Fugger: Naomi Watts

Oscars Well Played: Naomi Watts in Calvin Klein


And here comes Naomi Watts, who should’ve won last year for The Impossible, swanning in and showing everyone how it’s done for the second Oscars in a row.

This photo doesn’t do justice to how great she looked. The purse is beautiful, the dress is stunning on her, the lipstick was red (it looks pinkish here, but then, so does the carpet and we all know THAT is red), and the necklace was a perfect choice — I love that, in a passing glance, you might think it’s the collar of the dress. So, sure, maybe Blanchett won an Oscar, but Naomi won AUSTRALIA.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Bulgari “Decades of Glamour” Party


The pre-Oscars parties have BEGUN!

[Photos: WENN, Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Naomi Watts


This dress looks like someone wrapped her in fuchsia snakeskin bandages.

And yet somehow, being in the clutches of twelve Velcro fingers works for her. Yeah, it’s pressing on her chest a little, but only a little, and her skin is freaking luminous. For those of you worried about Hollywood’s dwindling bracelet game, my view is that her entire body looks like a rack of them from an accessories store, so maybe one on her wrist would be a hat on a hat (to mix accessory references)(also, I would accept a hat on a hat, by the way, if it were a Pharrell hat on a Pharrell hat. I’m a little sick of that hat right now, but if a person stacked them, then maybe I’d be back in because that’d be some surrealist Mountie non-realness right there).

In sum: This sucker is weird and looks like she’s being mauled by a cartoon sea creature, but she is making that look gorgeous and so I think I might be in on this. I DID love Finding Nemo, after all.

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[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: AARP’s Movies For Grownups Awards Gala


Well, that event name is  a real mouthful. Also, do people really want to attend an event sponsored by the AARP? It’s not the sexiest organization in the universe. So many questions, you guys.

[Photos: WENN]

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Golden Globes Well Played: Naomi Watts


Between this and her metallic Oscars gown, Naomi Watts is the most reliable silversmith in town.

[Photos: Getty]

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Digufna


Dear Naomi Watts,

You appear to be using the double the allotted amount of ruching approved for this night’s event. Please either change your dress entirely, tailor it immediately so that your mid-section ruching expanse is halved, or, failing those two options, grow three feet. We appreciate your Sexy 40s Luau Hostess theme and have no desire to fundamentally alter it, but we are sure that if you examine your torso, you too will see that Something Weird Has Gone Awry: that is the outgrowth of the misuse of your Ruching Allowance. This, Miss Watts, is why we have regulations.

It’s awkward.

Best Wishes,

The Society for the Protection of Unusual Seaming Techniques (SPUST), Charter 677.

[Photo: Getty]

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