Fug File: Man Fugs

Guys’ Choice Awards Pointedly Not Nakedly Played: Rihanna


KEVIN HART: RIHANNA! What are you DOING? YOU are KILLING ME.

RIHANNA: Ha ha, your clothes look like someone drove past you through a mud puddle.

KEVIN: That’s not what I MEAN, Rihanna. What do guys choose, Rihanna?

RIHANNA: Uh. Me?

KEVIN: YES. And NIPPLES. YOU AND NIPPLES. WHY DID YOU WEAR THE NAKED DRESS TO THAT OTHER THING?

RIHANNA; Well, I thought it might be creepy to wear that here, so I’m keeping it casual, yeah?  It was a fashion statement. Don’t wanna upstage the antlers.

KEVIN: It was a BUTTOCK STATEMENT. And we wanted to HEAR IT. We would have been HERE FOR YOU. We would have TAKEN DICTATION.

RIHANNA: All right, I get it, but I have a whole naked strategy and it does not involve you or tonight. Naked Dress’s time has come and gone, man.

KEVIN: Time is a flat circle, Rihanna. Time is a FLAT. CIRCLE.

RIHANNA: What does that even mean?

KEVIN: I don’t know! McConaughey said it on True Detective so it’s probably total bullshit! Maybe it means I will get a chance to come back around and TRUTHFULLY DETECT your NAKED DRESS!

RIHANNA: I’m kinda over my nipples now. NEXT.

KEVIN: Lordy. Rethink your timing next year.

RIHANNA: No thanks. I’m good. Rethink your shirt.

[Photo: Getty]

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Casual Fuggerday: Drake


Drake, dude, I know you and Rihanna are ALLEGEDLY on the outs, but really?

Drake Pajama Top

Wearing a pajama top to dinner helps NO ONE. Stay HOME in those blue satin jammies and watch Bridget Jones and eat ice cream. You’ll feel better. Promise.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Well Played, Angelina Jolie in Versace (But What Is Going On With Brad?!)


Well, if Elle Fanning is in full Princess Aurora costume, so has Angelina worn her best Maleficent, including jewelry that can double as weaponry.* (She DID leave the horned cape at home, which is a shame.) She and Brad also appear to be having the BEST TIME, even if he is turning into the lounge lizard at your chain-smoking aunt’s local, who she swears used to be really, really handsome.

*Which she might have needed, because GUESS WHO randomly punched Brad on the red carpet? That Random Jerkweed who stuck his head up America Ferrera’s dress. SERIOUSLY, how on earth is he getting this close to the red carpet without being escorted from the premises? ESCORT THE JERKWEED OUT.

[Photos: Getty]

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Cannes Fugs and Fabs: The Foxcatcher Premiere


Whoever is dressing Jessica Chastain has finally realized that girlfriend really looks great in color. All that, plus Channing Tatum awaits you.

[Photos: Getty]

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Cannes Manly Man Fugs: The Expendables 3 Photocall


Otherwise known as Men Behaving Manly.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The CW Upfronts


Apparently, when Prince Harry came to the States for the wedding and stopped first in Miami, he met Katie Cassidy. And clearly it scrambled her brains, because now she has these pants.

The CW hasn’t released trailers for iZombie and The Messengers yet, so there was only The Flash and Jane The Virgin to view. The latter is about a girl who’s never had sex who gets accidentally inseminated by her doctor, or something, and I KNOW, it’s TV, it’s fake, but I don’t think I can get over the sheer amount of stupidity it would take on all fronts for that to happen. And The Flash stars Grant Gustin, who was one of the Warblers at Dalton on Glee, and seems to have decent charisma, and I actually think this looks a LOT less self-important and dull and dark than Gotham. But I am bored of superheroes right now. They’re EVERYWHERE. OVER IT.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]

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