Author Archives: Heather

Your Afternoon Man: Chad Michael Murray


Ah, Chad Michael Murray. Once the toast of The WB.

Chad Michael Murray

Teens soaps may come and go, but the squint? The squint is forever.

In all seriousness, I have to note that he looks really good in this suit. Props to you, Lord Squint. As for why he’s featured today, well, he popped up on a red carpet and it made me realize that I have a long history with that squint. It dates back to Gilmore Girls, and then Dawson’s Creek, which was his way station while the WB waited for something permanent to offer him. That became One Tree Hill, on which he perfected the art of the Informative Coma and saying lines like, “The River Court is where I do my best healing,” and watching his father’s heart be eaten by a dog, and of course that time he and a different dog — I think — did shots together at a bar. CMM has touched three of the shows that were big parts of my TV viewing experience in this millennium. Not to mention that he was surprisingly good opposite LiLo and Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday. (Not so good: That thing where he allegedly cheated on Sophia Bush with Paris Hilton, and she filed for an annulment five months after they got married, citing fraud. #TeamSophia on that one, pal. Paris Hilton in 2004 was a walking bad idea.)

He was ALSO extremely well-cast in Agent Carter, where The Squint fit in with that certain 1940s male smugness, and strangely, also with those shortie period neckties. Now he’s in some kind of Western, which sounded SUPER jarring to me until I realized that The Squint probably looks perfect in a dusty town on the face of a man who has just pushed through a saloon’s doors and silenced the room. It would look good with a bunch of those old playing cards that only have the suits on them, and no numbers. That might be the right genre, in the end.

All of which made me curious to take a walk down Chad Michael Murray Memory Lane with the Fug Nationals who remember that whole heyday. Would you imagine him in a Western? What kind of show y’all would put him on, if he were to return to TV? Is there still plenty of Chad Michael Murray left to happen, or is he most likely to show up as someone’s dad on a CW superhero show in ten years? And most importantly, did you read that comic book he wrote? I need a report.

[Photo: Getty]

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Unfug or Fab: Winona Ryder


Winona looks terrified, as usual.

Wino Forever

She needn’t be too worried. Despite this also being her standard all-dark aesthetic, she looks really good. The jacket and dress are both cut beautifully and fit with precision. I honestly think all I’d have done is pick a funkier purse and sweep back her hair a bit, so that it looks less like she’s trying to disappear behind it. And maybe… not boots, if that’s what those are. What would you do? Or does this tickle your fancy as-is? I’ll say this: She DOES make the grown-up Lydia Deetz thing work. If she showed up somewhere in fuchsia I might faint.

[Photo: Getty]

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Recent WTFs: Emma Roberts


Remember when Emma Roberts suddenly seemed to have a great stylist? That stylist is either on vacation, or under strict orders to add sartorial cyanide to the recipe.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]

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Charmingly Played: The Many Suits of Rami Malek


Rami Malek has a much longer resume than you’d expect from someone who feels like he just came out of nowhere. But as the star of Mr. Robot, he’s become both omnipresent and an award-winner, as well as a figure of intrigue on the red carpet. (You may not be surprised that his stylist of record is Ilaria Urbinati, who has a real knack for helping people make their red-carpet marks.) And certainly whenever we feature Rami, he draws a lot of positive attention in the comments. So in honor of tonight’s season two premiere of Mr. Robot (though some of you may have seen it via Sunday’s surprise sneak peek), here is a look at where Rami Malek started and how far he’s come. Also, y’all, he has a twin brother named Sami. Set your phasers to YES.

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What the Fug: Jennifer Lopez on the Today Show with Lin-Manuel Miranda


Apparently J.Lo not only recorded a song with Lin-Manuel Miranda and performed it with him on the Today show, but she also attended LMM’s final performance on Saturday night.

Jennifer Lopez & Lin-Manuel Miranda Perform On NBC's "Today"

And I imagine her being like, “Listen, lover, it was not terrible. The hair was good. And it was nice how you let the woman win, and killed off the cheating, tired, lying man, the bastard Batman son of a bore and a shot glass, who sometimes writes but always is so NEEDY and can’t stop SLEEPING WITH PEOPLE and maybe has more hair than he is supposed to. That was smart. But there was maybe too much counting. We know how to get to ten. Also, it would sound better as ‘Anjennifer, J.Loza, and Jenny, the Lopez sisters.’ Also, I was not clear on the location of his block. All heroes have a block. ‘Hammy From The Block’ would have been a better theme song than the one about doing shots. So whatever. It could have been special, Lover-Manuel Miranda. But it was good enough for us to work together to sing about love. I don’t write songs with just anybody, you know. Only my old Marc. And that one country Jennifer with the name that is a mean plant. And Lil’ Wayne, and Luda, and Flo Rida, and Nas, and Eggy Azalea, and Pitfall, and Sultana, and Ja-Thingy, and Ricky Martin, and French Dakota. And all the other people. Other than them, this is not something I do every day. So I am going to bring it for you. I am going to dress like if Lindsay Lohan’s old leggings line married American Apparel on a cruise ship. Because you know who is non-stop? LOPEZ. And when your next musical is the story of my life, I will let you play Marc. Unless you want to be Ben, but… you do not.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger in Jason Wu


I kind of like this, on a noncommittal, theoretical level.

Diane Kruger

But does it also look like weirdly imprecise surgery?

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs: Hip Hop Honors


This was honoring the Queens of Hip Hop, but if you didn’t know that, it would be fair to assume they were celebrating questionable pants.

[Photos: Getty]

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