Apparently, Rob Lowe did this to himself — and is about to grow a mustache, to boot — to play a 57-year old man in… wait for it… a LIFETIME MOVIE.

I mean, hell, Lifetime worked gangbusters for Jennifer Love Hewitt, who is now campaigning to add an Emmy nomination to her Globe nod for The Kind Toucher. (And you can bet we will hope this flick is fuggably fromagey.) So, whatever floats your career boat, I guess, Rob. But… really? It looks like Just For Men: Marlboro Ash. His preternaturally boyish character on Parks & Rec, Chris Traeger, would be horrified. Indeed, he would say, “That is LIT’rally the worst grooming decision any man has made in the history of the species.”

Come back, Rob. Come back soon. You are not a J.R. Ewing impersonator.