Oscars Fug Carpet: Rooney Mara


On one hand, this is like the Platonic Ideal of what Rooney Mara would wear to the Oscars: colorless, architectural, a little weird, and best suited for someone with minimal cleav. (Minimal Cleav, by the way, is the name of my new band. You’re going to love our new single, “Don’t Hate Me (Because I Don’t Need a Sports Bra).”) On the other, WHY DOESN’T IT FIT HER BETTER?

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