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    One of the beans just walked up to me, looked at this photo, and said, "Just like you, Mommy." Indeed. If I don't live my life in puckered corsetry, a topknot you could punch while screaming, "NO WHAMMIES," and a dress that gives me sausage boob, then I am not truly ME.

    Fergie was on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve Starring Ryan Seacrest Coming To You On His Fourth Network, If You Don't Include Any Other Station That Featured Him During The Olympics (the count: NBC, FOX, E!, and now ABC). She hosted the Los Angeles portion of the festivities, which always looks almost as awful as Times Square -- almost, because I assume it's at least easier to get to a bathroom at this one, but I suspect the prospect of cocktails is just as grim unless you're packing a hip flask.