AMAs Fug Carpet: Jordin Sparks

Where was I when Jordin Sparks started dating Jason Derulo?

I have no problem with this, I literally just didn’t realize it was happening. Us Weekly, dude, where were you on this? Where are the pics of these two, like, buying wrapping paper at the Grove and holding hands, wherein I learn that they are just like us — THEY WRAP PRESENTS! — and also that they are dating.

Mazel tov, kids, and now let’s deal with Jordin’s dress:

It is….well, in the interest of not harshing her romantical buzz, let’s just not that it EXISTS, and move on.

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Comments (32):

  1. Helen

    Well… at least her face looks great?

  2. TaraMisu

    Ummmmm ….. what Helen ^ said.

  3. heron

    I sort of like the skirt fabric. Without the cut-outs and the sheer(ish) parts, this could be an interesting dress.

    • Erin

      Agreed…if we could eliminate all the sheer and maybe make the neckline a little less plunging, it could be passable.
      Still, something about this dress screams Tarzan chic.

      • Mair Mair

        Yeah, I actually kinda like the fabric on the bottom part of the skirt — except for that weird antelope-looking thing, which is staring straight at me and FREAKING ME OUT.

  4. Lynne

    Yeah, that’s about the only compliment we can give here. I also didn’t know she and Jason Derulo were a thing and for the record, they are adorable together.

    That dress just screams “I am doing a favor for my friend trying to break into the design biz”. Is it by an unknown? Or by someone who should know better?

  5. kickassmomnyc

    Beautiful face and ponytail. The mesh + ugly print dress is a horror. Don’t these gals look in the mirror?

  6. Stefanie

    Ehh…? Nope.

  7. amys

    The gynecological icon is a nice touch. I remember earlier in the year (January maybe?) that Jason Derulo broke his neck (!!!), and he attributed his recovery to Jordin. So, it’s great to see them both. Maybe next time someone can help get Jordin a pretty dress.

  8. gryt

    Vintage apron + $30 worth of fabric from Mood = this ‘gown’.

  9. pidget

    She looks lovely and happy. This dress is an abomination, and does her lovely strong and feminine bod no favours at all. Save the mesh for costumes and stagewear (if you must), and sack your stylist!

  10. Louise

    Agreed: let’s just not…

  11. Karen

    Holy crap, that’s a fugly dress.

  12. Jen S 2.0

    Wow. No. She is lovely and talented and has a rockin’ bod, but that dress is so fug I cannot stand it. Take it off her; she’d be better off attending this event clad in just her Spanx.

    Also, Dear Jason Derulo: I have nothing against you and you music and I may or may not have sung along a time or 20 in my car to one your poppy little hits. But I do have something against you for dumbing down the spelling of your name from “Desrouleaux” to “Derulo” because you — or your management — figured the world was too stupid to spell it. Notwithstanding that many people indeed DON’T bother spelling anything correctly, how about giving your public at least a little bit of credit? Love, me.

    • Kara

      Wait, is that true about his name? I didn’t know that!

      I did know they were dating – they’ve been a couple for a while. This dress is completely awful. She has a great body (her costumes in Sparkle looked great), and this does terrible things to it. I don’t even think this is an “it looked good on the hanger but bad on the body thing” because that is so clearly just an ugly-ass dress. Did she go blind temporarily? Did someone she loved make it and she felt like she had to wear it, like my old boss with a macaroni bracelet her daughter made in kindergarten?

  13. dawn

    That could be one of the fugliest dresses I’ve ever seen.

  14. Tiffany

    Everytime I think of Jason Derulo, I think of how he sings his own name soooo passionately in every one of his songs. So in my head when I read “Jason Derulo” it sounds like “Jasoooon Deruuuuullllllllloooooo” with some runs in there. Then I laugh at him.

    • Jen S 2.0

      Ha, so glad I’m not the only one! But, as mentioned above, in my head I’m spelling it “Jasooooon Desroooooouleauuuuuux”

  15. Peggy L.

    I’m picturing her Mom saying, “You’d better wear something under that dress!” and Jordin going, “Take THAT, Mom!”

  16. Bella

    That’s one fugly dress. The sheer bodice looks like snagged nylon stockings.

  17. Kelly

    She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey caught in a net.

    Nice eye make up though!

  18. Sajorina

    Mmmmmmmmm… NO!

  19. jen

    The dress makes her look far wider than she is…

  20. Melissa

    Heh, Freudian slip, “not that it exists”…

  21. Elle

    You guys, Erin Wasson totally wore a version of this dress a few months ago:

    Not many Fug Nationals liked it then, either.

    • Sajorina

      OMG, I just checked that out and apparently I loved the version of the dress Erin was wearing, but not so much on Erin, just the dress itself! Somehow, Jordin’s version is doing nothing for me, but she’s so pretty!

  22. Erin

    I actually love this dress from the waist down. The top is what I can’t sign off on. Lose the mesh on the upper half, tighten up the V so it’s still plunging but not plunging to the belly button, and I think we’d be in business.

  23. Regina

    I love this dress and I want it. That is all.

  24. Prisca

    Her boobs look WONKY. No good.

  25. Bottle Ginger

    Apparently I’m the only one who really likes the dress on her! Well, I like the dress FOR HER, it totally works with her height and her curves and her youth and her coloring and her personality.

    I doubt I’d like it on anyone else.

  26. Lily1214

    Oh gosh . . . I thought she was Kimmy-girl.