Fug File: Fug The Show

Fug the Show: The Good Wife Power Suit Ranking, season 6, episode 12, “The Debate”

“Do you want to be a good man?” “I want to be effective.” “Does one discount the other?” “It can.”

So said Peter to Pastor Isaiah in this episode, although I wonder if that will end up applying as much to Alicia as she gets pulled into politics as it does to her husband. This hour was a tricky one because it deals with fomenting racial tensions in Chicago, in a very Ripped From The Headlines way that has been somewhat controversial. We’ll delve into THAT in a minute. But first: The Power Suit Rankings.

18. Finn

HE WAS NOT IN THIS EPISODE. On the plus side, that means he didn’t have to pop up for two seconds with very little of substance to do; on the minus side, it means HE WAS NOT IN THIS EPISODE. Can we pretend that means he spent the whole time naked, since there is no visual evidence proving otherwise? YES.

17. Kalinda


Kalinda might have been better-served by not being in this hour, either. All she does is wear what looks like an ill-fitting stretch-satin blouse from the You’re Leaving So We’re Not Investing In New Clothes For You fund, and then chase an incorrect theory about one of the Florrick Agos & Lockhart attorneys that inadvertently leads her to the right one (he didn’t DELIBERATELY tank a negotiation with his mentor David Lee; he simply was distracted because of his child’s medical drama). There are no shades of anything between her and Cary, but he did call her his girlfriend in the LAST episode, so I guess… we’re to assume she and Lara are no longer an item? And that Cary is no longer angry that she said she didn’t want to be his girlfriend? WHO KNOWS, because basically, Kalinda had to sit down for most of this episode and is just waiting for her illegal act from Cary’s trial to come back and bite her. The nibbler is about to get nibbled.

who’s next?


Fug the Show: Agent Carter recap, season 1, episode 3

The great secret of this show is that the Male Cop Necktie Game is totally on-point.


Fug the Show: Downton Abbey Recap, Season 5, episode 2

First of all, apologies that this is a wee bit later than usual — the Golden Globes shoved me down the Downton well and only just now fished me out. Point the second: I could not get the PBS app to work for me when I was taking screengrabs, so these are from the UK version of this episode (which is the only thing iTunes offers). I assume the US and UK versions are not WILDLY DIFFERENT — like, I can’t imagine the US version suddenly has a scene wherein Carson passionately kisses Thomas and then steals Isis before running off to America — but just so you know. Third: here’s my traditional NO SPOILERS language. Fourth: This episode boasts maybe my favorite thing Lady Mary has ever worn. Fifth: I promise we won’t be plugging this too incessantly, but I feel Downton viewers are the right demographic to actually care about this, and this week has been very busy, so in case you missed it, we revealed the cover of our new book, The Royal We, and we’re giving away three advanced copies. If you like thinking about making out with hot British people, you might enjoy it! Sixth: I’ve gone back to the slideshow format here because, for some reason, this show is easier to recap in slideshow (mostly because Julian Fellows likes to jump from short scene to shorter scene). But I’m not married to that. So prepare yourself for structural experiments this season!!! Aren’t you so excited? Seventh: I have A LOT OF NOTES about Gillingham v. Blake. Like, A LOT. Eighth: I forget what eight was for. Ninth: OH EDITH.


Fug the Show: Agent Carter recap, season premiere and episode 2

As someone who doesn’t watch Agents of SHIELD, hasn’t seen either Thor movie, and saw Captain America 2 on a plane — meaning, Marvel is not a priority – I was surprised at how enjoyable Agent Carter is. It helps that she has a Sydney Bristow streak to her (capable, smart, wry, handy with a wig) and that Hayley Atwell is SUPER charming. So even when my eyes glaze over a bit at Shadowy Villainous Organizations and/or People, and technology that sounds like a juice cleanse you buy off the TV (“Vita Radiation”), there’s a lot to like.

But: This is going to forego plot for the most part, in favor of JUST checking out the visuals: costumes, lipstick, Chad Michael Murray’s level of squintitude in his return to TV… you know, the important stuff.


Fug the Show: The Good Wife Power Suit Ranking, Season 6, Episode 11: “Hail Mary”

The last frame of this episode had me shouting, “Wait, WHAT?” I’m getting a little weary of the election stuff, but it’s made for some intriguing changes to Alicia’s character, and I can’t decide if she’s going to turn into Peter or Will or… her own being. I hope for the latter, fear for the former, but still enjoy the metamorphosis.

And now for your Power Suit Ranking. We begin with an old friend:

17. ASA Geneva Pine


Oh, Geneva. Your career is coming as undone as your muddy jacket, aptly chosen because you are the ground being stomped on right now. In the interest of keeping spoilers off the main page for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, I’m going to stick the jump here and then press on after you’ve clicked.

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Fug the Show: Downton Abbey Recap, Season 5, episode 1

Welcome back, dear friends, to the Downton Abbey recaps! This show brings me great pleasure and many wonderful coats and I delighted that it is BACK. As ever, I sincerely thank everyone who has already seen this season (either by non-televisual means, or because you live in the UK) for not spoiling those of us who prefer to have it unfurl for us on PBS right after The Great British Baking Show, with which I am also obsessed.

AND NOW ONTO DOWNTON. Please say it with me: POOR EDITH.

Seriously, Edith makes the worst, most terrible, choices and now she can’t even burn down the building properly. But we’ll get to that. She DOES at least have great coats. Like this one:


As ever, what a hideous visage being forced upon us. Such a terrible eyesore. How can anyone bear to shoot and/or live there? (Note: I am endlessly distraught that Heather and I didn’t get to take the Downton tour whilst we were in England this time last year researching our new book, and we also didn’t have time to go to do the Harry Potter tour, all of which means that our next book should probably be a Harry Potter/Downton mash-up, right? Can’t you just see it? Harry and Mary would argue all the time, but Mary and Hermione would be secret besties because they feel [and possibly are] ever so slightly superior to a lot of people, and Edith would obviously fall thrall to You Know Who and have to be rescued before she got eaten by Nagini. Harry and Ron and Hermione would also spend a lot of time asking the Dowager Countess if they know her from somewhere, and she’d be all, “NO I DON’T THINK SO MUST GO CHECK ON MY ORCHIDS GOODBYE TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR.”)

ANYWAY, Our Edith is biking off to see her daughter, Marigold, whom she has retrieved from the nice Swiss family who adopted her and instead farmed out to THE DOWNTON PIG FARMER. And she makes all kinds of horribly sad faces about it, even though her coat is totally freaking great:


Don’t worry, Marigold is being extremely well cared for, and much loved and cossetted and you can tell that Edith adores her but is also sort of jealous, and of course it turns out that Mrs Pig Farmer doesn’t even know the truth (she thinks Marigold is the child of some rando friend of the Pig Farmer, and it’s clear that Mr and Mrs Pig Farmer do not have the kind of marriage I personally would wish for, in which I would be able to turn to my Pig Farmer Husband and say, “seriously, dude, who gave you this small child for me to raise?!”) and yadda yadda yadda, we don’t even get an entire episode into this season before the Pig Farmer is like, “my wife finds this whole thing suspicious and we need to find another way.” UM NO KIDDING, YOU GUYS. You cannot just leave your baby with the Pig Farmer whilst your Baby Daddy is off doing God knows what in Germany (slowly turning into a Nazi?!!? It’s still only 1924 but you know. This way he’ll be in QUITE deep) and expect that to go off smoothly. POOR EDITH.

As for the rest of the kids, they’re fine and quite adorable:


And speaking of the rest of the Downtonites, Lord and Lady G are celebrating their wedding anniversary (with very little canoodling indeed); Lord G has got his knickers in a twist because the new Prime Minister is Labour (cue loads of grumbling about their endangered way of life, he’s so misunderstood, etc etc, you know the drill, and PS, your way of life would be saved IF YOU FOUND THAT GUTENBERG BIBLE I KEEP REMINDING YOU ABOUT); Lord G has ALSO got his knickers in a twist because the village is putting up a war memorial and only wants a piece of his land but NOT any of his advice, opting instead to ask Carson to lead their committee (don’t worry, Carson refuses to do it unless they make Lord G patron, which they do; Carson’s knickers are likewise twisted about Their Changing World, which is why he and Lord G are basically soulmates); and, finally, Lord G has his knickers in a twist because he’s still all worked up about thinking that Branson was banging the local schoolteacher whilst everyone was in London for Rose’s presentation at court. (Branson wasn’t, but EvilButler.com said that he was because Thomas holds onto a grudge like nobody’s business, I guess. That said, FINALLY, Thomas had a lot to do this week, which we’ll get to, and which was primarily tying people to train tracks and twirling his mustache.)

In short: Lord G’s knickers are very twisty indeed at the moment. Look on the bright side, man: You haven’t yet run the estate into the ground. AGAIN.

I just chose this shot because Lady Mary’s dress is a gorgeous color on her and also you never see her smile that widely:

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