I wish I were joking, and that these belonged to Mickey Rourke. Not so.
OK, clearly he’s ridiculous, because of everything you just said (plus, the public fights with Selena and the speeding tickets and whatever else). But despite all that, or maybe because of it, I think I’m developing the tiniest soft spot for him. He’s just so inadvertently entertaining, and he gives a lot to charity. Call it a Thanksgiving miracle.
Hilarious posts…totally agree, except I think he probably is the next JT and I think he was the only one who sang even a bit of a song live on that show!….He just needs a new stylist….this is all Usher’s fault!
No…just no. I can’t with him.
Every single caption is hilarious here. In the photo of him grabbing at the Biebwurst (OMG BIEBWURST), you very accurately pointed out that he’s a long way from becoming the new JT. I would point out that in those pants he’s also a long way from the Biebwurst.
BIEBWURST. Lots of LOLs on this set of pics. Thanks ladies!
I hope I never devote another brain cell to the Biebwurst. In fact, I must now go bleach the brain cell I just had to devote to the Biebwurst.
That shot of him with Nicki Minaj made me weep for the state of music today.
Did it? I had some sympathy for Niki there, who had to pretend to be subtly desirous of the airy flap of pants fabric he’s holding up to her bum.
The child makes you laugh and he doesn’t have to try.
BWHAHA. Spit take all over the computer. Ringthing, you read my mind.
Okay, so I love that shot of the Biebs with the backup dancer behind him, and the dancer’s pants have a higher crotch, and I have this fantastic mental image of the Biebs having a temper tantrum that NO ONE”S crotch can be lower than his, The End.
Everything else? Yada yada yada trainwreck.
Ugh. He is the living WORST.
And seriously, who in his camp is endorsing the sleeveless? Bad call.
The living WURST, you mean -
Mickey Rourke – good call!
His arms make me laugh. You can tell he’s been working out, but he’s just not bulking up. Because you have to go through puberty before that happens.
This. This, Mair Mair – “Because you have to go through puberty before that happens” was my only actual LOL here despite the hilarity of it all.
Somebody please get the poor child some protein powder. And a subscription to Men’s Health.
I cannot. I simply cannot. He’s completely ridiculous. And aside from being INSANE, those dropped crotch pants just highlight how scrawny he is.
YES. He’s built just like my nephew…who is in 6th grade.
Those pants offend me. Personally, on a personal level, I am offended by those stupid freakin pants.
And all the people say … amen.
What a DEB (Distance Enhances Beauty)!!!
He has “douchebag style” down.
I cannot stand this kid, and the fact that he was voted “ARTIST of the YEAR” is just RIDICULOUS!
What is with the poopy diaper pants?! I’ve seen Biebs, Usher and JLo wearing those awful pants. Why?!
A friend of mine has a theory that they have them specially tailored this way so that they can then do the crotch grab without actually sending their voices into a higher register.
His voice can go higher?? ‘Cause it ain’t exactly tenor as it is.
I thought the “poopy diaper pants” was how performers tried to make their organs appear large. I realize it’s probably for movement, but unless they’re going to dance like M.C. Hammer or Psy, I can’t really justify it.
It seems to me that the lower crotch would make movement harder- can’t take as long of a stride. (Think Burt in Mary Poppins). My theory is he has to do the crotch grab so he can move!
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Did we really need Hammer-pants to come back in style?
Up until this posting today, I was pretty much neutral on this character, because yes he’s RIDICULOUS, but I can remember my own tween crush (Bobby Sherman, yes I am VERY OLD, get off my lawn etc.), and realize he probably was equally as ridiculous to the Crazy Old Ladies of the times…but. You have gone too far, Bieber. Even grading on the Tween Crush Curve, you have taken yourself off to outlier land.
I am VERY old too and Bobby Sherman was my crush also. And I know my parents probably looked at him the same way as we look at this creature but Bobby was a bit more manly. My 90 year old aunt said her aunt thought that Frank Sinatra was a crappy singer when my aunt was crushing on him. So it goes through the generations but this one is so lightweight. And he needs to stop tugging at his crotch…there is nothing there!
Team Bobby Sherman. Now THAT was a good head of hair.
You are so very funny about this boy. And he is a boy trying to look like a sexy man- and the result is sadly ridiculous. Can’t others besides us see it? Can young girls really think he could turn on their lights?
Wish I could share the Bieber coverage with my twelve year old or someone who would enjoy it as much as I did, but she wouldn’t find it funny and I don’t EVEN want her pondering the Biebwurst.
Those drop crotch pants!
He can’t possibly think that he’s going to *grow* into them?
Studded old-man slippers worn with saggy quilted long johns. Red leather incontinence pants. And a general flavour of Macaulay Culkin imitating Eminem. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.
And if there was a competition for best new word on GFY, ‘biebwurst’ wins hands down.
I have a horrid feeling that the spiky old man slippers are Louboutins. It’s one way to kill the brand, I guess.
“Incontinence pants” for the win.
I don’t think so. I linked to some coverage on them below. Louboutins look better than this. A solid sole or heel, and better construction. They are most likely inspired by the line.
Redeem your eyes by looking at them on Idris Elba. Hell, just redeem your eyes by looking at Idris Elba – shoes are ancillary
Thank you. Elba has indeed revived my jaded eyes.
Idris Elba fixes everything.
Oh, Idris Elba was sorely needed after this post.
I think my favorite thing in all of this is that the pants he’s wearing on the red carpet are quilted! He’s wearing quilted diaper pants. I cannot believe how ridiculous (and spoiled!) he must be. Ha!
I know, they look like mattress’ covers!
He wore at least two different pairs of those same pants (different colors), so he must think they are pretty cool. Maybe he should watch the video, because what I saw was him constantly grabbing his butt and his crotch the entire show, He couldn’t even walk up the stairs without pulling them up. It’s like pulling a reverse wedgie in front of a million people. So cool.
I work with college students, many of whom are habitual junk grabbers. I’m going to start shouting “QUIT GRABBIN THE BIEBWURST!” every time they do it now.
I thank you. This made my day.
I was about to point out these are Louboutins – Idris Elba wore a black pair at the Globes back in January, but being Idris Elba, they worked on him – but they are lacking the heavy sole. They must be knock-offs. VERY BAD knock-offs.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the palate cleanser that is Idris Elba. I can’t even begin to discuss the disaster that is the biebwurst.
Idris Alba looks LIKE A BOSS in those!
I think Idris Elba is the male equivalent of “she could look good when wearing a burlap sack”….
Mmm …. Idris Elba …
I’ve actually seen shoes similar to those loafers in the ladies’ shoe department of Belk’s (a local dept store). They were by Sam Edelman. They cost a fortune and weigh a ton.
Also, I heard that when he won an award he said “This is for all the haters.” Really? I suppose he wasn’t even born when Milli Vanilli won a bunch of awards and we all know how that story turned out.
So, he dedicated his award to me? Awwww!
GAH. I feel I must once again apologize on behalf of my people: CANADA IS SO VERY VERY SORRY.
Ditto ChristieLea, we truly are sorry!! And just so everyone knows – We do wear proper fitting pants in Canada! Where the heck is he getting those things??? And if someone is actually making those pants for him, dear God please stop!!
He’s really kinda creepy. I’m not young anymore, but he could never have been my crush. Yuck!
I just don’t even know where to start. This was such a mess. I don’t understand his pants. Is that fashion? It’s just terrible. I have a pair of black loafers with gold semi pointy studs on them (which are super cute) that first reminded me of those shoes but then I quickly realized his are turrible and my are cute. He needs to quit and please get some sleeves on those chicken arms.
Gross. Gross. Gross. How much longer must we endure that vacant expression where he raises both eyebrows and just stares at the camera like he’s an idiot?
I swear that I saw those shoes on the women’s section at ALDO two days ago! Who the hell does he think he is? He’s too Canadian to be an American Gangsta, too white to be a Hip-Hop Star, too lesbian-looking for me to think of him as a man, and his clothes are too RIDICULOUS for him to be taken seriously! Damn, I’m tired of this Usher/Kanye wannabe! FUG FOR LIFE!!!
By the way, “Oh hey baby girl, is this where they’re holding auditions for the Pink biopic?” is the BEST THING EVER!
You are so so right on…
I’m calling it now: 2013 Fug Madness Champion!
Girlfriend has some toned arms!
Purse with legs. LOL. CLASSIC!!!
PURSE. WITH. LEGS.
that made my week.
I don’t mean this as meanly as it will sound, but I don’t get why he doesn’t look any older than he looked three years ago. Is he on some kind of reverse HGH?
I have, in complete seriousness, wondered about this myself. I’m not sure how one would go about delaying adolescence (well, without starvation), but if it can be done… it might’ve seemed like a good move, since his initial appeal was all in his hairless harmlessness. Then, maybe he just kinda got stuck, the way elite gymnasts sometimes do.
Pure speculation, but it would actually give me some sympathy for him if there’s anything to it.
I am so glad you mentioned that! I was thinking the same thing. Why doesn’t he look older than he used to?
I’m an old, so Bieber is just a little too much nonsense for my taste, but also, after watching the Rolling Stones’ documentary “Crossfire Hurricane” this weekend, I look at these pics and I’m like “Really? Really? This is what passes for talent now?”
Someone needs to look in his mom’s attic for a creepily aging portrait…
I’ve actually posited this theory to people before. I am convinced that Bieber’s people have him on drugs that delay the onset of puberty just so they can milk every ounce of tween-fuelled ardor out of his fans. There is no way to explain it otherwise. I have never in my entire life seen an 18 year-old male who looks like this. Seriously, he could pass for 12, both physically and — I’ll bet — emotionally.
Crikey. He just gets worse doesn’t he?
Jessica- I think it’s a combination of his being blonde (so, no visible facial hair unless he goes *really* long between shaves), skinny, and just plain a late bloomer. He reminds me of some guys i knew in school who looked exactly the same from elementary school till the end of highschool, then at some point in college the hormones kicked in and *boom* grownup.
…or he’s secretly a castrati.
Would it then be a polter-wurst?! WHAT! we’re on fi-yah.
Oh my god, I nearly woke my baby up giggling over the castrati comment! I think the vests are the worst part because he is trying so hard to look like he is a tough guy and the vests show him for what he really is……a skinny runt!
ok, that first photo….those are some S&M bedroom slips, right?
And I seriously can’t look at him without thinking Mary Louise Bieberson. So his wearing those ridiculous gansta wanna be clothes I’d even sadder…. Like, dude, you’re not just not a gansta, you’re kind of more like a girl. Its like he’s TOTALLY overcompensating…. I also read today that he drives a white Ferrari which struck me as equally ridiculous. A Ferarri is for like, a grownup. Shouldn’t he be driving a Suzuki mini SUV?
Nope. His face suggests he should be riding a bike with baseball cards between the spokes. Butched up with super-knobby tyres, of course, ’cause he’s a big boy, now.
At least there’s a wee chance he’ll outgrow all this crap, and ditch the swagger coach and its dreadful, dreadful consequences..? If he does, he’s going to find this whole phase either hilarious or insanely embarrassing.
go away now please
Where’s the TARDIS when Nicki needs it?
He always looks like a little kid playing dress-up to me. With a bad dress-up box.
I just don’t get it. And I never will.
that last picture – I’m blind! And nauseated.
(Actually, I was nauseated before that, by his many terrible sartorial choices.
He would look MORE masculine if he stopped wearing this ridiculous gangsta getup. Do his fans really find what he wears attractive?? Seriously, any guy + a nicely cut suit = 1000% more swoon-worthy, in my books.
Not that I could ever swoon over the Biebs. BUT IT WOULD HELP. HE TRIES SO HARD. DOES HE NOT REALIZE THAT WE CAN SEE THAT HE TRIES SO HARD?!?
Sorry, got all capsy there for a minute.
I don’t think the studded loafters are precisely “the worst” but they are sooooooooo overly-trendy that they make people look like douchebags. Same with Beebzy, everything he wears is clearly picked out by a team of stylists and so douche-trendy its so obnoxious you can’t even look at him.
he would be so much more appealing if he was a cute scruffy indie musician in skinny jeans with a guitar and band t-shirt/plaid shirt.
from that viewpoint, it’s a pity usher got to him first.
i feel the same way about cody simpson.
He earns a good living dressed in droopy drawers and studded house shoes . . . OMG, I just realized this makes me one of the “haters” he keeps talking about.
I like Nicki’s hair in that last photo. I refuse to discuss Bieber’s clothing.
I like this web site substantially, Its an exceptionally nice workplace to read and try to get info . “Reason is simply not measured as a result of size and height, although by idea.” as a result of Epictetus.
As pointed out by a friend of mine: “It’s past Halloween, so why is Bieber still wearing his Vanilla Ice costume?” Since she said that, it’s all I can see.
Also, why insist on making your legs look insanely short? Slide 7 looks like he has the torso and arms of a 6 foot tall person and the legs of a 4 foot tall person. Why would you want to look like this???
You guys and your jokes and puns, crack me up! So, I’m going to try positive criticism. I think if stopped listening to stylist and just dressed like a normal teenage guy in regular levi’s and tee shirts, maybe…yeah, no, I don’t want him to change. I love all the fugness! Bieber for Fug Madness 2013!
Ricky Martin, can you please give Justin a call? He needs your advice about something but he doesn’t know it yet.
Having won two Oscars, there is simply NO reason for Hilary Swank to be acting the fool this way.
OK – I totally own this, but a personal pet peeve are the puffy ball caps worn with the bill to the side. The look automatically makes me think the wearer has a limited IQ. Purely a visual reaction – who knows, they may be Mensa – but I’ve already formed my opinion before they speak. Now, take that same cap and turn it to the back, with the bill canted to the side along with the other fug parts of the wardrobe already mentioned and I’ve just seen the IQ go to the negative. No. Just No.
When looking at him I always feel entertained (in a crack sort of way), disgusted (in an adult sort of way), flabbergasted (for Selena), turned off (omg it’s a baby Kanye douchy sort of way) and horrified (in a “this is a child trying to be man-sexy and it’s totally ooking me out oh god please just stop i think i threw up in my mouth a little” kind of way). Haters? Despots and demi-gods have haters too. For a reason. This kid ooks me OUT.
So, it’ sagreed: we all are nauseated by the sight of him….
First, as a Canadian I apologize for the Bieb being spawned at all.
Second, the Pink biopic audition is SPOT ON.
Third, how does he walk in those purse pants?
Dear Canada: We’ll forgive you if you’ll pretend we didn’t unleash the horror that is Ke$ha. – Signed, America
I hate the clothes he wears.
Oh, Bieber. Never let Katerina Graham costume you again.
Is he wearing Toms?
So… shoes with warts are big for winter 2012?!
About the rest the clothing, I, well, I just can’t.
I do wonder, though: Did NO one learn ANYthing from the train wreck that was Vanilla Ice?
You know, my favorite younger actor, Joseph Gordon Levitt is a skinny thing. When he did Mysterious Skin at like 20 he looked no more than 15. Now he has some wrinkles (smile wrinkles, I hope!) and looks more weathered. I think it’s just his clothing choices. I love K-Pop bands and those young men are just as pretty, but they’re an entire band of prettiness, not one poor Canadian boy in man jewelry all by himself on stage. I think if he disappears for a year or two and comes back with a new looks, he’ll look his age. One thing too, he seems …. professional? Does he have off stage hissy-fits around his performances? He seems to show up and hit his marks, so there’s a worth ethic there.