Teen Choice Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Shoes

Because what better way to close out a summer Monday than with footwear you either don’t want, or can’t afford? I’M SO HELPFUL.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (48):

  1. Alex G

    I love that these “up close and personal” shots show us that they’re all humans! Streaky fake-tan lines? Check! Toe cleavage? Check! Veins? Check! There’s probably even BLOOD in some of those veins ;)

    •  megopachego

      I don’t know why, but I can’t help but read this with Louise’s (from Bob’s Burgers) voice in my head. And I find it all the more hilarious.

    •  StealthECat

      Ha! I was just going to comment about the toe cleavage! So wrong, so so wrong.

  2. ohsohappy

    A SHOE REVIEW!! This is fun, fun, fun!

  3. JJPP

    Wow, there was surprisingly little that I liked here. I would be less harsh if so many of them didn’t look like they were incredibly uncomfortable and ill-fitting.

  4. Mina

    Now that we have seen the side of Lea Michele’s shoes we can conclude they are still wrong for her dress.

  5.  LoriK

    I was hoping Cat Deeley’s shoes would be in this. They were horrible flesh-tone, peep toe things that made her look like she has incredibly ugly feet. I have no idea how she put those things on and didn’t realize they were a mistake.

    •  Looly

      I zoomed in on her feet. It’s not the shoes doing that, I think she just has jacked up feet/toes.

  6. ohsohappy

    The heavy lucite heel with a leather ankle shield reminds me of Kate Beckinsale in Underworld…if she was going to wear a sandal to kick some Lycan arse.

  7. Jenz

    Sasha Peiterse’ shoes… wtf…

    Some of these are really cute… I like Sarah Hyland’s shoes. However, I’m not feeling Hailee Steinfeld’s shoes. Are they leather AND suede?

    • themis

      Sasha’s were shooves, lacy shooves-! Auggggh, so awful.

    • Joanie

      I liked Sarah’s shoes, too! Best of the bunch! (Awfully easy to be best of that bunch, but they’re still really cute)

      Too much fug otherwise.

    • Lori

      You should have seen the face I made when I saw Sasha’s shoes. I’m guessing it looked hilarious; I was horrified.

  8. Tiffany

    The heels of Candace Cameron’s shoes make me think of orange sugar wafers!

  9. kindakute

    Not so much turtleneck for the feet as a dickie. lol. Remember those hideous things?
    Most of these shoes just make me sad for the world. Except- The Metallic and The Loubs!

  10.  HelenBackAgain

    I am in love with the leather-jacket shoes on Lindsay Stirling!

    Those Casadeis on Hailee Steinfeld are pretty in and of themselves, but make the wearer’s foot look deformed.

    The Kurt Geigers on Nina Dobrev look like the manufacturer put in a nail to stabilize the heel, and then forgot Geiger’s actual heel instructions.

    Lots of too-high heels, causing feet to slip forward out of shoes that are in fact the right sole lengths. Designers – quit that.

  11. Bizzeemamanj

    This is the first slideshow in a long time where I didn’t have shoe envy. Not a single pair I swooned over…

  12.  Tracey

    I liked the first ones… the leather and zipper shoes… and that’s it. Often when you show the close-up celebrity shoes it’s like opening the curtain in Oz… they are not glorious and sexy as they appear from far away with their outfits, but ill-fitting, awkward and uncomfortable-looking. The women’s feet aren’t ugly but caught up in those fashion-obsessed crazy-expensive shoes, they look like they are in torture chambers.

  13.  Sharon

    Stoopid shoes are no fun.

  14. Lily

    Honestly that first pic is what I would expect on the feet of Prince George’s nanny. Actually, make that PRINCE WILLIAM’S nanny. Lindsay Stirling is WAY to young for this look.

  15. Sandra

    These shoes are all pretty boring. Kinda like the whole of idea of Teen Choice Awards, IMO. 90 damn categories? Seriously?? I rather suspect that most awards shows are an embiggened version of Homecoming Court, but none more so than these.

  16. Kate (formerly Kate)

    The zipper shoes would have made me swoon in grade 9. That’s some serious 80s realness, right there. Wear with Madonna’s outfit from the Like a Virgin video. Win.

    Other than that, too many pointy toes (if those are coming back, I’m not going with them. I managed to escape the first time without bunions, and I didn’t know heels didn’t have to hurt until the pointy toe shoe went away). And I’ve decided those sandals with the single strap over the toe are hella unflattering on anyone. I’m not one of those people who are against feet, but that strap makes any set of toes look like hideous sea worms poking out of a crevice.

  17. KateeBar

    Ooh, I can contribute! I have the Kurt Geiger shoes (sadly, in black, not pink). They are surprisingly comfortable. I mean not walk Disneyland all day comfortable, but I did pretty well wearing them several hours at a cocktail event. Even lugged thirty pounds of wine in them. In bottles; I didn’t actually drink enough wine to gain thirty pounds. I think.

  18. annabel

    This whole slideshow just made me cringe. I just read Born to Run, about the Mexican mountain-dwelling long-distance runners, which was an awesome read, BTW. Anyway, I am not one for any sort of uncomfortable shoe, Keen and Dansko are my brands of choice, but that book really made me think about how we should all really look after our feet, without them we would never be able to get off the couch!

  19. Alex G

    I was a bridesmaid last month and went from my usual keds or flats lifestyle to three-inch-heels for 12 hours on the day of the wedding – and then I woke up the next day with tingly toes on my left foot which are STILL TINGLING and then I went running and got a stunning case of tendonitis, so now I’m just sitting here feeling envious of people who can wear something other than slippers…

  20. Francesca

    These shoes are super chic!

  21. Terry

    I can’t stand when a pump is cut so low that the spaces between the toes show. It makes me feel like that shoe could come off at any moment with just the wrong wiggle of the big toe.

    •  HelenBackAgain

      That style DOES come off that easily.

    •  Sharon

      That is toe cleavage.
      Wardrobe malfunctions DO happen.
      Not nearly as scandalous as the kind that happen between the shoulders and the knees, though.

  22. Lori

    Someone seriously needs to take away Mary Murphy’s self tanner. She’s reached oompa loompa levels of orange.

    Remember way back when GFY had a celebrity tan warning system? What was that called? Was it all guys or just mostly guys? Someone with more brain power than I have this morning please help!

    • FormerLibraryChick

      I think the celebrity tan warning system was a parody of the Department of Homeland Security color warning system. When DHS quit using Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, etc., I think GFY quit bothering with it too. I remember it was used primarily with males when we had it, though.

  23. Fashionista in the O

    I love the shoes!!


  24.  Alyssa

    I really didn’t get much shoe envy from this slideshow, unfortunately. Although I do love a good metallic heel! But, I’m really here just to brag. I won a pair of black Stuart Weitzman Platswoon pumps yesterday on Ebay for $30 and I’m really excited for them to get here! I was looking for the Corkswoons, but thanks to Kate, they’re all a little out of my price range still.

  25. Shannon

    The Sasha Pietrse shoe looks like ugly wallpaper. Why does Chelsea Kanes left foot look fine, but her right foot looks weird? It’s like they fit on the left, but had to be shoved on the right. And Kylie Jenner’s are too big. Space in the back and big toe hanging off the front – no bueno.

  26. Clara

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I try on a pair of shoes and a) my foot slides forward so there is a gap at the heel and my toes are pushed over the shoe; b) the straps have my feet or ankles in a death grip; c) the only way I can stand up in them is to do the pee dance, i DON’T BUY THEM. But then I’m 50.

  27. cynicalsmirk

    Dear Lucy Hale;
    From someone who thinks you are pretty and adorable….Please stop wearing ankle straps. Especially thick ones. You are too petite. They stumpify your legs.

  28. fromCanada

    For anyone else who likes the #2 style, google 1920s shoes. You will want a wardrobe of vintage shoes (which I, sadly, cannot afford).

  29. G

    Wait, what, Sasha Pieterse is wearing SHOES with illusion netting??

  30. sema4dogz

    I do not understand how the Kane kiddy’s shoes stay on, even to take one step …

  31. mochaleet

    The shoe reviews are my favorite on the site. I can never remember who was wearing what, so can’t recall what the commenters are talking about, but I love ‘em! Keep ‘em coming! Or maybe a new blog, called “WhatShoeWant?” mwa mwa mwa….

  32.  LoriP

    All I see here is a lot of foot problems: existing, developing, future. Feet are not meant to be tortured like this.

  33. luxsword

    Poor toes.