Can’t Stop The Fug


One of my favorite things this week — in an OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS!!! sense, even — has been reading Julieanne Smolinski’s dispatches from the Rihanna 777 debacle. I don’t know if you’ve been keeping up with this, but it seems like (at best) not a great idea to really irritate the journalists you’ve invited on a press tour with you. It also, however, sounds like one of those debacles that makes said journalists really irritable but also a little bit gleeful about how snarky they’re going to get to be when they finally get to file. See: every Heatherette show Heather and I ever attended, and the Richie Rich show two years ago where we almost died but then lived to sit through seven hours of naked interpretative dance (that piece begins, “The experience of attending Richie Rich’s epic clusterfuck of a show on Thursday night may have destroyed us. Arrival to departure, it was a three-hour odyssey — an epic poem full of rage, drag queens, nudity, figure skaters, and, inexplicably, the attendance of a 4-year old child,” and it may be one of my favorite things we have ever written). So now every time I look at Rihanna, I think about how several of my comrades will never be able to hear her name without shuddering:

Which actually, at this point, seems like a fair reaction regardless. I mean, this is kind of horrible and droopy and she looks like someone from the cast of Newsies as costumed by Hefty, but the truth of that matter is that: I am really, really over her.

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Comments (16):

  1. Clarence Beeks
    +1

    I really really wish she’d just disappear for a long time. Her outfits are not edgy, just stupid looking. And her music is awful.

  2. Helen
    0

    This settles it: She really is trying to dress like Justin Bieber.

  3. Stefanie
    0

    Here lately even Rhianna is looking like she’s over Rhianna.

  4. amys
    0

    Commencement exercises at Overexposed University?

  5. Dani
    0

    Yes.

    Rhianna, take a break. A long, rejuvenating, soul-searching break with more massages and facials than booze and weed.

    But still a little booze and some weed, if that’s your thing.

  6. Ailatan
    0

    Is she in costume as a hipster Ebenezer Scrooge?

    • Scouse Helen
      0

      Now I’d have said “hipster Cossack peasant circa 1885″ but I can see where you’re coming from.

  7. Rowynn
    0

    I bet she’s wearing those pants tomorrow so she can have seconds at Thanksgiving dinner. They look like they have an elastic waist.

    • Aj
      0

      Between this and the prison garb, I’m wondering if there isn’t a little (Chris) Brown Bun in the the oven.

      • Art Eclectic
        0

        Elastic waist. Are we sure Stella McCartney had nothing to do with this?

  8. Leah
    0

    Where’s her red-checked scarf?

  9. Kit
    0

    I so feel you on this Jessica. I never thought her music was anything special, but felt *meh* about her until the whole reuniting with Chris Brown thing which certainly made me more aware of her, but in a negative way.

    And now this 777 tour? Reading the Rolling Stone blog and various tweets as well as seeing pictures here and there – well, I am SO. READY. for her to be out of the news.

  10. Ladyblahblah
    0

    Guessing she borrowed this from Stella McCartney?

  11. Lily1214
    0

    Not her best look – but I still think she looks best with red hair.

  12. karanakau
    0

    She waan tah look gangsta, mon.