Hello, I just titled this post “Royals Round-Up,” so….that tells you how this week has gone for me! Here’s some stuff to read:

Oooooh, are you looking to spend your feelings on some ablutions? We’re having a BIG beauty products chat this week.

This is VERY good, at Elle: “For years, Mormon Mommy Blogger Natalie Lovin curated a picture-perfect life. Then she left the church — and her husband. “

Lainey has a good take on the 2020 Met Gala theme. I feel like this…is gonna be ALL over the place.

This was a really interesting and lovely piece about Walter Mercado, the be-caped Puerto Rican astrologer who died this week. [WaPo]

Somewhat related, at Bitch:  Warts and All: The Art of Being Dragged by Our Astrology Apps

Also at Lainey, I think I speak for ALL OF US when I say WTF with this James Dean thing. (Her take is much more nuanced than that.)

Want to feel enraged? At the New York Times: I Was the Fastest Girl in America, Until I Joined Nike.

So good, at Eater: “Almost 20 years after “The Restaurant” made Rocco DiSpirito the world’s first reality-TV chef, his roller coaster career is still an object of fascination.”

Speaking of eating, at the LA Times: The official instant ramen power rankings. (I have a profound love of instant ramen and almost had some for lunch today except I made the mistake of reading the back of the one I happened to have bumming around my pantry — I like to buy them at random at the market and save them for whenever I’m in the mood — and it was 80% of my daily sodium and I decided to save that for the next time I have PMS.)

Fascinating, at ESPN: The ugly, gory, bloody secret life of NHL dentists

This story about a dance team of senior citizens in Queens is pretty amazing and, as they say, #goals. I am obsessed with these ladies. At the New York Times.

At Celebitchy: Ugh, stop talking, Jeff Goldblum.

So interesting, at Town & Country: How Imelda Marcos, the Wife of a Filipino Dictator, Became an Icon of ’80s Excess

At The Mary Sue: Kristen Stewart Gets Candid About Slut-Shaming That Kept Her out of the Huntsman Sequel: “They Should’ve Put Me in That Movie.” SHE IS CORRECT.

Very interesting, at Atlas Obscura: The Oddly Autocratic Roots of Pad Thai.

At Socialite Life, the new 90210 reboot — which I thought was great – has been cancelled, which cannot be a surprise?????? It never really felt like it was more than a fun experiment for everyone, to me.