Oh god. I just can not even:

For some reason, the use of green in the words “Specsavers” on the step-and-repeat behind Christina made me think this was some kind of eco-fundraiser — you know, Save the Foliage or Protect The Hedgerow — and I seriously reflected, “OH, of COURSE. She’s wearing something that’s meant to look like fungus ON PURPOSE because ENVIRONMENT.” Then I realized it was more like she was wearing glasses on purpose because: SPECS. That being said, I think this can be saved. Me, I’d make the hem even — I really, sincerely hate this uneven hem on this dress, because it feels like Shenanigans for the Sake of Shenanigans, which rarely actually translates to Hotness — and then I’d rip that collar off, set it on fire, and throw the flaming debris into a Porta-Potty and then shove the Porta-Potty off a cliff.

Your turn.