Author Archives: Heather

Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 19, “I’m Just A Bill”


Well, Susan Ross may be a bit of a Mary Sue right now — she is too awesome to be true — but her parts of the episode had panache and life, which only underscored how grim the rest is. With apologies to Scott Foley, who can only do the job he is given, whenever Jake opens his mouth I just zone out and wait for it to stop.

Let’s begin, though, with that wine cardigan.

scandal-season-4-episode-19-recap-1

Olivia was swaddled in this massive grey blanket of a sweater at the end of last weekwhen Papa Pope made an unwelcome return to her doorstep, popping up behind her new fling, Russell (from Stomp The Yard). What ensues is one of the prototypically irritating Scandal scenes, where Papa Pope exposits for us that if Olivia doesn’t put the kibosh on the Bust B-3.14159 scheme it will bring down the Republic AND the president she cherishes, and then Olivia climbs up on her high horse and unfurls a large banner that says, “I DON’T CARE ABOUT SAVING FITZ. I CARE ABOUT JUSTICE.” At which point Papa Pope responds with a maniacal monologue that made me want to put my fist through the television:

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ACM Awards Fug Carpet: Beth Behrs


We have Scrolldown Fugs, and I suppose in a sense you could do a Scroll-up Fug, but calling something a “Scrollmiddle Fug” is nonsense and that’s a shame because this would illustrate the concept beautifully.

beth behrs acms 2015

Head: great. Skirt: classy, well-fitted, lovely blue. Bodice: like something you’d see on a nervous spouse, who clicked on a Facebook ad for photographers who specialize in Artistic Semi-Nudes designed to put the spice back in the marital sack, but then the pictures turn out looking like the Glamour Shots of home porn.

[Photo: Getty]

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ACM Awards Well Played: Reese Witherspoon in David Koma


I love everything about this.

reese witherspoon ACMs 2015

I even, weirdly, love that she appears to be standing in front of a passed-out Spongebob Squarepants, who face planted backstage because he misjudged how dry it is here. What can I say? I’m a sucker for shimmer, good hair and shoes, and a bracelet, and not even a janky background can sully it.

[Photo: Getty]

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ACM Awards Fug or Fine: Taylor Swift


People knock Taylor Swift for still acting surprised when she cleans up at these things, and this may not change that, given that she’s receiving a milestone awards and therefore totally knew it was coming.

taylor swift acms 2015

Then again, she her mother presented it to her, which is sniffly because of the recent cancer diagnosis (kick its ass, Mama Swift!), AND it’s possible she is legitimately shocked that anyone is still giving her trophies for country music. So I’ll let her have this one — and honestly, if she ever went up there and was like, “Yep, saw THIS coming. BORING,” people would crucify her even more. She can’t win for losing, in that sense. Much like Kate Middleton. She might be the Kate of the U.S. (sorry, Kim Kardashian; I know you have been gunning for that title).

Anyway: Let’s take a look at her dress. She didn’t walk the red carpet, so this is the best I could do:

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Fug the Show: Nashville recap, season 3, episode 18, ‘Nobody Knows But Me’


This episode felt a little perkier, thanks to the full-time return of Juliette, and the fact that lots of people who are NOT Juliette had actual adult conversations in mature ways — which is, as you know, my kryptonite.

But first, a beef:

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Juliette has named her baby Cadence — whoever guessed “Harmony” in the comments last week was not far off, although I also don’t believe IN A MILLION YEARS that Juliette pulled that one out at the hospital. I sincerely doubt she’d be singing a lullaby with Avery and then think, “What wonderful cadence we have HEY WAIT BINGO.”

Anyway, Cadence is clearly fussy, and Juliette and Avery have been home for three weeks, and she’s starting to lose it. But Avery has band commitments — I guess Sadie Stone’s album was his only job, and now that she left to go have feelings on another TV show, he has to focus on The Triple (E)X(e)s. Juliette is bumming out, etc. But the part that really chaps my knee pits is: Hayden Panettiere and Jonathan Jackson take turns trying to soothe Cadence, and they do so by bouncing her up and down like you would not believe. BOTH of these people are parents in real life now; did NOBODY teach them not to do that? My mom volunteers in the mother and baby ward of her local hospital, and the nurse there begs new parents not to bounce their babies by cracking an egg into a mason jar and then jiggling it very lightly and saying, “See how that messes up the yolk? That is YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN PLEASE DON’T DO THAT EVER.” I’m sure it’s apt that nobody should be taking parenting tips from Juliette Barnes, but still.

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What the Fug (As Usual): Kim Kardashian, with an assist from Khloe


If this is how her shirt situation is going at the dawn of spring…

kim kardashian in paris

… then I’m developing some anxieties about what summer will bring.

Also, if you’ve ever wondered what a Kardashian would wear to the viewing of a memorial to victims of genocide against Armenians:

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