Fug File: Fug The Show

The Good Wife Power Suit Ranking: season 6 finale

This season ends much the same way last did: a game-changing(ish) offer, in a straight-to-camera entreaty. I am amused by what this one would portend, more so than I was when Eli dangled the election at Alicia, but I’m not sure how I feel about where the other pieces on the board are positioned. Especially the knight. (Who is Finn. Because, like it or not, Peter is still king when it comes to Alicia’s availability for BANGING.)

*I added a piece at the end about Split-Screen Gate. Click here if you already read this and want to jump straight there (though that won’t work from the homepage; you have to go into the full post first).

13. Eli


Mr. Gold does not have his best week. He tries here to hover over Alicia physically, possibly a a way of harvesting some phantom power over her, but Alicia has caught wind that the ghostwriter is running his notes past Eli and getting instructions to steer it away from courtroom intrigue and into a soft portrayal of a woman who is a homemaker (there is even a note: “See if Alicia has any recipes”). She’s being rebranded, basically, back to straight-up Good Wife stuff and away from her brain. She’s not impressed. And not for nothing, I’m pretty sure she has NEVER had any recipes.

He’s not going to get what he wants out of Alicia politically, either. Basically, Eli’s only successful stand is the one he is taking literally by not sitting down, because “I don’t like sitting on steps. I always think, ‘Dogs urinate there.’” Eli, you evacuate yourself all the TIME onto things, metaphorically, so you should be comfortable in the muck.

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Fug the Show: Mad Men, “The Milk and Honey Route”

Well, this episode was A HOOT!!!!

In all seriousness, this episode gave me a lot of emotions: sadness, delight, irritation, impatience. And thus this week’s methodology shall be FEELINGS.

Next week is, as you know, the series finale, and I think I reached a point where…whatever happens, I am at peace with it. I am emotionally prepared for it to be terrible. I don’t EXPECT it to be terrible, but I am — for some reason — going into the finale with the belief that there is no way it will be satisfying. Not because I don’t think this show can deliver, but simply because I think it is impossible for one episode of TV to perfectly cap off the experience of watching Mad Men, because for me that experience has been both sublime and irritating (irritating because of the sublime, if that makes sense. When you’ve experienced how great this show can be, when it spends X amount of time going nowhere [the traditional first three episodes of every season], you get antsy for the good stuff to start). It’s simply too much to ask; how many shows have really pulled off the perfect series finale? Breaking Bad, and that’s about it, right?  AMC, your bar has been set very high.


Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 21

Tell me, Fug Nationals: Does this disclaimer always/often run in front of Scandal?


Because I watch it next-day on Hulu, and this is the first time I’ve noticed it there — or at least, the first time in a while. It certainly wasn’t present during some of the more awful recent episodes, which means I was steeling my stomach for some cruel and unusual gnarliness in this one, and that’s saying something in a show that had a woman eat her own wrist and fetishizes both murder and in particular the slaying of families. But in the end, what happened was no worse than usual. That said, I am so, so sorry that my Grossitude meter is calibrated to these settings.

Anyway: Florence Popeindale is hard at work nursing her patient.


She isn’t doing the most tender job, but that’s because she no longer wants to have sex with him (my editorializing — their scenes now have all the heat of a cold shower). She DOES wheel in a TV and give him the remote, so she must at least still LIKE him as a human being, because if she didn’t she would set that thing to Dr. Phil and then put the remote in the fridge.

Across the hall, two horrible people are being abusive to another horrible person. It’s a Bad Triad.

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Fug the Show: Nashville, season 3, episode 21

One left in the season, and the show officially got picked up for a fourth. Laura Benanti is tabbed as “recurring” for Supergirl, which also got the nod, and it IS also for ABC, so… maybe we can hold out hope that they’ll lend her for a few more.

These two are headed for a hard fall, though:


Apparently Juliette has been taking her jet around the country playing guerrilla public shows, and getting fined for it. She’s high on the rush, but note that it’s Emily in the back of the plane snoozing with Cadence on her chest, while Juliette and Avery sneak off into the bathroom. It doesn’t speak that well of Avery right at the moment that he is not the one noticing Juliette’s aversion to their daughter, especially considering that whenever Juliette glances at her, the expression on her face says, “Ew.”


This, by the way, is the storefront — so to speak — for Rayna’s office. It looks like a diner. And the way she burns through money, if you walked in and ordered a full breakfast, someone would probably be like, “Sure, why not. On the house. Have some shaved truffle with it, and a private jet.”

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Fug the Show: The Royals recap, episode 8, “The Great Man Down”

A haiku for the episode:

Simon is not dead.

Douchetroll Cyrus may be king.

Ted: not fired. WHA.


Fug the Show: Mad Men, “Lost Horizon”

Anyone who watched One Tree Hill was not surprised by the turn of events in this week’s episode. Dan Scott once set someone’s grave on fire (by accident, in fairness, but it was the grave of his brother WHO HE MURDERED). That said, the behavior of certain persons in this episode was ENRAGING, prompting me to — for the first time ever watching this show — tell a variety of them to eff off. Ergo, this week’s Mad Men ranking methodology is THE AMOUNT OF FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE.