Met Gala 2014: Fug Nation Picks Which Designer Won And Lost The Night

Just for fun, we decided to nominate a couple of designers to see which one you think “won” the Met Gala, and which one you think punted it away on first down, to use the parlance of the NFL, in honor of the draft tonight. We glanced at which designers showed up and nominated a few based on either volume of gowns in attendance, or the impactfulness, or both. It’s just on a lark; if you think we missed one that should’ve been nominated, please do talk it up in the comments.

Who Won The Met Gala:

Oscar de la Renta: Oscar chiefly took our breath away with the gowns on Karlie Kloss and Ivanka Trump, and although we were mixed on the front of Sarah Jessica Parker’s outfit, the back was adorable (and the signature, which we thought was crazy, was apparently there at her request). He also put an achingly accomplished red gown on Allison Williams, and a shiny and lovely silvery confection on Amy Adams (even if it was a little samey for us on her). A lot of people liked the pink gown he gave to Taylor Swift, even though the fit was slightly off; Claire Danes’ gown was the biggest threat of a clunker, although that might also have been a casualty of fit and styling.

Zac Posen: This is the night his every runway show has been waiting for, and he did not hold back, putting Liu Wen in a showstopping dress that underscores his mastery of construction. Dita Von Teese’s fishtail hem was also amazing work, and he even gave Sarah Silverman — Queen of the Twee – a major, MAJOR moment that is astonishingly mature, and Maggie Q also got a hit of the heavy skirt. Karen Elson’s was, for my money, the least successful of the lot, but Liu Wen’s might erase that and thus improve his average. (Oh, and he also dressed Neil Patrick Harris’s Hedwig co-star Lena Hall, whom we didn’t see until RIGHT NOW. It’s pink. Better than Elson’s. Karen should sue.)

Marchesa: Karolina Kurkova’s teal, hand-painted gown was the most exquisite punch to the gut, and Kylie Minogue also looked pretty. Joy Bryant didn’t not look pretty. The question really is whether the sheer strength of Kurkova’s incredible, enviable, delectable gown is enough and ESPECIALLY whether it can outweigh what Marchesa did to Katie Holmes.

Ralph & Russo: They only put one dress on the red carpet, but it was Arizona Muse’s, and boy, did we fall in love. So, much like getting pregnant I guess, all you need is one to score.

Prabal Gurung: He also only dressed one person, but it was Hailee Steinfeld. And faced with giving a young girl her moment to morph into a young lady, he handled it with extreme class and panache.

Michael Kors: The more I look at Zoe Saldana’s, the less I hate it; I do still feel like she is Miss Muffet trying to inhabit her tuffet, a bit, but the fabric is cool, and the theme was basically “Go Big Or Go Home,” so there’s that. The skirt also counterbalances the sleek bodice. Jessica Pare also wore a beautiful gown in a similar fabric, and Lily Aldridge was dazzling in silver. It’s all getting interesting up in Korsland, basically.

Who Tanked At The Met Gala:

Givenchy: The big buzz of the night was Beyonce, but not only was it a refried take on something Rihanna wore in 2012, but it borrowed an accessory from J.Lawr’s dress from last year, and hewed to a tired old trend of seeing as much of Beyonce as she can show us.  For my money, that’s just lazy. Givenchy also dressed Naomi Watts in this swan-y awfulness, and Adriana Lima had on some brown armor thing that didn’t really do much for her. I can’t really fault anyone for Erykah Badu’s Givenchy, though, because it’s about time Pharrell’s hat met its match.

Prada/Miu Miu: I know these aren’t the same, but it’s from the same spring. First, there was Lupita. Then came Elizabeth Olsen, and the bra-baring wonders Margot Robbie and Stacy Martin, and of course Sarah Paulson, and who could forget Brie Larson? Certainly C-3PO is still dreaming about it. Gabrielle Union looks sort of pissed and horrified at what happened to her, and Adele Exarchopoulos… meh. Dianna Agron’s Miu Miu was the most successful out of any of them.

Chanel: It began with the event chair, Anna Wintour. It escalated with Kristen Stewart, and it really got out of control with Chloe Grace Moretz (or maybe it’s the other way around). I might have liked Lily Allen’s, but that’s about it.

Dolce & Gabbana: Kate Upton looked like a hot Old West mess. And shoe designer Tabitha Simmons came dressed as an antique Rose Parade float that had been improperly stored.

Louis Vuitton: Michelle Williams’ dress is cute. Rosamund Pike’s looks like she’s growing a sex toy out of her navel. NEITHER of them appears as if the label put any effort into this event at all.

Ralph Lauren: His baby-pink blahness wasted Rachel McAdams’ divine head, and the great Chrissy Teigen had to suffer through a suffocating ruff (and the heartbreak of sideboob squeeze). Kind of a comedown from Lupita’s Globes cape, eh?