We will be putting Cate’s carte blanchett to the test today, y’all, thanks to another one of Louis Vuitton’s hodgepodges.

Once again, her face is magnificent. Cate Blanchett, it must be noted, is GREAT at the dark smoky eye with a lighter lip color, because she and her team always pick something that still makes it clear she HAS lips. It’s never consumptive.

But y’all, this dress is ghastly. Almost comically so. She’s playing that carte blanchett card as hard as she can, but she cannot convince me to like it. I’m simply not a fan of the drunkenly deconstructed looks LV has been putting out lately. This is like someone put a leather jacket in a blender with a halter dress and several things from LK Bennett. I do not care to drink that smoothie.

I want to delete the bra top — I want to delete it with GREAT PREJUDICE; if there were a keyboard button for it, I would dance around for a second and then smack it with a tremendous flourish — and then see if it’s possible to salvage the skirt idea by having it start at her waist. It might be that simple. It might be better used to line the bottom of a birdcage. Trying to fix this might be a fun project, though, so somebody with a better reconstructive eye than mine needs to weigh in here while I go practice with a kohl pencil.

[Photo: Getty]