ACM Awards Well Chosen: Carrie Underwood

I say “well chosen” instead of “well played” because, while I love this, I am not entirely sure the two of them were M.F.E.O. Which is to say, “made for each other,” which, if you have ever seen Sleepless in Seattle, you probably cannot read without seeing in your mind’s eye the expression of nauseated shock on Meg Ryan’s face while she translates it thusly from a letter she believes Tom Hanks wrote. Good times.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (61):

  1. Kristen from MA

    Is that the only color lipstick that she wears? I like the floral dress, but she needs some color on her lips. And the hair is a mess.

  2. LoriK

    On the first dress I think both the hair and the sash are throwing it off. The dress looked better without the sash and the hair is just country-fried tragic.

    On the second dress, if she was singing Two Black Cadillacs then she was basically dressed as the widow who killed her husband.

    • Lindsay

      Yes, I like that H made that reference, because Carrie WAS singing Two Black Cadillacs, which is about a woman who kills her cheating husband!

  3. lor

    Unfortunately, the floral dress looks as if she’s wearing a Kleenex box.

  4. Michelle

    You will be so happy to know that that’s exactly what her latest song is about. Well, she never specifies whether or not the murderous wife is young, but yeah. Dead on.

  5. val.

    The floral pattern is just too BIG for such a small girl. I think that’s why Taylor Swift could probably pull it off better.

    • Erin

      Agreed — the scale of the pattern is what makes it look wonky. The giant bloom across her thighs throws the aesthetic off.

  6. hillary l.

    Girlfriend needs lipstick. I’d pick Nars’ Manhunt, because the nude lip and the blonde makes her too washed out to compete with the dress (which was one of my favorites from the Resort collections).

  7. Tiffany

    I think the flower dress would have looked a lot better with pulled back hair and a pop of lipstick. The flowers work for me here, but that hair is so awful.

  8. Corriner

    I covet almost all bold-patterned floral gowns (Mila Kunis’s SAG award dress from a few years ago), so really love this.

    However, it’s definitely not right on her. The bodice is too big and the whole thing is smothering her.

  9. Goldfish

    I cart a smoke machine around to use it in all the places you named, and more. In my case, it’s to camouflage a cankles issue I have (a smoke machine works beautifully for this purpose). Could the same be the case with Ms. Underwood?

  10. Art Eclectic

    The placement of that LARGE petaled flower over her vaginal region is more than a bit unfortunate. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

    • Sally

      Exactly. Liked this when I saw it on Yahoo or something this morning but the first thing I noticed here is that her lady parts seem to have their own fireworks display going on.

    • Nancy

      Thank goodness I am not the only person to see this! LOL! I thought I was really weird- which I may still be!

  11. Pinga

    It’s the placement of the giant, unfolding flower right over her crotch that I find distracting. The whole thing is very . . . yonic, in a Georgia O’Keefe kind of way.

    • Goldfish

      Now that you have led me to see it, I will never be able to unsee it…

      • Katharine

        Yep, that’s all I see here. “Peer…. into my LADYFLOWER.”

        Her hair was my hair in 1986. When I was starting high school. I don’t think it looks any better on her in 2013, although the lack of giant bug-eye glasses with pink frames IS an improvement.

  12. qwertygirl

    I just think there’s so very much THERE there. Too much so.

  13. Anita

    The photo-realism of the floral dress makes me think she still hasn’t gotten over that white “projection” dress she wore for her Grammy performance. I’d probably like it better were it not so reminiscent of that, though I’d still think it’s a bit much for her petite frame.

    Don’t get me started on the hair. She probably paid someone a bundle to come up with that, and mine looks better when I do it myself…and I have zero talent at fixing hair.

  14. Mongerel

    Girl…your petals are gaping.

  15. christine christine

    ALLEGEDLY killed her husband you guys. Plus doesn’t the song imply the mistress could have killed him too? Anyway, I thought her dress looked like the lampshade from Christmas Story even though it’s black. It acted like a lampshade.

    • Mai

      I thought the song implied they conspired to kill him together? The staging was less than subtle, did we need the actual Cadillacs on stage?

      • LoriK

        Yeah. The strong very strongly implies, but does not say flat out, that the wife and the mistress got together and murder him.

        I don’t have control over the radio at work so I have heard that song way too many times.

  16. Stefanie

    Okay so call me crazy but something about this says “Bridal” to me. I cant pinpoint why but it does.

  17. alice

    I agree the balance is off. Her neck looks short, her shoulders look hunched. Maybe bad posture but the hair has a lot to do with it

  18. goldfish

    The hair! She cut it; it’s not an updo. She’s strugging. I do think she’s pregnant.

    • qwertygirl

      But then is that a wig or some ez-extensions thing in the black dress? Because her hair is long there.

  19. Caroleena Stantonova

    Perhaps her feet fell off. Didn’t see her feet/shoes in any of the pics. hmmmm

  20. Bella

    That flower really is distracting. It looks deeply meaningful.

  21. Jennifer O.

    The wife and the mistress conspire to murder. I remember watching this, and I like Carrie Underwood, but I just thought Reba did this and did it better. I also thought people could see up that black dress.

  22. foo

    I like the dress, with the exception of the huge pale pink which looks like it is smuggling fetuses. (Which goes with your guess and probably is why that image is in my head) It would work better without that flower on someone not 6′ tall. Also, lipstick that is a color and a good fitting. Maybe a dark red belt to not cut pattern in half. And much better hair.

    PS- Your smoke machine comments made me laugh. I used to joke that I needed one for bad date exits. (No awkward goodbyes or “I’ll call you…””, just a tasteful billow of chilled smoke) Everyone needs a smoke machine!

  23. Vandalfan

    You mean some of you folks here at Fug Madness actually listen to Country and Western music? (Alleged genre, indeed) Y’all never fail to surprise me.

    Dress, beautiful, bodice, too big for her, makeup and hair, unforgivable.

    • Kathryn F.

      I didn’t think the “alleged” genre comment was a crack at country music, but rather pointing out that Taylor Swift’s music isn’t really truly country anymore (was it ever?). I like Swifty and I like country, but when I want to hear some country, I bust out my Emmylou.

  24. The Classy Cubicle

    This is exactly the face I made in my first grade school photo. It’s the my-mom-dressed-me-in-hideous-florals-that-I-hate-but-am-still-forced-to-smile-right-now face.

    The Classy Cubicle

  25. lynn

    just too much pattern and too prominently placed. ..

  26. Helen

    Can she just not carry that much dress?

    No, no she cannot. Underwood is very pretty, but this bold dress (which, in and of itself, I love) requires height and presence. Also, hair and makeup, both disastrous, but the dress wouldn’t work on her anyway.

    The black dress, I think works for her.

  27. witjunkie

    That gaping maw of a flower just overpowers what was otherwise a cool dress. I get maybe that with the hair she wanted it big to go with the big of the flowers – so her head didn’t look freakishly small – but she should have just left it down. Or: Not worn that.

  28. Joemama

    “My smoke machine is running out of smoke! Hang on while I set up my back-up smoke machine to create ambiance while filling up my primary smoke machine…” He-he. Good stuff.

  29. Helen

    I got it, I know who would look great in this! Katherine Heigl.

  30. Squirrel!

    Hair = bad.
    Nude lipstick = not good.
    Peony at the forefront = just too big.
    The dress otherwise = pretty!

  31. Catherine

    “It’s cute! It’s like a little clue.”

    I get excited when Sleepless in Seattle is referenced. :)

  32. Gigi

    I think she needs to be taller and/or extremely striking.

  33. nobody much

    I’m disappointed. No trial jokes? no defense/prosecutors?
    and yeah, the print is pretty, but too big for her.

  34. Daenerys

    That one flower on the front is just too big. It overpowers the dress and then that overpowers her. And a neater hairstyle and lipstick with some colour wouldn’t hurt either.

  35. Kris M

    It’s just too much pattern/colour for a little blonde lady. A brunette could carry it.

  36. Fashion Maven

    I hate this dress. Hate it hate it hate it. Ugh. It would look hideous even as an apron or bedspread. She is gorgeous. This is wrong.

  37. RabiesChic

    The dress is awesome. I’m thinking Rooney Mara could pull this off beautifully. It’s just not a “happy blonde girl” dress…

  38. Evangeline

    I agree with all of you who say the flowers are just too big and overpowering. I feel like if you stood too close to her, those flowers would just jump out and swallow you up whole. I’m not understanding her hair either.

  39. Holly Hamilton

    Hmmm, I have read the hate, but, I love this. The colors, the dress, even the hair.
    I like the contrast to the look in Two Black Cadillac’s in which she did wear red shiny lipstick.
    I understand the need to examine, critique everything but overall in the world of bad fashion, this is fine. I am much more bored with Miranda Lambert who wears the same dress all the time.

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    The red carpet outfit & styling are a disaster! But, I love the performance dress and she’s styled beautifully! So, FUG & FAB!

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