Fugger: Nicole Scherzinger
YES, this is a catsuit:
I just sincerely wish I could be a fly on the wall to observe when people make the life choices that lead to them wearing a catsuit like this out of the house to an event that is not: (a) cat-burgling (b) their job as a stuntperson (c) performing in Vegas as a J Lo impersonator. Because I am sure the words, “it’s so flattering” are never uttered, nor, “but I feel so natural in this,” or “this is just easy” or “I just want to have a good time and not worry about what I’m wearing” or “it’s really easy to pee in this.” I suspect I would overhear, “well, I’m desperate for attention right now,” or “I’m just dying for a yeast infection,” though.
[Photo: PacCoast News]
I generally try to ignore Nicole Scherzinger — other than casually reflecting that it’s interesting to me how much success she’s seemingly had in the UK, and then falling down a Wikipedia Wormhole where I am reminded that she was nominated for a Grammy with The Pussycat Dolls (!), and subsequently they to The Black Eyed Peas for MY HUMPS OF ALL THINGS I DESPAIR FOR HUMANITY. THAT CATEGORY IS INSANE IN WHAT WORLD IS “MY HUMPS” UP AGAINST “I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK”? (Other, I guess, than Songs That Make Me Want to Kill Myself For TOTALLY DIFFERENT REASONS); that she recorded “Don’t Cha” for SimPets in the Sim language (!!); and that she’s broken up with Lewis Hamilton three separate times. But this can not be ignored:
In the parlance of the GFY Glossary: WORDS.
Yes, keep your head down, Nicole.
If you hustle and never look up and don’t talk to anyone, maybe the world will assume you are Kim Kardashian, and she’ll take the blame for your elaborate demi-loincloth.