Fug File: Greek

Dilshad Vadfugsia


Seeing Rebecca from Greek made me miss that show. There are not enough drunken Kappa Tau shenanigans in my life.

It also made me oddly nostalgic for Elizabethan neck ruffs, mustard, the business end of a broomstick, gift sacks, and Diet Coke. The former(s) for obvious reasons; the last because, well, I’m conscious and breathing.

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Grfugk


Amber Stevens here plays Ashley on Greek, the bubbly ZBZ president who dresses like she’s an on-staff cheerleader for Forever 21.

Judging by this photo, she is either a) under the impression she was to attend this event in character, or b) not, in fact, required to do much acting at her day job.

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Fugreek


Dilshad Vadsaria is very sassy on Greek. But I think she was erroneously seduced by the imagery on here into thinking this dress was a good idea.

Maybe she just has a serious jones for Thomas Edison, or she always buys the utilities when she plays Monopoly. I don’t know. In general, though, I feel it’s best to reconsider your options when your clothes are setting you up as the punch line of a “how many XYZs does it take to screw in a lightbulb” joke. Unless it’s a REALLY funny one. But what are the odds of that? 

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Better Played, Spencer Grammer


There’s something awfully refreshing about an actress recycling stuff from her wardrobe, like any regular girl would — clearly, Spencer Grammer loves this blazer, and those are her favorite black pumps because maybe they’re the only ones she has that don’t give her blisters, or maybe she didn’t get a pedicure and everything else in her closet has an open toe, and so she took both items out on the town again two days after wearing them at an ABC Family event:

And on the whole, I think I prefer this outfit to the too-tight, semi-unflattering shorts. Don’t get me wrong: Girlfriend still probably needs a stylist. This is not Singles, and she is not Bridget Fonda, and so it doesn’t matter how many hats she wears — Matt Dillon still is not going to show up and say “gesundheit” to her in an elevator. But if you mentally remove the hat, she goes back to being a cute girl with a dress she probably got at Urban Outfitters, but which isn’t warm enough or doesn’t cover her bra straps entirely and so she needs to cover her shoulders with a blazer. We’ve probably all been that girl in some form or another, except for a) the guys reading this, or b) the people who don’t shop specifically at Urban Outfitters because we don’t all want to spend $68 on some random plaid thing we probably could’ve picked up at The Gap for $29.99. In other words: Spencer seems refreshingly normal for a girl whose dad probably could buy her the entire contents of Saks, but maybe for her birthday he should give her a personal shopper.

So in all, on her report card I’d give her good marks for improving upon her original deployment of these pieces, but I would note that Spencer is a bright girl who still needs to apply herself a bit harder.

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Greefug


SCOTT MICHAEL FOSTER: Hi, Spencer. I see you’re wearing another pair of semi-high-waisted, fairly tight and tiny shorts

SPENCER GRAMMER: Yes. Yes I am.

SMF: And a tank top.

SPENCER: Yup.

SMF: And a blazer, which… I don’t hate on you, actually, but I just can’t figure out why you look like you’re headed off for a day of sailing on the S.S. Some Kind Of Wonderful.

SPENCER: Your point?

SMF: Wouldn’t a skirt have been CUTER? And less… confining-looking? As usual? Do you just have a skirt allergy?

SPENCER: Well. Thank you, Mr. Fashion Plate, but I don’t think I am the problem here at all.

SMF: Oh really?

SPENCER: I know your hair is always sort of… like that. And it works for your character. But is it just me, or are you going WAY more old-school David Cassidy than usual?

SMF: Well, Ms. Smarty Shorts, why don’t we ask him? He’s here.

DAVID CASSIDY: Hi, Scott. It’s true, son. You ARE headed down Young David Cassidy Boulevard.

SMF: Does that have to be a bad thing?

SPENCER: It’s just kind of distract–

DAVID: HELL NO, son! Do you have any idea how many women threw themselves at me back then? I could’ve gotten more ass than a sorority house toilet seat. So you GO. You grow. You cultivate the hell out of that thing and live the dream.

SMF: I am in a MUCH better mood now. I’m so glad we checked with him. 

SPENCER: And I’m kind of wishing I didn’t always wear things that make me look boxy.

SMF: Maybe if YOU had David Cassidy Hair, it wouldn’t matter so much. I think I love it, so what are YOU so afraid of?

SPENCER: GREAT advice. Thanks.

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Fugreek


Oh, Spencer Grammer. I love Greek. I like you. I like you on Greek. I can not wait until the next season starts so we can find out if you ever get the nads to actually destroy that bitch Frannie once and for all! But what I do not like are these shorts:

They are very short. And the they are very ruffled. And sometimes, when Very Short shorts and Very Ruffled shorts love each other very much, they make a baby. And that baby is named These Short Ruffled Shorts Awkwardly Resemble A Skirt That’s Being Eaten By Your Crotch. And girl, you are SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.

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