Fugger: Mischa Barton

The Fug.C.: Mischa Barton in Têca / Helô Rocha


This dress is not good. It makes her look like a box that somebody quit trying to open.

But my first piece of free advice is: If your illusion netting undulates spontaneously, you’re doing it wrong. Marble your cakes, your rib-eyes, and your slabs, not your torso.

[Photo: Getty]
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Casual Fuggerday: Mischa Barton


In case you’re wondering what Mischa Barton is up to:

She’s carrying all the things, and she’s also matching the steel toe of her boot to the sequins on her top, which — frankly — is pretty advanced.

[Photo: FameFlynet]

 

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The Fugliful Life: TFL


This photo album was captioned “MISCHA BARTON at I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK premiere,” and I misread it as, “MISCHA BARTON WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK,” which sounds like a great Syfy TV show. She could track people down alleys and into their unlit houses, or you could just hire her for those moments where there’s a noise in your basement and the lightbulb is out and you want backup as you plunge into the inky depths. She should get on that immediately.

As for the clothes:

We begin so many posts with, “Well, her face looks nice,” which almost always portends doom for the rest of it. The good news for Mischa is that it’s not DOOM; just perhaps a drizzle of gloom. With the see-through shirt and satin skirt with the cheap-looking ruffle, I feel like we just got slammed in the abs with a bat marked “2002″ and fell backward into a time when stylists were scarce, and young actresses almost exclusively wore clothes that looked like they cost $19.99 at Charlotte Russe. Then again, having just seen Miley’s pants, maybe we were headed back in that direction anyway.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: Opening Night at the Metropolitan Opera


And now we have to play catch-up on everything that happened while we were wringing out our Emmy lightboxes. First up is this gala, which was FULL of dramatic gowns. When it’s time to go big, Diane Kruger rarely disappoints.

[Photos: Getty, INF]

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The O.C.’s Tenth Anniversary: A Mischa Barton Fugstory, Part 2


This part covers a lot of the territory that made Fug Madness her province. Beginning with this. WHAT IS THIS PELVIC HELLBONNET?

Part 1 is here.

[Photos: Getty, Splash, INF, Fame/Flynet]

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The O.C.’s Tenth Annivesary: A Mischa Barton Fugstory, Part 1


I had to split this into two parts and it’s STILL long. But reducing Fug Madness near-winner Mischa Barton into one post felt like slighting the ignominious history that has made her so vital to Fug Nation. In other words, she’s worn A LOT OF THINGS, and I STILL left a bunch out — if I missed anything you loved, please do drop the link in the comments.

And without further ado, here is Barton Fug Memoirs, part 1: Before Things Got Really Kind Of Depressing.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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