ACM Awards Fug Carpet, Shakira in Zuhair Murad

Because when I think “country music,” I think SHAKIRA. Okay, okay: She’s got a duet with Blake Shelton out right now, so I’ll allow it. I’ll also allow it because as much as I am someone who (as you know) complains about ALMOST LITERALLY EVERYTHING, that is not the kind of thing that irks me. Go to whatever awards show you want! I wish there would be MORE cross-awards show pollination, and the more rando the better. Send The Band Perry to the Emmys! Make Bryan Cranston attend the MTV Music Awards! Force Katy Perry to go to the Tonys and just sit there silently and listen to other people sing! Everyone should go everywhere and ideally wearing something HIDEOUS.  THIS COUNTS!

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (31):

  1. fiatluxury

    ugh to that peacock/teal number (pretty color, but….). Because what every girl longs for is a dress that makes her abs look quilted.

  2. Stefanie

    OH NO. This is bad. Really bad. Im going to say something nice though: The color is great on her.

  3. Kate

    Her hips don’t lie but that dress sure does.

  4. Heidi the Hick

    sigh… her hair is epic… that’s all I got.

  5. Lizzy

    The first dress looks like something you’d pick up from the “Farscape” wardrobe trailer.

    The second dress is just NO unless she was doing a cover of Reba’s “Fancy.”

  6. Ruth

    What a poorly made dress. You can see some of the teal under the lining through the bubble(?) in the closeup. It really isn’t flattering.

  7.  Ashley

    Her hair looks amazing but why would you wear it down with this dress? It’s covering up all the interesting parts! Oh well, small blessings.

  8. TaraMisu

    That teal thing is bad. It’s poorly made and well lets be honest, it’s ugly.
    SHE on the other hand is lovely. I want her hair.

  9. Sarah

    I like the color, I appreciate the idea of ooooh beautiful butterfly, but OMG TRYPOPHOBIC NIGHTMARE FROM HELL.

    She looks horribly diseased through my issues-laden eyes. Never really what one is going for, least of all when one is otherwise looking lovely.

  10. Meggiemoo

    She has real country hair goin’ on, that is for sure.

  11. JJPP

    Maybe the dress is Activia commercial themed. This is one of the most depressing things ever:

  12. HelenBackAgain

    I actually love the butterfly dress in concept, but the execution is lacking. It’s made for someone taller and needed to be scaled down by a tailor – illusion netting is not so illusory when it’s sagging and bunching because there’s too much material in the middle! And some trouble should have been taken, especially with such an elaborate fabric, to make the different parts of it marry, or at least look vaguely acquainted, on the sides.

    Make those fixes, and put her hair up (it’s obscuring the dress), and I’d unabashedly love it, y’all, I really would!

    The red thing onstage is kinda… strip-club waitress. Do not like.

  13.  Annie E

    Wow, her face is good, though.

    • HelenBackAgain

      I know! Shakira’s always been very pretty, but I think her looks are maturing just wonderfully. She looks better and better.

  14. Maggiecate

    It’s a great colour, but oh dear, say noes to the hose…

    Any other fabric solution could have been stunning, but that’s horribly unflattering.

  15.  WHAT

    The scaly skin parts make me feel sick to my stomach!!! Or is my lunch just not sitting well? This is not good!!! I reject the last look and don’t know why and don’t care to figure out why but it might have to do with tthe bad aftertaste the scaly skin is leaving me with.

  16.  WHAT

    Gah why am I still thinking about this? Apparently I’m really offended by it.

  17.  WHAT

    Ok ok I’ve moved past it now and now it’s all totally funny to me. That fug took me to new depths.

  18. Fuh Ugh

    Yes, fug, but … it’s a ridiculous dress, but she somehow manages to rock it. There is probably not a single other person on the planet who could manage to look as good as she does in it.

  19. Gypsy Danger

    I think Shakira is pretty great. These outfits aren’t, but this is exactly how I expect her to look.

  20. H.C.

    Funny enough, while I don’t think SHAKIRA when I think country, I do think country when I think of SHAKIRA (given how folksy her voice sounds when she does her crossover songs half the time.)

  21.  Chris P

    The red number is…exactly what I would imagine Country!Shakira in.

    The teal…thing is like the larval version of Jessica White’s…thing. I mean, at least I can figure out how Shakira put it on, but I can’t imagine how she got it on without getting a finger caught in one of the holes.

    More importantly, the construction is SHIT. Like, there’s like bits of illusion netting, you can see the edges of the dress fabric peeking into the cutouts on her leg, and I’m beginning to wonder whether she sewed this herself. (Apparently, being a Mensa member and a world-famous pop star does not mean you are also a talented seamstress.) I’ve used this analogy before (with regards to the Royal Nipples), but she looks cheap in terms of Forever XXI bargain bin.

    As a side note, if you haven’t heard her duet with Blake, it’s…actually not terrible. Although, I am not crazy about Blake Shelton as he seems to be the Rent-A-Country of 2014.

  22. Joanie

    Aren’t “giant butterfly crashed into the windshield of her body” lyrics to one of her songs?

  23. Bambi Anne Dear

    I didn’t mind the teal dress until I saw the closeup. Ugh!

  24. Sajorina

    I’m not mad at any of it! I just think she’s so COOL, she can get away with anything!

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