I can’t believe NBC hasn’t come calling to ask me to take over a commentating gig, given that the entirety of my home/text comments on track and field has consisted solely of such professional insights as, “Wow, FAST” and “WOW they’re in reallygood shape!” and “WOW [Olympian] is SO PRETTY.” But, listen — these folks are in very good shape, and they¬†are very fast and/or strong, and they are all so good-looking! To quote John Leguizamo as Toulouse-Lautrec as the Magical Sitar in Spectacular Spectacular in Moulin Rouge!: I only speak the truth.

Finally, as ever, we welcome Gossip and Insights from you track and field experts in the commentariat! Carl Lewis, if you’re reading this, I know you have some thoughts on the men’s 4×100 relay.

[Photos: Shutterstock, Getty Images]