YOU GUYS.

I cannot wait to see Anne Hathaway skate her free dance to Whitesnake’s Greatest Hits. That IS how to get America to fall back in love with you!

No, wait!  THIS next look is, if by “fall in love with you,” you mean, “cause to mutter ‘what the eff is Anne Hathaway wearing?'” to yourself over lunch. BRACE YOURSELVES:

Anne. Anne. No. No, Anne. NO. This is not even CLOTHING. It’s RIBBON and TULLE. IT’S WRAPPING PAPER. IT’S THE OCTOBERFEST SALE AT PAPER SOURCE, ONLY ON YOUR BODY AND NOT ACROSS FROM THE BED BATH AND BEYOND, WHERE IT BELONGS. NO.

It is only marginally better when she stands still in front of the hot food section at what I presume is a real fancy Souplantation? (Where is this premiere? What is even happening right now?)

It’s like a table runner and a car wash fell in love and had a baby. In the parlance of today’s youth, dear reader, I simply cannot.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]