It’s been a few months since Olivia Munn wore a flowy pantsuit with the shirt open to a flesh-tone bra. (And a year since she wore yet another one to a manicure, as one does.) Clearly, she felt she was overdue. Or she got the itch, or perhaps her boobs came to her in a dream. “You bought a brand new beige bra, Olivia,” the right one cooed. “You have so many. But no one knows. No one knows you are a connoisseur of the drab arts. No one can give you credit for your commitment to bland brassieres if you don’t BURST OPEN and let them SEE.” Left Boob just kind of bobbed along and rolled its nipple occasionally at all this drama, because honestly, it just kind of wants to be warm. But it knows Olivia only ever listens to Right Boob, because Right Boob is the Party Boob, and it always gets what it wants. And so these potentially great pants are rendered ordinary by the fact that it looks like she popped all her buttons off on the way over, and Left Boob is left to do nothing but try to lean slightly out of frame. “She didn’t listen to me about laying off the face-changing injectibles, either,” it is whispering. “Maybe I should just quit.”
