Fug the Show: Gossip Girl, The Grand Finale


I  wanted to begin the slideshow way I had hoped the series would’ve ended: Georgina Sparks, wearing somebody’s hand mirror on her neck, staring with narrowed eyes at some unknown target. I was praying for a spinoff — The Georgina Monologues, or Sparks & Recreation. Anything. Sigh. Instead, the show reveals the non-burning secret: WHO IS GOSSIP GIRL? I honestly always liked that the show just treated her as omniscient evil and never tried to make much of a mystery out of her identity, but I know they had to do SOMETHING, and apparently, the Seinfeld-style ending where they’re all left in prison for the good of society wasn’t on the table.

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Comments (47):

  1. Annie E
    0

    I had many reactions to this episode, but I’ll just name one: they didn’t even TRY to make everyone look approximately 5 years older (judging by the age of Chuck & Blair’s kid and assuming they waited a little bit before getting pregnant). It was strange.

    Oh, and Michelle Trachtenberg is the best. I indeed would never have expected this from Dawn Summers.

  2. cathy
    0

    i just laughed my ass off when i imagined all the sassy stuff gg said in penns voice :D

  3. Katty McNiley Ripley
    0

    Thoughts on the series finale:

    - I REALLY need a Jack and Georgina spin-off: “Scheeming with Jack & Georgina”, with special Dorota appearences…

    - WTF hair people?! Jack Bass death possum and all the terrible male wigs in flashback… (did Ben Affleck really had plugs? More than once?)

    - That wink, how cheesy…

    - It needed more little J, and none Vanessa. BTW: is she living in the 70′s? That kitchen set was terrible…

    - I wish in the end, all of this was a dream that Dorota had while in a coma in a KGB hospital

  4. patricia
    0

    I was waiting ALL week for this.
    Blair’s Elie Saab was fracking delicioso! Serena’s Ice Dancing wedding gown was not. AND did anyone else want to demand that their future husbands look like Chuck Bass on their wedding day. I NEVER thought I would say this but Powder Blue and White suits are back in! Gonna miss the GG most of all.

    • Lori
      0

      I did not blink at the minty lapels and bow tie, but I did do a double take at the shiny peach tuxedo shoes. WTH!

  5. TrayTray
    0

    Jack Bass looks that terrible in Dexter too – high, hungover, drunk, and with terrible hair. I don’t get it.

    • Bdel
      0

      Desmond Harrington said in an interview recently that he’s been running and laying off the junk food for a while – not sick, not a junkie, just clean livin’, man. That doesn’t explain the hair though. He’s been rocking that on Dexter all season.

  6. Jessica
    +1

    I love the idea that Georgina and Blair are now in-laws, though. That must make Blair insane. Hilariously insane.

  7. Eliza Bennett
    0

    Every last plot point in the finale made me stabby. Except for Jack’s storyline, EVERYDAMNTHING.

  8. Stefanie
    0

    Okay, I admit it. I don’t watch this show (and never did) so I only sorta know whats going on based on these recaps and I need to know this: That guy in the mint green tux. Does he play the role really straight because he doesn’t come off that way in pictures..at all.

    • Mishka
      0

      Not only does he play it straight, he’s the biggest ladies’ man on the show. His outfits are freaking glorious.

  9. C
    0

    I actually read on E!Online that the Vanessa cameo was filmed on the set of “The Carrie Diaries” (which is also a Josh Schwartz/Stephanie Savage show), which is why the kitchen is so dated looking.

    I will miss Georgina most of all. I loved that scheming ho, even if she got a bit defanged over the years. And I’m sad Juliet was only a cameo because I really wanted those two to meet.

    • Joey
      0

      “Vanessa, who looks typically awful and is apparently now living in the Dharma Initiative” is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Thank you H&J for this amazing recap.

  10. John Cage
    0

    Given that most of the writing from the last few seasons seems to have been done by pulling randomly from a deck of cards with characters, plot points, and emotions on them… I appreciated that this final episode was almost convincingly coherent.

    • Heather
      0

      I credit Stephanie Savage for that — she’s the series co-creator, and she wrote it.

  11. Alyssa
    0

    The first time Jenny shows up, she’s going up the stairs and I think the bag she’s carrying has a J on it with Waldorf Designs below it. I was thinking she has her own line under the Waldorf brand.

  12. Lisa
    0

    I loved the flashbacks because they all had their original noses. Georgina was obviously the best and it always had to be Dan, because it had to be someone close to them willing to blog their drama. The age of B&C’s kid was weird, like he was practically shaving age for it only having been 5 years. I guess all in all it was pretty meh, even Serena’s fugly wedding dress. I just didn’t care that much about Dan and Serena ending up together, but Blake had to remain the star even though we all know it was Leighton.

    • Heather
      0

      Well, the party flashbacks were reshoots, so unless they built them with HEAVY CGI, I think they were current noses. But the headband one and Chuck’s Caesar cut was from an episode..

      • Ms. Chanandler Bong
        0

        Oh yeah, the flashback in the ep was horrendous, but I meant the first hour when they were showing those little clips.

  13. Ann
    0

    Given my love of all things shiny, I thought Serena’s meringue wedding dress was gorgeous. This is why I should never be allowed near fashion design.

  14. Suzie
    0

    My favorite part was the Kristen Bell and Rachel Bilson scene. :)

  15. Brenna
    0

    I think my favorite reaction I read to the Dan reveal was “That’s why Dan’s hair is so big; it’s full of secrets!”

    I am giggling myself silly though thinking of Dan signing off every post saying “You know you love me, xoxo, GG”

  16. Irina
    0

    Is no one bothered that we never found out what was in the huge box Georgina was carrying to the wedding? I’m going crazy trying to figure out what could have been in it.

  17. M
    0

    Thank you for pointing out the weirdness and not-so-cool Lily and William ending. Aside from the ones you mentioned he also cheated on her and got her SISTER pregnant.

    • Froney
      0

      The parents on this show totally got shafted at the end of the season, particularly poor Rufus. I felt bad that Lily only said a word or two (hoping she gets more work because her real life sounds very sad). Speaking of real life–do you think it was hard for Mr. Badgely to fake marry his really married ex-girlfriend? It almost seemed like his extra sadness this season was in opposition to her radiance…

      • M
        0

        I know they’re actors and all, but during all Serena and Dan scenes this season, especially towards the end all I kept thinking was “AWKWARD!”.

        I was in favor of a Serena and Nate ending, but I knew that would never happen. They would have pretty kids, but wow, they would have been dim.

  18. Andrew S.
    0

    I just CANNOT BELIEVE how happy most of the GG fans are about the conclusion we got! One woman married her abusive boyfriend & had a child with him ( who looks closer to 8 that the 4 years old at his oldest that he would have to be in order to be conceived in between the last scene & the 5 year jump) and her best friend married her stalker in an APARTMENT. And then he handed off his stalking tool to another little jerk-off to start the cycle all over again! I wish I never watched this shit show in the first place.

    • Froney
      0

      YES! The idea of Dan as GG makes the whole show sound – - and this makes me sound like a total freak for having unrealistic expectations – - insincere, particularly those early episodes when Dan really did seem like LonelyBoy. Those little balloons of emotional realness have been burst by weird GG posts that I swear if you look back at the show Dan could never have written. I think that’s an issue with a lot of shows–no one on the writing team actually knows where it’s going (LOST) and then there is this enormous pressure (self-created) to explain something, when in fact all the interest comes from the enigma! And as for marrying the STALKER–yes! Call the police! What will they tell their potential children?

      • Mishka
        0

        Y’all are so right, but as bad as the show was all season, I wasn’t even surprised at how terrible the last episode was. What a waste. Blair’s wedding dress and Georgina were the only bright spots to me.

    • Aria
      0

      Ugg, the age of that kid bugged the heck out of me. I wish they’d had a cute two year old playing Henry.

  19. Tricia
    0

    Thank you SO much for providing a detailed recap. I didn’t even have to watch the show this season – I got to wrap it up with your summary! I can’t believe how terrible it got!

  20. Bea
    0

    Movie trivia! Anyone else spot that the house Dan & Serena marry in ( ie. the Bass household) is the same house that Meryl Streep has in The Devil Wears Prada?… Oddly fitting?

    • Mishka
      0

      Gasp! I did not recognize that! And I’ve watched that movie about a million times, too.

  21. Martha
    0

    In response to the question of whether Dan as GG tracks at all, I offer this:

    http://ggmemes.tumblr.com/post/38293060260

  22. me
    0

    Stopped watching this show after it crossed its own standards of ridiculous-ness yet kept tabs through the amazing recaps…this one was just as interesting and witty as all the others..thank you!

  23. Yes please
    0

    Serena’s wedding dress is the most amazing wedding gown I’ve ever seen. And the earrings killed it too. I applaud the genius who designed that look!

  24. Rachel
    0

    Lisa Loeb is married, which means Rufus officially wrecked two marriages throughout the course of the show. Maybe he did deserve Lily.

  25. Anna Steiner
    0

    Thank you so much for that comment about Vanessa and the Dharma Initiative. It’s the best thing anyone will ever say about this episode.

  26. Tamburlaine
    0

    Ah, fantastic. And I say that never ever having watched GG. My goodness, though, Penn Badgley looks much better without hair (in his crew-cut days).

  27. Aria
    0

    I hate that they identified GG – the books never did, and to me, it wasn’t important. And now, it just makes everything weird. I have been watching old GG on Netflix [but jumping arournd seasons and eps]. In one where Blair meets Prince Louis’s mother, she says GG has been writing about her since she was 14 years old. Does that fit the timeline that Dan admitted to??

    • Mishka
      0

      I don’t think it does. Surely they weren’t 14 at the first party he went to and saw Serena, and that’s supposedly when he got the idea.

      • lefty
        0

        He said he started in 9th grade, when most people turn from 14 to 15.

        • Mishka
          0

          Ah, I didn’t catch that. So it’s just everything else about Dan being GG that doesn’t make sense :)

  28. caryha
    0

    According to Stephanie Savage, they’ve known Dan was GG from the very beginning and even edited the very first episode because an original scene in it left test audiences thinking it was him. So presumably the writers have had this mind throughout (unless just Stephanie and Josh knew from day one and kept the writers in the dark with edits where needed throughtout?). This makes me want to go back and watch the whole thing over again just to see if it tracks, but I’m guessing I won’t…