Author Archives: Heather

VMAs Fug Carpet: Demi Lovato in Lanvin


This is a preponderance of sternum, and not a whole lot of ANYTHING flattering besides.

Demi Lovato at the VMAs

I mean, stick a matching turban on her and put her in a lily pond, scratching the face of her bitter rival over the leathery old coot they both inexplicably want to bang, then YEAH, I’ll go on that ride. But Dynasty is not a trip every 22-year old is meant to take. Or, any.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

react:

VMAs Fug Carpet: Sarah Hyland in Kaufmanfranco


Sarah Hyland must have a new stylist. She used to be all samey-looking Marchesas, and now she’s trying out all kinds of different silhouettes.

Sarah Hyland at the VMAs

Unfortunately, she also seems to be trying on stuff that was assembled in five minutes by someone who was using a stapler and only one hand.

[Photo: AKM-GSI]

react:

VMAs Fug Carpet: Rita Ora in Donna Karan


I don’t know how else to say it, so I’ll be blunt: You have WAY too much crap on your hands, child. Fingers are important. Don’t impede their function. LET YOUR PHALANGES DANCE.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, AKM-GSI]

react:

VMAs Fug Carpet: Iggy Azalea in Versace


As I noted on Twitter, I cannot latch onto Iggy Azalea. When she’s standing around, or being interviewed, there’s no real there there, and when she’s performing absolutely nothing about her comes across as authentic in any way. It’s all a big put-on, and it’s not even an INTERESTING put-on, so I’m flummoxed as to how this is happening at all. Maybe I really have stepped over that last chasm that now separates me from The Youngs. (I DID, in fact, note to Jessica that  her ponderous song with Rita Ora and the boring stuff Ariana Grande, Jessie J, and Nicki Minaj sang all somehow sounded the same. I AM SIXTY INSIDE.)

Anyhoo: Iggy.

Iggy Azalea at the VMAs 2014

She told a really poor story about this dress that went something like, “They flew me a dress and it didn’t even fit me and they busted it apart and put it on me and here I am.” First, yes, it looks like it. Second, she has got to work on her delivery. Third, meh. If that clear patch is supposed to be a window into her the mysteries of her very core, I don’t think it’s working.

[Photo: Getty]

 

react:

VMAs Fug Carpet: Kim Kardashian and the Jenners


Sometimes it looks like Kim really struggles to remember what all her face muscles can do.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]

react:

VMAs Fug Carpet: Miley Cyrus


She’s raising her hands in the air like she just don’t care… and actually, she really seriously might not.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

react: