WTF: Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilia Wickstead


She’s just effing with us now, right?

GettyImages-515794510

I refuse to accept any other explanation. Surely she saw everyone flip their wigs over this monstrosity and thought, “you didn’t like that? GAME ON, PEASANTS.”

The Hollywood Reporter And Jimmy Choo's Power Stylists Dinner

I’m…that’s…you’re…okay. Fine. It’s true. You broke me. I’m out. I’m need to go lie down. Advantage, Paltrow. AS USUAL.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (246):

  1. Eliza Bennett
    +185

    Holy POLTERWANG, FUGMAN!!!

    • D.
      +57

      That is some serious camel toe.

      • Eliza Bennett
        +144

        Lissen, if I can see your ribcage through a knit (!) top, it is too dang tight. A formal onesie in this fabric and size boggles my mind.

      • Nancy
        +17

        Camel toe on steroids!!! How in the name of all that is fashionable could she possibly thought that this looked good??? Holy Cameltoe, Batman!!!

        •  Jenny B.
          +11

          Not only did she think she looked good, she posted a self-portrait in her Instagram feed! I saw it there and was flabbergasted. I’m glad I’m here with my people now.

      • Mrs. Helpful
        +178

        As a scientist, I feel compelled to argue that this is faux camel toe, brought on by the seam, as opposed to tightness and physical happenstance. That said, faux or not, it is cameltoe and it is heinous. Unforgivable!

        also, I am not really a scientist. until now.

    • weaslgrl
      +2

      At least there are no VSLs (visible Spanx lines) on this one?

      • deadnluvinit
        +15

        Is that Spandex on the bottom? There are lines- is that just underwear? Ah no I can’t with the rib cage and the inside of her vagina. However her boobs look perfect and smooth.

        •  Another Katie
          +22

          Someone said on Twitter last night that this is a bodysuit and pants, not a jumpsuit, so the VPL is actually VBL. I think that might actually be worse than VPL because it was obviously planned.

    • Kara
      +40

      OMG LOOK AT THAT CROTCH. I don’t even know what’s going on there. It’s polterwang and cameltoe and sagging all at once. Hideous!

    • JennDiagram
      +29

      That’s the worst of it, but this garment has NOT ONE redeeming quality. Not cut, not color, not fabric, not fit… NOT.

    • DebMcC
      +8

      Nice thermals, Gwyneth.

  2. rejector seat
    +34

    Alas, I can never unsee the WANG de POLTER!!!

  3. Kate
    +135

    Did her eyes die in her head? WHY WOULD ANYONE WEAR THIS IN PUBLIC?????

  4.  Alyssa
    +105

    All I have going through my head is Phoebe Buffet screaming “MY EYES! MY EYEEEES!”

  5.  JenniferA
    +78

    Aggggggh!! As bad as the first photo is, the second one is just AGGGGGGGGGGGHHH! So bad.

    She’s making this whole comments section go ALL CAPSY.

    •  laulau
      +16

      I think she stood in front of her mirror and posed -just right- and then went out where she moved around with disastrous results.

      • Nora
        +42

        Is there really a “just right” pose for this outfit, though? Like, can the human body be in a position that would make this look good? I have serious doubts.

        • deadnluvinit
          +12

          I am thinking on a balance beam in a Russian Circus/ Olympics/ space station orbiting Uranus.

  6.  BenevolentCabinetry
    +80

    BULL TRUE.

  7.  stacie
    +26

    When I first saw the picture on Lainey… I did the internet version of running over here to say UNSEE UNSEE. That is literally the worst thing I have seen all year. Did she not look in the mirror at all? Who put that on her and said “you look great”? They should be fired.

  8. dkewbe
    +28

    How is it possible that with everything that’s going on there, the thing that I find most offensive is the pant hem? Can it even be called a pant hem? Am I just trying to divert my eyes lower?

  9. Lily
    +17

    I genuinely think the maker of this outfit needs to be arrested. That second picture is so majorly unflattering. When the bottom half of can accidentally make Gwyneth look the way KimK DELIBERATELY does, you know there’s a problem. FAIL.

  10.  Sennalina
    +25

    Someone is desperate for column inches it seems.

    • jen
      +18

      I actually think she is desperate for attention. She can’t possibly be thinking this is a good look so there’s no other explanation…..

      •  Sennalina
        +7

        Doing a quick scroll through the Goop posts on here and the comments are mostly between 40-60 with a couple over that. The previous jumpsuit post has over 200 comments, so that’s probably true for other sites as well. Case closed! :^P

  11.  jen
    +13

    I have decided that Gwyneth lost a really really bad bet, smiled through this event, sent pics to the winner of said bet, and then drank herself into a stupor.

  12. Buffy
    +30

    Aw hell no. I’m not accepting that. I guess Paltrow thinks she can make anything fabulous, even a Pepto Bismol pink, stretchy jumpsuit.

    She is deeply mistaken.

  13.  Mina
    +24

    I popped over here real quick thinking: “I’ll just stop for a second before I do my workout….OH MY GOD.” Then I had a heart attack. That jumpsuit is a crime.

  14. WonderSchwermin
    +20

    I do not need to see that much of ANYONE’S anatomy….

  15. Bea
    +134

    This makes me feel like I actually living my best self. Thanks, Goop.

  16. meme
    +8

    I’m beginning to believe some celebs just want attention – whether it be good or bad. So that getup is a success since we’re talking about it and her.

  17. BrownEyedBetty
    +25

    Gosh, if she were a Time Traveler, she could stunt double as Cloris Leachman’s character on the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

    • Campbell
      +5

      That or a bid to be cast in a Golden Girls reboot…Rose could have kept this from her St. Olaf days.

      •  DianeN
        +3

        Rose would have had the sense to wear it under her dirndl, and with the legs (trimmed and hemmed) tucked into her mukluks.

    • Margaret
      +16

      Actually I think out looks more like the future, where, if Star Trek has taught me anything, we will all decide to wear jumpsuits.

      Except this is some horrible dystopian mirror universe future where everyone has to wear THAT jumpsuit.

      • Em
        +9

        I was thinking, this looks just like something Counselor Troi would wear.

      •  DianeN
        +1

        Even the Star Trek ones were pretty bad, though. I knew someone for about ten minutes who was in the cast of one of the shows. He said by the end of the day it was impossible to stand up straight anymore! At least Gwynnie doesn’t seem to have that problem among all the other problems this atrocity is committing on her body!

    •  papersitter
      +10

      PHYLLIS! That’s perfect!

      • Jenny
        +14

        Remember the character Molly Shannon did on SNL- Sally O’Malley?? She was the lady who yelled, “I’m 50!!!” and did high kicks while wearing tight polyester pants that she pulled up to her armpits, causing a huge cameltoe. Goop here is channeling her.

  18.  KarenG958
    +19

    Wow, that may be one of the fugliest things I’ve ever seen! Looks like someone’s very competitively getting a head start on next year’s Fug Madness.

    • Libby
      +1

      My exact thought! This is in next year’s final round. I wish I could un-see this, but alas. On so many levels, no no no no no.

    • Jane
      +1

      EXACTLY what I thought. Wonder what the rest of this year has in store. If it’s outfits like this, she will be a serious contender. GP for the win!!!

  19.  Ms Poopy von Pants
    +6

    Wow, that’s bad. It’s even worse than the other pinky-beige jumpsuit thing she wore a few months back. That means she thought she looked good in that other thing too, otherwise, why repeat it? Is KK her stylist now?! I don’t know much about these things, but it looks like something an actor would have to wear on a movie set so her movements can be recorded for an animated character.

    •  Sennalina
      +14

      My take is that she got a ton of attention when she wore the previous hideous jumpsuit and is a firm believer of ‘there is no such thing as bad publicity.’
      It’s not about how good she looks but how much people will talk about her.

    • Kiersten
      +3

      I don’t know. I mean, this is BAD. But I’m not sure it’s worse than that other one–at least it’s pink and not…whatever that was, and the ruffle on the other one makes me irrationally (or maybe not so much irrationally) furious for some reason. And the fabric seems cheaper on the other one, too. But wow. This one is really bad, too. I can’t decide.

      •  Cucina49
        +16

        Well, it’s not that horrible beigey pink and it doesn’t have a ruffle…so that’s better, I guess?

        But holy crap. How anyone can wear two beige/pink jumpsuits with terrible crotches and massive cameltoe is beyond me. I give up.

        • AnnieC
          +3

          Right, she’s don’t almost this exact outfit before. She’s trolling us.

          For all the talk of her girl squad with Nicole Ritchie, Cameron Diaz, etc. they must not be very good friends because no one should let this happen to their friends.

        • jnadreau
          +3

          Wasn’t the first one bad enough? Did she have to say, “Dayum, I looked GOOD in that last cameltone jumpsuit. I’ma do it again!”

      • Mrs. Helpful
        +12

        well, I think there is a cumulative effect from the repeat offense which makes this one worse.

        That said, I kind of miss the ruffle! At least it gave you somewhere else to look!

  20. Gypsy Danger
    +13

    Is that RHW talking to her? I feel like she’s thinking “don’t look directly at the jumpsuit”.

  21. Roz
    +2

    I have a fondness for both GOOP and pink. Were it not for the awkward diaper-y fit, I actually like this! I just wish the bottom fit better.

    • JJ
      +1

      If it had an inch more fabric in the crotch I would love it. I honestly love the concept, but maybe would have done it in black and not worn it in early spring – it screams January to me. Which makes me realize why I like it! It reminds me of a super chic snowsuit from the 70s.

  22. Linda
    +4

    I’m starting to think she fell and hit her head &. she really believes she’s Pepper Potts and these jump suit travesties are her costumes.

    • Gypsy Danger
      +15

      Pepper would NEVER wear this. She’s way too chic. Think of the jokes Tony Stark would have about this outfit.

      • Linda
        +1

        Pepper wouldn’t, but Gwyneth doesn’t have the costume designer from Iron Man films to stop her.

  23. Helen
    +23

    It looks like she was laundered incorrectly… down to the hair

  24.  Ellen
    +27

    It’s a flesh coloured Gumby come to life…something I never ever wished to see and hope to never see again.
    That will single-Camel Toed-ly win next year’s Fug Madness.

  25.  Niki
    +13

    Okay, the top picture/front view isn’t the worst thing in the history of ever. The rise it a hot polterwang mess, but we’ve seen worse.

    The bottom picture/side view? It’s so inexplicably, wildly unflattering. There are no more words.

    • cs
      +16

      When I saw the first pic I thought “ok that’s bad but it’s not THAT bad” and then I scrolled on to the second one and burst out laughing.

  26. MJB
    +14

    This WTF posting should have come with a warning!! You have a duty of care to your readers.
    Because you can’t unsee what Ive just seen; it’s stuck to the back of my eyes now.
    I need to go lie down now.

  27. Amy S.
    +6

    Her expression in the first photo says it all: “Yeah, I know it’s terrible, but you’re talking about it, right? Ha!”

  28. Kiti
    +15

    I saw this picture on another site, where the post was praising GOOP for her fashion genius and making this outfit look so sexy, and I immediately thought, “Gwyneth Paltrow is upping the ante on her former flesh-colored camel-toe jumpsuit. WTF. There will be SANITY on GFY, and I’m certain they’ve already addressed this.” I hopped over here, and sure enough, it was the post at the very top.

    I just… You know what? All the other commenters have said everything already.

    • Kiti
      +79

      WAIT. I thought of something that hasn’t been said.

      Gwyneth Paltrow is convinced of her own brilliance and impeccable taste, despite all evidence to the contrary, and she also obviously (and desperately) wants her own entry in the GFY Glossary. This is part of her not-so-subtle campaign to get “polterwang” changed to “Paltrowang”.

  29. Sandra
    +19

    All of that, and I still had time to notice that her hair hasn’t been brushed this week.

  30. MizWeirdo
    +3

    Yyyyyeeeecccchhh. Blech.

  31. camille
    +3

    Is she just f’ing with us now or what? Is this an elaborate troll? I very much hope she’s laughing her face off into a glass of wine and high-fiving whichever friends or stylists are in on the joke.

  32. Mikki
    +4

    How does a person even get into this thing? Is there a zipper in the back? I can’t imagine the contortions to go through to wear this, not to mention the bathroom situation.

  33. annemarieg
    +17

    I’m old, so I can say this: Gwyneth, you’re too old to get away with this, and you’re way too old for that hair. Get a grip on yourself.

  34. Linda
    +13

    I just read on usmagazine’s site that she drinks $200 smoothies every day from her GOOP Dust smoothie powder line.

    They have maca, and some chinese herbs in them. Gwynnie, you know you can buy Maca at a Vitamin Shoppe for like $15 right? and the rest of that stuff is probably just dirt they put in a jar and sold to you.

  35.  Megan
    +31

    That cameltoe is giving ME cystitis.

  36.  Gypsy
    +19

    Tee hee hee! It delights me that she is wearing something so awful.

    15 years ago, I did a play with Whittier Community Theater. I had to do a sort of va-va-voom dance solo, and they brought in an 80+ year-old woman named Millie to choreograph and teach me the dance. The fit of Millie’s polyester pants was something I could not tear my eyes away from. So much pelvis. She was perfectly trim and yet it was horrifying. Gwyneth has the exact same look going here.

    • BrownEyedBetty
      +4

      Absolutely. This getup gives us a glimpse of GP’s future granny body. I can see it!

    • Heather
      +24

      And yet, somehow I sense that Millie was awesome, while Gwennie here… does not look awesome.

    • greatwhitenorthchick
      +4

      This. Overtight polyester, not a good look at any age.

      Actually, she is so sausaged into this that she would honestly look better buck naked.

  37.  gryt
    +5

    The effin side view of this… I dunno why (maybe bcs it’s that vintage panty/corset color?)—random thought coming…—but this atrocity reminds me of how back when sanitary pads were held in place by a ‘sanitary belt’: https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0738/3405/products/SanitaryNapkin01_grande.jpeg?v=1427661122
    (As lrecently as in the 70′s! Seems almost impossible.) I don’t know what Gwyneth is trying to prove here.

    • annemarieg
      +14

      THOSE WERE THE WORST

      • jnadreau
        +4

        (raises hand) I’m from that era too. God, I feel like a dinosaur.

    •  deee
      +10

      I started in the early 70s and I think my Mom gave me one of those for my first few times. I was like WTH? Thankfully our house modernized very quickly. No tampons though. Didn’t get exposed to them until I was in college. We pre internet teenagers were so naive.

      • giggleswick
        +9

        OMG, are you me? It was like the second coming when self-adhesive pads showed up. Tampons, though? Well, only certain kinds of girls used those. /s
        I, too, had to wait until college.

  38. Heather
    +11

    My first response was ‘whuuut?’ and my second response was, this makes Goop look chubby. Desingers, if your outfit makes Goop look chubby, it was not meant for this world.

  39.  deee
    +15

    JC, what is that color? Gynecological pink?

  40. Shannanigan
    +8

    You guys! This was worn at a dinner for STYLISTS. Do you think she they were just messing with her???

  41. schadenfreudelicious
    +31

    Mons pubis chic….

  42. Caz
    +10

    Oh god, it looks like it’s made from thick paper towels.

    And if someone as trim and fit as her looks that horrid in it, what on earth would it look like on anyone else?

  43. Dinsdale
    +96

    That second picture. Oh my god. She looks like a plucked chicken. At a disco.

  44.  Loxy
    +10

    When I retweeted the picture preview last night, one of my followers described it as:

    She looks like she’s wearing a bad 60′s Sci-Fi prediction of what people will wear in the year 2000

    • ET
      +2

      I know it’s not a red shirt, but she does look like one of the disposable characters sent out to the planet on Star Trek. “Pinky, you go do reconnaissance. We’ll meet you down there.” But they never do….

  45.  NancyDrew'sAttic
    +3

    Why does she insist on wearing this color?? Ballet pink is appropriate for pretty much no one over the age of 10. Fug Girls, can an intervention be arranged?

  46. Jennifer
    +3

    Runway photo and comments about how great Goop looks:
    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_56e95477e4b0860f99db0263

    •  Ang
      0

      I saw the link to that article somewhere, but I make a habit of not clicking on click-bait. I was happy to click on YOUR link though. ;) What kind of Kool-aid is the HuffPo drinking? They honestly think she looks “amazing”?!

  47. AmyLou
    +27

    She’s Sally O’Malley, she’s 50 years old, and she can kick, and stretch, and kick! She’s 50!

  48. jenw
    +4

    She has the worst taste. Of anyone. I’ve decided.

  49. TaraMisu
    +3

    OH C’MON GOOP!!!

  50. Hootspa
    +1

    At the headline, my mind flashed back to that cream-colored onesie thing she wore on Fallon….or whatever late night show it was. I thought, “What could be worse.?” I actually prefer THIS one, if only for the color.

  51. md
    +1

    LOL it probably is made of paper towels! The camel toe is painfully disturbing – someone talk to the woman. Also, did she have a facelift? Her face looks different.

  52. S
    +14

    You know, Buffalo Bill’s skin suit is getting a lot more publicity than he expected.

  53. Felicity
    +8

    It’s rare that you can actually see a visible manifestation of the phrase “gird your loins” but I think Gwyneth may have succeeded here

  54. Dana
    +9

    All I can think is “flesh colored codpiece”.

    • KirstyBee
      +3

      The side view really looks like a fencing…uniform? With the codpiece adjacent padding.

  55. Lori
    +3

    To quote Rachel Green, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” That’s all I can hear in my head.

  56. isaidnoh
    +7

    I am wondering if she looked in the mirror, saw visible rib cage and hip bones, and went “yes. Yes, I look hot in this.”

    Gwyneth, honey, no. Just because you feel skinny doesn’t mean an outfit is flattering. Also, camel toe is a no-no.

  57. Pat
    +3

    My first thought is what happens when she has to pee? Besides the hassle of getting that thing open, you have to worry about the sleeves ending up in the toilet.

  58. Lizzy
    +8

    I suspect she thinks this showcases her fit body, but it is weirdy frumpy.
    The bottom half is like something your auntie in FL would wear because she thinks she still has a hot bod simply because she’s not fat. No, that stretchy fabric does not make your boo-tay look sex-ay!

  59. Haley Thomas
    +33

    She is literally dressed as her own steamed vagina.

  60. Steph D
    +1

    Nope.

  61. Bonnie
    +8

    I must say that having viewed so many of GOOP’s fashion disasters over the years, I have often wondered is she, despite the wealth, the well-connected family, the blondness etc, essentially a bimbo? She has access to pretty much any clothing she might choose to wear, yet picks this gawd awful Gumby-like monstrosity? If in fact she is not kind of dim, then the only other reason I can find for this atrocity is arrogance – saying see, I can wear the stupidest thing ever, and still look better than the rest of you?

    • S
      +6

      Yes, it’s Gwennie meets Gumby, only in a less flattering color palette. Can we call her Goopy?

    • darcella
      +2

      i vote “dim bulb”.

    • Mrs. Helpful
      +4

      actually, from all accounts I have read, she is very very bright. And while this outfit is just about inexplicable, I suspect it is due more to a kind of wacky over self-confidence.

      •  Ms Poopy von Pants
        +3

        She was surprisingly bright and likable on that show with Mario Batali a few years back. I was jealous watching them eat and drink their way through Spain.

    • lilacsigil
      +9

      I work with a lot of extremely bright people. I can assure you that this means nothing in terms of real world abilities such as “dressing yourself” and “being on time”.

  62. darcella
    +4

    at least she appears to be wearing a bra.

  63. Nanc
    +7

    Ah, the perfect [fashion don't] storm of managing to be both too revealing and extra-frumpy resulting in an garment we could title Beige Anatomy. Blech.

  64. Jenz
    +12

    I can’t believe Penis Outfit has been outdone.

  65. amy
    +10

    I am speechless! Why would you work that hard on your body-macrobiotics and yoga and colonics and all the things-to look like that in a jumpsuit?

  66. Lars
    +2

    I just can’t even. *shakes head*

  67. Finitots
    +12

    She looks like someone’s grandmother’s sofa decided to take a walk and pretend it’s human.

  68. giggleswick
    +6

    I’m sure this is some luxurious cashmere blend, but it screams polyester and demands to have raised seams running down the front of her legs. They’re like bell-bottomed versions of the horrible dental assistant uniform trousers I wore in the 70′s.

  69. Lesley
    +6

    I believe Emilia Wickstead is what she named her vagina.
    *slaps down five dollaz*

  70. Heddi
    +4

    NO. WHY.

  71. Chasmosaur
    +5

    I’m not the hugest fan of GOOP, but she is a beautiful woman.

    A beautiful woman with horrendous taste in clothes.

    Know what I’d love to see on her? Dior New Look. She’s got the facial features, she’s got that teeny-tiny waist, she’s got the height. Wouldn’t she look smashing?

    That, or just revert to all the fabulous wardrobe she had in Talented Mr. Ripley. She looked tremendous in those clothes.

  72. Alexandra
    +1

    I have to disagree. I don’t love the color but overall, she’s rocking the frak out of this.

  73. Nan
    +3

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This outfit should be on screen every time she presents/receives an award or speaks in public. Schadenfreude is delicious.

  74. Chasmosaur
    +2

    Oh wait – per the photo credits, this is at “The Hollywood Reporter and Jimmy Choo’s Power Stylists Dinner.”

    So either she was flat out looking for coverage – better bad press than no press – or she was sending a not-terribly-subliminal message out to all the stylists who attended that this 5’9″ patrician blonde with the perfectly toned yoga body needs help dressing. She probably took home a whole bunch of business cards, and she is hopefully researching a new stylist who will ban these jumpsuits from her closet FOREVER.

  75. One of the Claires
    +9

    She is wearing a labia costume.

  76.  Prinzessin
    +9

    Leave it to Gwyneth to inspire some of the best one-liners on this blog yet. I saw the photo of your nude tube and went directly to the comments page to see how all you fashionistas reacted. Needless to say, you did not let down.

  77.  Mooshki
    +33

    Remember way back to yesterday when Heather said of Zoe Kravitz: “Will this hold as the worst outfit of ALL of 2016?” We were so young then, and so naïve.

  78. Heather
    +2

    This is not good. It actually might look better on a curvier bodytype, as I feel like I am seeing too much of her anatomy. But yet….it looks really comfy. Like, you could just step in and zip it up and be out of the house in no time. It’s like a cozy sausage suit. I’d wear it in black or navy.

  79. Kye
    +11

    She looks like something out of Dr. Seuss.

  80. mel
    +3

    I kind of like it from the front ( I know, I am ashamed), but the side view… HOLY POOTIE TANG!!!

  81. Suzy Q
    +2

    GACK!

  82. SqueakyWheel
    +4

    OH. PUBIS. Alrighty then.

  83. Miriam
    +2

    Speechless. This can never be unseen… No need for the Fug madness, she won in all categories.

  84. Jules
    +3

    That outfit is horrific and her hair looks like refried crap.

  85. Tanya
    +4

    At least now we know what it would look like if Buffalo Bill had ever gotten ahold of the Easter Bunny.

  86. JJ
    +1

    I jumped on the jumpsuit train(pun intended) but even I believe that you don’t want to become “Jumpsuit Lady”. Even though overall I like the look of a flattering jumpsuit (think Jennifer Garner in the Capital Ine commercial) and I actually like this jumpsuit fine, how many flesh colored jumpsuits must one own????? This is two too many!!

  87. Abby
    +2

    For once, I can read a real expression in RHW’s face. It is: “oh my GOD, I cannot wait to tell everyone I know that I saw this thing in person!!!”

  88. Tara
    +2

    Either this is a case of the Emperors New Clothes – her people are telling her she looks great when she clearly does not OR she knows she’s looks insane but doesn’t care because it gets her attention like she used to have when she was a more popular star. Honestly if she was wearing a classic Oscar De La Renta knee length dress we wouldn’t care would we?

  89. Ali
    +2

    This “outfit” hurts my soul. I feel pain and depressed. She is objectively beautiful and rich. She appears to have made a success out of her cookbooks, goop (don’t ask my how), her acting career and her divorce. Despite all of that, this is what she wears and chooses to look? Does she hate herself or her stylist? Does she have no friends? Seriously, if this is the best a gorgeous successful woman can do, what hope do the rest of us have? It’s not funny. It’s sad.

  90. Leslie
    +11

    This gave me flashbacks to my first Brazilian wax…so much flappy pink…shudder.

  91. maggiecate
    0

    Oh dear, she’s clearly bursting for a wee in that second photo and the other lady is wittering on and on and there’s probably a water feature near by trickling away and all she can think is I NEED TO GO. Either that or she’s utterly uninhibited about doing her kegel exercises in public.

  92. Delta Sierra
    +1

    “I’m so hip I can get away with anything!” Um, no.

  93. Kirsten
    +2

    WORDS

  94.  Steph
    +8

    I hope this doesn’t come across as too crass… but I got a yeast infection just looking at this.

  95. BlairSylvester
    +5

    I don’t think i’ve ever seen a female codpiece before.

  96. Psyche
    +2

    Paltrowang does not want you to forget her during FUG Madness season. SHE IS A CONTENDER, DAMNIT.

  97. Pat
    +1

    Um, seriously… GP wore the outfit to a Hollywood Reporter event that was held to celebrate the most powerful stylists to the stars. Her trusty wardrobe advisor, Elizabeth Saltzman, was among the honorees. So either Gwen secretly hates Elizabeth or vice versa.

  98. Kathryn
    +7

    I can imagine a misguided, gin-drinking, bored 1970s woman wearing this to her very first key party. From which she will eventually go home with a dude sporting the moustache Grant Show had in Swingers.

  99. Kathryn
    +2

    Have we assigned demerits to Emilia Wickstead yet? Because I’ll admit it, I don’t care for any of her dresses that Kate wore, and this should be enough to lock her in the Tower. I mean, what kind of vision for fashion inspired this?

  100.  Michelle
    +2

    I’m just so sad, now.

    • Lesley
      +4

      Aw. It’ll be okay.
      Here, wipe your eyes on this bubble-weave chamois cloth.

  101. Jennifer M
    +4

    For more than 10 years I have disagreed with you Fug-girls on your visceral hatred of jump-suits. They are so easy and fun! But this takes the cake. I have to agree this is perfectly horrendous. Just unacceptable…

    •  HKS
      +6

      If this could get you to hate jumpsuits, even just a little bit, then maybe it was worth it? Maybe that’s her plan all along – she’s waging a war on jumpsuits by wearing the absolutely worst ones ever!

      Probably not.

  102. welshforjohn
    +6

    There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said about this monstrosity, so I’ll just say that I hope she wasn’t on one of her juice cleanses and had to use the bathroom when she wore this.

  103.  Third March Sister
    +3

    Emilia Wickstead: Hell’s Designer?

    GOOP: Did Botox migrate into her brain?

    Everything you guys said. GOOP dared you to bring it and you brought it and totally made my day! Fug Nation 4 Eva!

    “Paltrowang” should be in the Fug Glossary!

  104. Lisa D
    +3

    As my Norwegian grandma would say, Uff-da!

  105. Jules
    +1

    Everything that can be said has been said. All I can do is constantly go ha ha ha ha ha. Its a monstrosity.

  106. Empress Carlotta
    +1

    This makes me feel like Fantine in “Les Miserables”.
    Seeing this has truly killed the dream, I dreamed.

  107. Mrs. Helpful
    +1

    You guys are all the best — this was such a funny thread!

    It is like the pre-game exercises for tomorrow. Everyone is in fine form!

    I am looking forward to seeing Rooney Mara in six dresses that are exactly the same.

  108.  NancyDrewsAttic
    +5

    Is this thing terrycloth? Because it looks like a bell-bottomed version of every pair of footed jammies I wore through middle school.

  109. lulu
    +2

    I’m afraid WTF is not enough. Words fail. She is a joke.

  110.  Steph in Oz
    +1

    I’m just going to say what we’ve all been thinking. As Emilia Wickstead is one of the Duchess of Cambridge’s favourite designers, it’s only a matter of time before Kate wears this for one of her public appearances, right?

    • Lesley
      +1

      Oh GOD.

    • Kathleen
      +1

      No way in hell would the Queen allow Kate to leave the castle in this. Wills might have to divorce her, and even Harry would refuse to be seen in public with her.

  111. Visa Diva
    +1

    Oh. My. God.
    Did a stylist actually suggest she wear this to the party celebrating stylists? They should be kicked out of the guild for this travesty? Did they find this on the 90% off rack at Emilia Wickstead?

  112.  BeautyMarks
    +3

    Wow, this is beyond terrible. It’s a Danskin outfit from 1970. But nobody under 12 was supposed to wear them. And nobody’s asked to bring them back, especially not on anyone OVER 12. Or anyone who uses Botox.

  113. Catherine
    +2

    MY EYES! MY. EYES. I need workers’ comp for that level of hideous.

  114.  becky
    +1

    Wherein Gwynnie tries to win FugMadness in one fell swoop on the very day that the brackets are announced. Well played.

  115. Hotpasta
    +4

    How, precisely, does one have polterwang and cameltoe simultaneously???

  116.  CopyChic
    +5

    She just did this to throw everyone off talking about Trump. Good work, Goop.

  117. Cecily
    +4

    Fug Nation is just freaking hilarious.

  118. wangus
    +3

    I’m working on designing the costumes for my daughter’s 8th grade production of The Tempest (which will be set in outer space!). . We both looked at this and shouted “‘Caliban!”. Thanks Ms. Paltrow! Done and done.

  119.  Another Kate
    +1

    These comments are GOLD!

  120. sando
    +1

    WTF

  121. Sue
    0

    Best thread ever. Thanks for the good laughs, Fug Nation!

  122. Kathleen
    +1

    Okay, but if you just stick hitch her head, how much does she look like her mother in that first picture?

    • Ladyblahblah
      0

      Yes, the only good thing I can say about her is that, facially, she looks just like her mother, which is a high compliment.

  123. Helen
    +1

    Bold. Hideous but bold.

  124. kdsig
    0

    hahanahahahaha lol snort……groan….shiver

  125. jeansheridan
    0

    Clockwork Orange. So bad. How did Kate keep a straight face?

  126. annmartina
    +1

    The Telegraph was raving about how great she looked and I’m like . . . ???? The color of Silly Putty, too tight and too long, hair too yellow and stringy. She just needs a big floppy hat to travel into Edina Monsoon territory. In fact, this might look better on Edina because in addition to the floppy hat, she’d put a crazy vest over it and some wacky platforms with it and then it would at least have some visual interest.

  127. Lily
    +1

    I fully believe that she thinks she looks great. Don’t you think she has too much ego to don majorly unflattering pieces?

    Make it black with a chunky statement necklace and it might be passable. Maybe.

  128. Omnibabe
    +2

    Given the fact that she’s never in her life worn one single garment that fit right or flattered, this is no surprise. I have no idea how she continues to be held up as a fashion icon.

  129. Steph
    +1

    That is a penis in clothing form. The bell bottoms are the nuts.

  130. Lerie
    +1

    A shot straight to the Fug Madness win! This is not fair to any of the other hopefuls though.

  131.  Sam
    0

    This is just Gwynnie getting on the current 70s trend with this sad excuse for a disco Danskin jumpsuit that the skinniest minnies wore in that era, because Gwynnie thinks she’s got the bod for it and has to show it off. (It’s a toss-up as to who loves their own body more, her or Kate Hudson). Lol.

  132. fedka
    0

    I…I…I love it.

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