Plenty of terrible things happen in this episode, but most of them are TO OUR EYES. It’s the penultimate one of the season, so I decided to go long and not skimp on the screen grabs, so that you can get the full flavor of the unique hell that is Squick, which is my new nickname for Huck and Quinn (their names, plus ewwwwww).
What you need to know off the top is that suddenly, it’s six days before the election. SIX DAYS. This show is wretched at the passage of time. It’s never clear when anything is happening, nor what season it is, and I think it’s deliberately vague specifically so they can pull a fast one like this and have us be like, “I… GUESS that’s… sure?” Shouldn’t there have been some concern in the last episode — whose events immediately preceded these — that they were a week away from the vote? It’s like the writers’ room didn’t think of it until it was too late.
In fact, the expression on my face for much of this episode was this one:
Our favorite Secret Service agent turned B-Ullshit spy actually ended up being a pretty boring plot twist, right? Nothing happened with that. Look at this man. He is hungry for Happenings. I bet HE knows how to kiss a woman without unhinging his jaw. I’m just saying.
When we left off, Jake Ballard had just grabbed Olivia by the throat and thrown her against a wall, because he’s enraged that she shut down B-Abusive, and I guess we’re supposed to think it’s super manly that he’s fine with hurling her around like a rag doll. This show is the classic example of wanting to have its cake and eat it, too. It’s trying to turn him into this tortured romantic hero, and yet also, he’s behaving like a Neanderthal assbag. See?
Strongfugr: Kim Kardashian in Balmain
The beaded Balmain from yesterday had very similar problems to this dress:
That being, we all know that Kim Kardashian is INSANELY FIT right now. We’ve just seen her frolicking in a bikini and rump-roasting for a photoshoot in Thailand, and Us Weekly and its ilk are slavishly covering her pre-wedding workout regimen. This woman is in extremely good shape. So why is she prowling around Paris in not one but TWO thick, tight, smothering maxi-dresses that add fifteen pounds to her midsection? I don’t GET IT. There are so many incomprehensible things about Planet Kardashia, and one of them is that when you combine her net worth and Kanye’s AND the fact that people are surely giving them these things for free, it’s ASTONISHING that she manages to pick stuff that’s so unflattering. It would be one thing if we thoughtshe didn’t care about people thinking she’s perfectly slim, but she DOES care, because she’s telling people she does a hundred squats every morning, and thrives on showing off her curves on Instagram and whatnot. Her brand is her body, at this point, and so you’d think she’d at least package it well.
Even better, she wore this off a plane from Paris to Miami. I do not harbor any delusions that she wore it for the whole flight, but I am LOVING imagining her changing out of it in the air, and then, just before landing, having to wrestle herself back into it and accidentally, like, dropping a sleeve in the lav, and having to try and dry it on some paper towels.
[Photo: Fame/Flynet]
react: