Dude. I feel you. I… I just can’t do it anymore. I just can’t. Anyone who decides to arrive at the Grammys in an egg obviously has an unusually powerful and grossly all-encompassing need for attention, and here’s why: An awards show is not about one person. It’s about — well, let’s say at least a hundred people, about 80 of whom are way, way, way, way less famous than Lady Gaga is, some of whom are only known amongst polka enthusiasts. If Gaga decided to open her own concert in an egg, then more power to her. A Lady Gaga concert is about and for Lady Gaga, and she can and should court all the attention she can. And, trust, it’s not like I think the Grammys are the equivalent of the Nobel Prize or whatever, but I suspect everyone who was nominated for one, and who got to walk the red carpet, got pretty excited about their big night. And then this stupid Egg Being Carried In By Minions routine completely and totally drew every single bit of red carpet attention away from EVERYONE ELSE. To my mind, that’s not performance art — because it’s not being done to make a larger artistic point. The point it’s making is, “I’M HERE IN AN EGG LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME ME ME ME ME ME HOW ELSE CAN I FOLLOW A MEAT DRESS?” Honestly, I just think it’s bratty.
Of course, she couldn’t just stop with the egg. Please pop into the slideshow and follow along. I’ll try not to get all CAPSY on you.