People knock Taylor Swift for still acting surprised when she cleans up at these things, and this may not change that, given that she’s receiving a milestone awards and therefore totally knew it was coming.

Then again, she her mother presented it to her, which is sniffly because of the recent cancer diagnosis (kick its ass, Mama Swift!), AND it’s possible she is legitimately shocked that anyone is still giving her trophies for country music. So I’ll let her have this one — and honestly, if she ever went up there and was like, “Yep, saw THIS coming. BORING,” people would crucify her even more. She can’t win for losing, in that sense. Much like Kate Middleton. She might be the Kate of the U.S. (sorry, Kim Kardashian; I know you have been gunning for that title).

Anyway: Let’s take a look at her dress. She didn’t walk the red carpet, so this is the best I could do:

I basically liked it a lot better before learning the dirty little secret of the tube top. The longer I look at the side, too, the worse the sewing seems to be. It all seems like underpinnings with a religious vestment draped over it. Although I suppose that’s apt because at this rate someday there WILL be a Church of Swift. They can call themselves the Unitayrians. I expect a cut from the collection plate.

Also:

She seems very close with her mother, and it also sounds as if Mama Swift is much beloved by her daughter’s fans and does a lot for them. Going through scary health stuff with your parents is hard enough without being one of the most famous — and observed — people in the world. I’m sure this is a freaky time for all of them, and I hope she knocks this thing out with a quickness. In other words: HUG YOUR LOVED ONES.

[Photos: Getty]