These two dresses are not the same, nor are they by the same designer — one is Versace; the other, Maria Lucia Hohan –but you will be able to understand why I am making the mental comparison, because whoa.

First, as a refresher, here is what January Jones wore to the Golden Globes in 2011:

We were not that impressed. Her HEAD looked fantastic, and certainly there is nothing wrong with her body, but this was a little bit “Welcome to the new Hooters Tiki Hut” for my taste. Especially at an awards ceremony.

Here, now, is Dita Von Teese from the other day:

They are uncomfortably similar, no? Both women have excellent heads, both have V-shaped strips covering their ample cleav, both have old-fashioned hairdos and ed lips. I might prefer Dita’s for not having a fringe skirt covering a mini (you can JUST make that out in January’s) and not shoving things together like pool balls being racked up for a break; then again, January’s at least is designed to prevent a sideboob explosion, and it’s at least a great color for a dress this va-va-voom. I think it might BOTHER me less on Dita, for reasons I can’t quite articulate, except that the sexy goddess thing is more deeply tied to her whole milleu. But maybe that also makes it part of a rut. I don’t KNOW. Hold my hand.

You are in a knife fight. You have to pick a "She wore it best" here in order to survive. Be honest:

  • January's Versace is better (24%, 1,819 Votes)
  • Dita's Maria Lucia Hohan is better (40%, 3,059 Votes)
  • JUST STAB ME (36%, 2,767 Votes)

Total Voters: 7,645

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[Photos: Getty]