“Whoa, kids. Hold up.”

Taylor Momsen

“Don’t CHOOSE me. Okay? I don’t want to be CHOSEN. Because if I’m CHOSEN, then I have to do things like this:

Taylor Momsen

“I KNOW. It’s like, GROSS. Do you KNOW how overheated my thighs are right now? Do you KNOW how repressed my shins feel? But oh, it’s the Kids’ Choice Awards, I’m CHOSEN, HOORAY, now I have to OPPRESS MY TRUE NATURE with PANTS and stuff. But I refuse to stand up straight and I refuse not to wear eight-inch stripper platforms and forty-inch hair extensions because, bitches, you say I’m the Fug Madness 2011 winner? Well, bring it, 2012, because I am gonna lay you DOWN.”