Fug or Fab: Alicia Keys


fug-or-fab

On first glance nothing struck me as particularly out of the ordinary about this gown.

It’s strapless, it’s black, it’s feathery… it’s no different than 99 percent of what’s in The Widow Longoria’s closet, except that I guess the more I look at this one, the more the fabric in the front looks like a very drapey wang. But then Alicia turned around, and things changed.

… That thing doesn’t look like it was meant to go there. So why is she wearing C3PO’s guitar strap as a belt?

WHY?

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Comments (30):

  1. yvetterene
    0

    If the dress was black all the way around, then I could live with that belt. However, the color change and the way the dress is made in the back does not go with that belt at all. At least in my humble opinion.

  2. Jill
    0

    How odd?! It does look like someone was being modest and didn’t want the scoopy back on the dress but strapless and all, it would be an impossible feat of engineering to keep the dress up without the white back bib. The belt looks like an afterthought to keep everything held in place.

  3. Kate
    0

    not gonna lie, the flesh colored part looks a little like an ace bandage. Maybe her back hurt?

  4. Stefanie
    0

    One time I was in a wedding with a bride who demanded all the girls order a dress that only went to a size 12 – yeah it didn’t go over too well. Anyway to add more space to the bust a seamstress added a panel of stretchy fabric that ended up looking just like that.

    Basically, what I’m saying is I think her child feeding boobs were too large for the dress, leading to a Make It Work moment. Alicia deserves so much better than this.

  5. bex
    0

    The dress just looks kind of unfinished. Like the designer missed the deadline and told her to deal.

  6. Gigi
    0

    It’s a beige back dickey!

  7. Pink Coat
    0

    I agree with Stefanie. My first thought was the original didn’t fit her so they added on this piece to make the dress bigger. Although, if I was her and had oodles of money, I would’ve just chosen another dress instead of ‘making it work’. meh!

  8. Peri
    0

    I just want to know if she is able to let her arms hang naturally at her side without injury!

  9. Geemee
    0

    This dress is so ill-fitting, I don’t know why she chose to wear it. Favor for a designer friend?

  10. Kristin
    0

    looks like zip up spanx in the back.

  11. Peony
    0

    Maybe all the backtaxes she has to help Swizz Beatz pay meant she couldn’t afford that one last 1/4 yard of black fabric?

  12. Chicklet
    0

    I’ve stopped questioning anything Alicia Keys wears. It keeps my brain from getting charley horses.

  13. Aria
    0

    even if it was a “make it work” situation, why not black for the insert? The back bib made a perfectly acceptable dress into “Just no” territory.

  14. chenry
    0

    I agree-looks like an emergency addition. And the belt is a total WTF. Also, I can definitely see her granny panties.

  15. Sherri
    0

    @GiGi Beige Back Dickey for the win!

    Sorry, I can’t even SEE the belt because of the VISIBLE ON PURPOSE ATTACHED TO THE DRESS FOUNDATION GARMENT THING. My mother had one JUST that color, with the zipper and the boning and everything. The front of this dress was in inoffensive yawn, but the turn around fug is IMMENSE. I have a hate.

  16. Evalyn
    0

    Visible corset and a butt ruffle. Please, no. By the end of the evening, I bet her elbows were bleeding from that stupid belt.

  17. Cecily
    0

    Oh dear, AWFUL! Momsen corset meets Widow L dress accessorized with Gladiator headband as belt.

  18. Evalyn
    0

    AND if you dont’ want folks to see your Tramp Stamp, don’t wear a backless dress.

  19. jess
    0

    It looks like they put some sort of horrendo spanx gusset in so it would fit, right?

  20. vandalfan
    0

    Gigi for the win! And this belt is Gaga’s buttockial spikes, all gilded.

  21. nichole
    0

    I’m sorry, I giggle every time I read “the Widow Longoria”

  22. anny
    0

    There’s a little safety chain on that belt. Just what do you reckon she’s trying to strap in back there?

  23. julie Walsh
    0

    The dress is awful, but what struck me is how fat she looks. How about loosing some weight (where has her elbow gone)? Not much, just getting fit.

  24. Spacelamb
    0

    I hate the dress; the fit is all wrong. I love the belt, though (shiny!). It would look great on a different outfit.

  25. mahastee
    0

    I’ll give it a Pass, just because it’s an improvement on what she usually wears.

    Also, if you could work “concrete jungle wet dream tomato” into a post, that would be awesome.

  26. Stefanie
    0

    @julie Walsh – Way harsh Tai.

  27. Rose
    0

    Belt? What belt? I’m more concerned about her back brace! When did she hurt herself? I mean, this is the only plausible explanation, right? Even figure skaters would surely frown upon that…thing. Sigh. They could’ve at least made it black to blend in with the rest of the dress. And they could’ve NOT used The Most Obvious Zipper in the Universe Ever.

    And no way is she fat – that dress just makes her look 10x wider because it does not fit. It’s bulky AND lumpy…not a helpful combination.

  28. una
    0

    Her stylists are trying to find new ways to deter people from looking at her wide hips and large bootay. I say this because I know it all to well! I am similarly shaped and its a bitch to find clothes that are flattering! They may have failed on this occasion.

  29. ldl
    0

    Alicia could wear anything and look classy. Looks great on her!

  30. maria
    0

    Maybe it’s an arm-toning belt? She obviously can’t relax her triceps or her deltoids all night for fear of being impaled.