This week, I feel like the Frazzled and Blabby Waystar Royco Employee Who Can’t Stop Complaining to her Spouse surely came home and confessed that there was some kind of shareholders’ vote this week and she has no idea what any of that meant? But everyone seemed VERY tense and all the women in the office got dragged into making a promotional video about how respected they are at the company, which everyone knows is A LIE!
In all seriousness, though, I have had a tendency to let this show’s Technical Business Details just wash over me because that bit feels like Algebra II: I know I’m never gonna actually understand it and I definitely won’t use it so why not let all the blah blah go in one ear and out the other? Unlike with Algebra II, however, this week’s Succession midterm exam came as a surprise: I truly did not think the Writers of Succession expected me to understand the corporate structure of Waystar Royco and how, like, boards work or whatever? Because I have not done any of the homework for that! I’m here for rich people yelling at each other because they haven’t addressed their internal personal pain; I do not actually care about the org chart of this business beyond how Who Gets to Be CEO affects the dramatic conflict. Were aspects of past weeks episodes mildly confusing to me, due to my deciding, say, not to try to figure out who Sandy and Sandi actually were? Sure! Was this week ergo more confusing at parts, occasionally to the point where some of the negotiations sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher’s wah wah wah waaaaahh waaah wah wahh wah? Yes! (I think the writers realized that some of their Inside Baseball Shareholder Stuff was a little confusing, and tried to get the audience up to speed on some of the pertinent logistics by including a lot of news footage about the meeting at the beginning, but it felt like they cut all those bits out about ten seconds too early to really help.) Was this episode still quite entertaining? It sure was! It helps that it was very funny — and full of worked up folks rushing around; Tara Ariano’s Decider recap referred to it as having “heist energy” and that was so right — and that after a slightly too-granular start, it eventually did kick into rich people yelling at each other because they haven’t addressed their internal personal pain.
Without any further ado, please direct the attention of the shareholders to our weekly accounting of effs:
Zero Effs, AKA Who Cares?!?!?!?: This is more of a question than a comment but why is Shiv always dressed in something the color of her own flesh?
1-3 Effs, AKA This Is Moderately Diverting:
a. Do we think President Raisin was bluffing when he told Roman — in that very amusing scene — that he’s not going to run again? (I had a whole long thought in here that I wrote at the beginning of the episode about how I thought the Putting the Screws to the President as a Way to Get the DOJ to Back Down Plot felt shoehorned into this episode, but then we actually got the pay-off and I deleted it! But getting there was a little bumpy.) I think no, but only because the Roys not having allies in the White House is much worse for them and therefore far more interesting for us, and because it makes things with Connor more interesting as well.
b. I will note that this episode may be helpful to younger folks who might not know that, yes, UTIs can totally cause mental changes in elderly people, so keep an eye on your parents and grandparents. [Insert the “The More You Know” star here.] (Logan needs a very professional bagman, a la Tony Hale on Veep, to make sure he’s taking his meds. It’s a little weird that he doesn’t have an incredibly adept personal assistant who is more on top of this. Honestly, I feel like that is the job that Tom is best suited for; is that crazy? He’s the person who figured out that something was wrong with Logan and he was really kind but also respectful to him in the bathroom, and afterward.)
4-7 Effs, AKA We Are Quite Intrigued:
a. Connor has made a jump in the Effs ranges, primarily because I think he’s going to do something very very reckless before the season is over, because he feels — and is — overlooked, and that might be fun. I hope so, anyway — Alan Ruck has felt a little wasted prior to this episode. Not always wasted, but more wasted than the rest of the cast on a consistent basis. Give Cameron Frye something to really do! (Do we think they might have him win the presidency? Because that could be incredibly entertaining.)
b. So Cousin Greg did sign Logan’s papers! Why didn’t he discuss this with his now very irritated Socialist Lawyer first?!! Why didn’t he call Grandpa James Cromwell about this?! Grandpa James Cromwell is ALSO RICH, you TALL IDIOT CHILD! And now you’re out of the will! Grandpa James Cromwell is actually right that Greg DOES need to take himself seriously, however. But I do not thinking Greg inquiring if he could sue someone “in an affectionate way” was what he meant by that.
c. Kendall CANNOT RESIST making an Impromptu Speech at ANY large-scale event. It hardly ever works out for him! How is he so inept? (Related, did Kendall call….HIMSELF “the puppetmaster”? He truly has no self insight. And yet I felt really sorry for him that Logan didn’t even make the effort to chew him out. Thus is the magic of Jeremy Strong’s Sad Eyes, also the name of my new band.)
8-10 Effs: THIS IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR:
a. Shiv Shiv Shiv Shiv Shiv Shiv Shiv, sometimes I think you should have stayed at your vague journalism (???) job, because none of this is going to work out the way you want, but watching you run all over this episode to make that deal come hell or high water was very entertaining. You’re not gonna get that seat on the board! (But that scene with Hope Davis was honestly great.)
b. Related: OMG TOM NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO HAVE A BABY. She doesn’t even like you, not deep down. Having said that, I would like to read the college student’s paper comparing Tom’s desire to have a baby with Shiv to tie her to him while he’s in jail (and potentially in general) to, say, the way brides of Henry VIII tried desperately to have a son to keep him (and also themselves alive). Tom is coded very feminine in this episode between this and his caretaking of Logan and it’s interesting. I low-key think Tom might be the most complex character on the entire show. I hope he likes the prison at which he ends up doing time. (I don’t think Tom is actually going to go to prison. My prediction is that Shiv is going to do SOMETHING because she assumes he’s about to be out of her hair and then it will backfire.)
Bits of note which didn’t fit into our super scientific system of effs but which deserve recognition nevertheless: “I just do what my Dad tells me. Like you guys,” from Lady Sandi was a beautiful burn; Kendall needs to let his nanny be in charge of the rabbits and not overrule her or Google! Talk about someone needing to learn to delegate!; Greg suing Greenpeace made me laugh.
And, finally, the best outfit of the week lives above, in the header: I don’t really understand what Stewy’s position exactly is in this org chart (he’s a….transpondser?) but I do love his turtleneck; I will say that Gerri’s blow-out looked great this week as well, and Roman was wearing the best-tailored suit they’ve ever put on Kieran Culkin.
