Fugger: Agyness Deyn

Fugs, Fabs, and Fines of Coachella, Weekend One

Dear Coachella,

Thank you for bringing the crazy. Never leave us.


People Who Love The Crazy

[Photos: Getty, WENN, Pacific Coast News, Splash, and Fame/Flynet]


Fugs and Fabs: British Fashion Council Event

Remember when I was JUST saying Hollywood needs to keep having lots of parties? I need to add that it WOULD be okay if they spread them out a little through the week. Just a thought.

[Photos: WENN, Splash]


Agyness Fugn

Man, you don’t realize how awesome a model is until she’s gone. When we started going to Fashion Week, Coco Rocha and Jessica Stam and Agyness Deyn were all over the runways, and it’s not until they unexpectedly pop up to walk in somebody’s show — like when Coco did Zac Posen’s this past season, and she practically had to step over my foot to get off the runway because of where my seat was, and all the dresses basically slid over my shoes and it was kind of fantastic — that you realize their fierceness is greatly missed.

Likewise, I hadn’t realized how much I missed Agyness’s signature sartorial nutbaritude, until she popped up at this event in what could be a really fun pattern but which is instead being used as an overlay for granny panties. But on the bright side, it’s making me hungry for a bowl of spaghetti, and I never look gift carbs in the mouth. So thanks, Agyness! Lunch is SERVED.

[Photo: Getty]


Fug Madness 2010, Round Two: Cher Bracket


“Hey guys, what’s up?

“Me? Oh, not much. Just heading out for dinner and drinks with some friends, wearing my old trusty barbed wired veil, hoop skirt, and panties! You know, just another Tuesday! Yeah, it’s hard to drink through this thing, but as long as someone gives me a series of straws with which to create one SUPER straw and can help me thread it through my barbed wire, I’ll be TOTALLY FINE. It can’t be more challenging than what happened to me the other day:
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Fug Madness 2010, Round One: Cher Bracket


[PLEASE NOTE: Each contestant's archive is linked here at the top of each match-up, for handy review of their past transgressions]

By now, we’re all well versed in the sorts of things Lady Gaga wears to perform:

[Photo: Splash News]

I know this is supposed to be art — and it is, if the visual painting you are doing is of the offspring of Heidi Montag and Sweetums.

But the equally important question, as regards this competition: What does Lady Gaga wear when she’s NOT on stage?

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Fugyness Fugn

If I’m not mistaken, Agyness Deyn here appears to have trimmed her leather mini with carpet samples. 
If the good people at 800-588-2300 EMPIIIIIIIRE ever decide to hire the flooring-sales equivalent of Barker’s Beauties, Agyness should be their first call. She could have an entire wardrobe of these, but decorated with tile, hardwood flooring, and linoleum. Heavy to wear, but when paired with a hot enough sales associate, hella fun to don while it’s being cleaned.

Agyness Fugyn

I was just wondering the other day what happened to model Agyness Deyn here. (By the way, did you know her real name is actually the very y-deprived Laura Hollins? According to Wikipedia, “Deyn’s name was apparently coined to further her modeling career after she consulted her mother’s friend, a numerology expert, who advised her of the most ‘fortuitous’ way to spell the name ‘Agnes’.” I always just assumed her given name WAS Agnes and she was spelling it wackily, and that ergo I would probably be more successful if I started spelling my name, “Jyssykah” but it turns out I should probably start going by, like, “Ethyyll.”) You see, it’s not that I thought she’d retired or anything, I just hadn’t seen her out and about as much wearing, like, neon buckets on her head, or the like. Thank goodness something dragged her out:

Although this…happened last night, I can only presume she’s just blowing through discarded Halloween costumes and this was originally intended to serve as Haute Couture Oliver Extra, or someone who is really, really into those Jack in the Box “Bowl Cut” commercials. But…what’s going on with her FACE?
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