America’s Next Fug Model

Toccara Jones here is one of my favorite past ANTM contestants:

And according to Wikipedia, she is about to star in (or is currently starring in) season 2 of DONALD TRUMP PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE MERGER, which is both a mouthful and a television show in which The Donald picks 12 dudes for a lady to date — like The Bachelorette plus The Apprentice, I guess.  Last season — its first — the Lady in Question was (of course) Omarosa (because Trump seriously loves him some Omarosa, which I find kind of entertaining, actually) and APPARENTLY, she got down to the final dude and found out HE WAS STILL MARRIED. I can not believe I missed this, is what I’m saying.  And I think the fact that the masterminds at Trump Inc who cast this show missed the fact that someone was  STILL MARRIED goes a LONG way toward explaining why Tocarra is out and about wearing a cape:  she may come upon some unfortunate news and have to fly away to safety at any moment.

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Comments (18):

  1. Candy

    I think if the cape-y part was gone, I’d really dig this dress.

  2. wtfnyc

    OMG when did Toccara get so thin??? I definitely think she looked better larger. Kind of dig the dress, though.

    (But then again, I have been waging a 1-woman campaign in favor of the Gathered Caftan for quite some time now. Don’t judge.)

  3. Sherri

    I like the dress, too — not so much the color, but yeah, I can get behind the Gathered Caftan. I actually like the look, but I also like capes when worn correctly.

  4. Teleute

    I never thought I’d say this, but I’m so on Team Caftan here. I think this looks amazing – the colors are spectacular for her, it looks fantastically artsy, and it draws attention straight to her face while still showing that she has a lovely waist.

    Like wtfnyc, I do think the larger size suited her better, but she looks both beautiful and interesting here.

  5. Mary Jeannine Grace-Harbison

    Why does the name “Endora” come to mind?

  6. Lindy

    I can’t believe so many people like this thing! You’d think Toccara would want to show off her awesome new figure.

  7. witjunkie

    I looove the print – I am so mixed on this style though, not of caftans, but the blouses that are everywhere in this kind of caftanesque sleeve…some are belted, some not…I’m drawn to them because usually the prints are so pretty, but I try them on and they make me look so old and/or fat…are people wearing these in real life?

  8. witjunkie

    P.S. haha – totally Endora.

  9. Miranda

    Seashells? Do I see seashells on the dress?

  10. Lisa

    Grace Kelly wore caftans the best and I’d love to see them come back in a sophisticated way!

  11. Sensible Sea Monster

    It’s like she’s dressed up as a really fancy flying squirrel.

  12. Jessica B

    I adore Toccara and she is beautiful in person (once sat across from her on plane) but *this* does her no justice.

  13. Kimberli

    The Ultimate Merger? Ewww.

  14. Mary

    When I squint up my eyes, I can imagine this without the cape thingy — and also shorter — and I kinda like it.

  15. Sandra

    She herself is lovely; the outfit is a Sunday drive down Zbornak Avenue.

  16. Infoqueen

    Her outfit is the Ultimate Merger, between cape and caftan: it’s…a capetan!

  17. vandalfan

    Mrs. Roper? Is that you?

  18. Bambi Anne Dear

    Toccara. Her name is Toccara. *shakes head and ponders*