If you can believe it, this is the 10th anniversary of Fug Madness. We began this wacky contest in 2008, taking into account the arsenal of fug from each contestant from 2000 until that moment. Right away we had #16 seed — in the form of relatively anonymous, yet (back them) strangely omnipresent sisters Courtney and Ashley Peldon –upset a #1 (Lindsay Lohan), something that hasn’t ever happened in the actual March Madness tourney; our first winner was Bai Ling, who proved to be the stiff breeze that blew over Victoria Beckham.
Since then, we’ve had a slew of winners who’ve largely disappeared (Aubrey O’Day, kind of Amber Rose, Gossip Girl’s Taylor Momsen). There are also ultrafamous winners, like Bieber and Kim Kardashian and Miley, and a nailbiter of a Dewey Defeats Truman contest in which Vanessa Hudgens upset Lindsay Lohan by such a slim, literal last-second margin that a) the software still rounded it to a 50-50 tie and we had to go by number of votes rather than percentage; and b) we actually cut our tribute video with Lindsay as the victor and had to scramble the next morning to redo it with the rightful champion.
We’re trying to figure out a way to honor the tenth birthday of our little contest, but the Oscars being a bit later this year gave us very little time to exhale before plunging headfirst into this. And so here we are. Regular matchups begin on Thursday, just like the March Madness tourney, but the play-in round will tip off on Tuesday with these two contenders:
MILEY CYRUS vs. NOAH CYRUS
It’s sister vs. sister, with the winner landing in the Cher Bracket at No. 14.
Click the bracket at the top of this post and it’ll open in a new window, rendering it printable. A note: After you hit Print, be sure and switch the setting to Landscape.
And now, here are the rest of the contenders for Fug Madness 2018.
1. Emily Ratajkowski
2. Rihanna
3. Hailee Steinfeld
4. Kourtney Kardashian
5. Serayah
6. Halle Berry
7. Kerry Washington
8. Jennifer Connelly
9. Mel B
10. Salma Hayek
11. Poppy Delevingne
12. Fergie
13. Shay Mitchell
14. Play-In Winner
15. Jessica Biel
16. Haley Bennett
Emily played hard this year and earned her way up into that top spot. Kourtney is the only person named “Kardashian” in this year’s contest. She took advantage of Khloe sitting out most of the year in sweatpants, Kim taking a break from her usual Kimness, and Kylie disappearing altogether, and so congratulations to her for those machinations landing her near the top of the heap.
1. Demi Lovato
2. Rita Ora
3. Katy Perry
4. Andrea Riseborough
5. Jennifer Lopez
6. Nicole Kidman
7. Ciara
8. Mandy Moore
9. Chloe Sevigny
10. Dascha Polanco
11. Jennifer Lawrence
12. Kate Bosworth
13. Celine Dion
14. Anya Taylor-Joy
15. Tracee Ellis Ross
16. Saoirse Ronan
Demi’s pants made her the easiest person to slot. Saoirse snuck in after that rough Oscars outing, because really, what was that?
1. Bella Thorne
2. Bella Hadid
3. Kate Hudson
4. Diane Kruger
5. Zendaya
6. Noomi Rapace
7. Jackie Cruz
8. Olivia Munn
9. Hailey Baldwin
10. Charlize Theron
11. Jennifer Hudson
12. Chris Sullivan
13. Camila Cabello
14. Ariel Winter
15. Maren Morris
16. Monica
It’s the Bracket of the Bellas, and one ‘bello, as Camila joins the Fug Madness ranks for the first time. Welcome in, child. May it be the first of many. For our sakes.
1. Halsey
2. Haim
3. Ashley Graham
4. Paris Jackson
5. Jared Leto
6. Zosia Mamet
7. Kendall Jenner
8. Tyra Banks
9. Ruth Wilson
10. Vanessa Hudgens
11. Greta Gerwig
12. Emma Stone
13. Madelaine Petsch
14. Kate Mara
15. Janelle Monae
16. Kristen Stewart
And, enter Haim. A lot of the seeds at the one, two, and three spots could have been mixed around, honestly. It was a tough day with the sorting hat. And here we have Kendall Jenner, the only other one of Kris’s spawn that made it in; we almost played her in against Kourtney, but honestly, they broke a sweat for their spots this year so let’s just give it to them. They’ve certainly got some hearty and hardy competition and they’re by no means assured to advance.
Get your voting fingers limber, because as I said, this all begins in earnest on Thursday after y’all decide which Cyrus gets to enter the Big Dance: the former champion, or the upstart challenger.
