Confession: I never watched Sharknado 2, so I’m obviously unable to watch this because I simply won’t be able to follow along. [I recapped the first one, FYI.] theHowever, this screening looked like a total late ’90s hoot, given that all manner of random people are in it — and yet, all my favorites from the cast list on IMDb were no-shows. No Steve Sanders, no Tara Reid, no Bo Derek (!!!WHAT!!!), no Malcolm In The Middle, no Mark Cuban (he plays the PRESIDENT, in what must also be a winking nod to his participation in Shark Tank), no Penn Jillette. NADA. Kendra Wilkinson would come to the opening of an eye if it meant a mention in Us Weekly, and even SHE isn’t there. Chris Kirkpatrick ALSO said “Bye Bye Bye.” (ZING.) Thank God plenty of other people had nothing to do tonight or else this Sharknado would be a Sharkdrizzle. (DOUBLE ZING. I’ll show myself out.)

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]