Okay, PLEASE don’t get mad at me about this, but am I crazy if I think that Hailee Steinfeld looks sort of like she could be a Jenner, of the Kardashian-Jenners? (I feel like she looks much more like Kendall and Kylie than Kim or Kourtney or Khloe or Kanvas [Kanvas is one sleeping in the cupboard under the stairs].) This is not an INSULT — whatever else is wrong with them, those girls are very pretty — but merely an OBSERVATION that facially, I could buy if it turned out that Hailee Steinfeld was the baby that Bruce Jenner, in a burst of wisdom and bravery, spirited out of their home and away from Kris in the dead of night, leaving her to be raised with a kind, wholesome family on a farm in Wyoming:
And then of course she has to move back in with them because of REASONS — a volcano erupts in Wyoming, killing everyone but her — and she’s so charming and preppy and sweet (which is exactly how she looks in this dress) and she has to learn to make her way in a family where Kanye spends every Christmas rapping angrily about how he can never tell if the turkey is done and Kim keeps trying to sell her energy drinks. I JUST realized that I basically just described a warped version of Spoiled — although in our actual book, the family the protagonist moves into is secretly much nicer, I think, than Kardashians; there are, at least, far fewer siblings involved, and also no volcano — but the point remains. Also, this dress is cute. Don’t hate me.