Fug Madness 2018, Round Two Continues: One Boob Belt, One Celebrity Offspring, One Pair of Terrible Underpants, and Jared Leto

A reminder: Polls close after roughly 24 hours. Vote on any device, as often as you want to or can. The bracket is here, the Fug Madness FAQ is here, and if you missed the first round, start here with the Cher Bracket and click forward.

Jump to: Jump to (5) Jared Leto v. (4) Paris Jackson

(1) HALSEY vs. (9) RUTH WILSON

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR HALSEY BECAUSE SHE COULD GO ALL THE WAY. I’m just saying. Can anyone take this down?

It is a belt. Repurposed. As a shirt. That is not how any of those things are supposed to work. Like, this next one is REALLY BAD but at least the bra she’s wearing as a shirt IS on top of the body part it belongs to:

I mean. More or less.

Halsey has, in fact, an intriguing relationship with clothes that are probably meant to be sported UNDER other items, like this surely labially-excrutiating ensemble:

Just thinking about what might be happening under those pants is making me physically uncomfortable. And speaking of crotchally-confusing get-ups, please behold:

Parenthetically, Halsey is EXTREMELY pretty, which I never realized before because I was distracted thusly:

That’s a VERY BAD undercrackers/pants combo, there’s some powerful knowledge for you.

This is just wacky:

She looks like a totally different person with hair, but WE STILL KNOW IT’S YOU, HALSEY:

Who hasn’t worn a corseted sweatshirt as a dress, in fairness?

I feel like fellow Fug Madness contestants Kendall Jenner AND Demi Lovato are going to be jealous of this denim situation:

As Heather said at the time, it’s like she’s wearing a jacket as a necklace.

OVER TO RUTH!

Ruth is very talented and I enjoy her face and she wears SO MANY PAIRS OF VISIBLE UNDERPANTS.

Underpants.

Underpants.

Underpants.

There are plenty of other questionable items in her archives — like, WHAT ARE THESE JEANS?

But I’ve got to be honest with you: The underpants are the worst of it. It’s a trend that is highly regrettable. And there’s SO MUCH OF IT.

Here are Halsey’s amazing archives; here are Ruth’s.

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(4) PARIS JACKSON vs. (5) JARED LETO

Real talk: I predict that this one might be close. Paris Jackson has INTRIGUING tastes (and I think she’s very beautiful), and so does Jared (he is also quite comely).  And, amusingly, at least two of the following looks were deployed at the same event.

For example, Paris wore this hideous undercrackers-y Dior to the VMAs…

While Jared modeled this:

That is a very amazing cape; it is, of course, Gucci and it is ridiculous in many ways. I will say that I actually LOVE Gucci but WOW does Jared take it to the most extreme of the extremes. Like, this is not subtle:

It IS, however, jaunty.

Can a lady be jaunty? I vote yes. And this IS rather jaunty:

If a GIANT FANNY PACK can be jaunty, which perhaps it cannot? Paris has a whole melange of intriguing purse-like objects, too. I’m sure she thinks this one is hilarious:

That whole LOOK is VERY Rich Malibu Stoner and the truth of the matter is that I think Paris Jackson might BE a Rich Malibu Stoner. And I feel like her Rich Malibu Stoner persona might live next door to this guy:

They probably both have hosted this young woman when she comes into town:

And I like to think that woman is dating THIS dude:

They throw VERY dramatic house parties, which are generally ruined by this man, who I think of as being the above dude’s irritating twin brother:

And that guy’s in love with this woman, but the only thing that they have in common is an affection for florals.

Excuse me, I feel like I’ve got to go work on a book where this all unfolds over one crazy weekend. While I’m doing that, here’s Paris’s archive; here is Jared’s.

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