Author Archives: Heather

Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears


Jessica celebrated her birthday yesterday, so she gets today off, which means Britney won’t be speaking via Letter of Truth today (I wouldn’t dream of it). We’re thus only able to imagine how hard it must be for her to process what an Iggy Azalea even is.

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I mean, these two don’t even look like they would know what to SAY to one another – and this is AFTER they recorded a song and shot a whole video together. I feel like Britney got to that set and wanted to talk about Sean P and Iggy thought that was a rapper and then Britney was like, “Remember NSYNC?” and then Iggy was like, “I DO NOT LIP SYNC STOP IT STOP IT NOW,” and then they gave up talking except when they had to check each other’s teeth before the camera rolled.

Let’s break them apart for a look at the outfits. Iggy’s goes someplace unfortunate:

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Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Hailee Steinfeld in Givenchy


Congratulations, Hailee Steinfeld. Your movie Pitch Perfect 2 won the box office this weekend. What are you going to do?

hailee steinfeld billboard music awards

… oh. You’re going to the town’s annual square dance at Big Mike’s Boozenasium, where you’ll filch a bottle of home-brewed bathtub moonshine from Old Lady Terducken’s handbag and then get in the back of some boy’s pickup truck with two bales of hay, a blanket, and a condom that’s three years old. Me, I’d have stuck with Disneyland.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

 

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Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Taraji P. Henson in Alexandre Vaulthier


I bring woeful tidings, Fug Nation.

taraji p henson billboard music awards

Miley wore this first. I repeat: Not only is the fabulous Taraji P. Henson wearing body windows, but she is in a Cyrus’s sloppy seconds. COOKIE. YOU’RE GOING THE WRONG WAY. To quote my GPS, which says this to me often, “In 0.2 miles make a U-Turn.”

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Billboard Music Awards Fugs and Fines: Chrissy Teigen


Chrissy Teigen is definitely Having A Moment right now. She is everywhere, including on a new daytime show next season (with Tyra and Joe Zee), that lip-synch battle show on Spike, and here hosting the Billboard Music Awards. Unfortunately, this particular moment included three outfits we’ve seen before, and two that are hideous.

[Photos: Getty. Fame/Flynet]

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Billboard Music Awards Fug or Fab: Taylor Swift in Balmain


Balmain seems rather into the Groovy Jumpsuit business right now.

taylor swift billboard music awards

I mean, does it look BAD on her? No. But does it enchant me? No. Do I appreciate the bracelet? Yes. Do I feel like the outfit itself belongs on the gum-smacking girlfriend of a porn entrepreneur having a pool party in the ’70s for some rich backers? Bingo. I’m all for Taylor Swift stretching, and trying new things, and lord knows she’s got the twentysomething sculpted bod for this exact outfit (if not any visible feet). And every time I’m about to dismiss it outright, I glance up again and think, “Dammit, Taylor, I can’t quit you.”

And then I look at the back:

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Billboard Music Awards Who The Fug Are You: Dencia


The award for The Artist Who Is The Most Certain That She Is Fascinating goes to this Dencia person. Her Wikipedia page says she has been called a cross between Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj…

dencia billboard music awards

… and I’m pretty sure that is only according to her.

Actually, her Wikipedia is quite curious. There are three different warnings at the top disputing the neutrality of the entry, which details how this Cameroon-born musician-type person has pioneered the use of a product called Whitelicious to change the color of skin — and that in turn has led to some back-and-forth with the likes of Lupita Nyong’o over a reference Lupita made in a speech. In short, Dencia seems like quite the controversial figure for a LOT of reasons, and I will be curious to hear what Fug Nation makes of all this. But when someone walks the red carpet in an outfit that looks like an anatomy textbook as written by Willy Wonka – which is not a compliment – well, it’s my job to inform y’all about it. Besides, Kathie Lee Gifford will be ENRAGED that someone stole her Sunday best, so that’s a feud we can anticipate too.

[Photo: Getty]

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