Fug Madness 2018, Round 2: Jennifer Lawrence Can (Mostly) Blame Dior For Her Place Here

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Jump to (10) DASCHA POLANCO v (2) RITA ORA

(11) JENNIFER LAWRENCE v. (3) KATY PERRY

Please allow me to paraphrase myself from a musing I indulged in on Twitter a few weeks ago, and note that I have a theory about Jennifer Lawrence, namely that I think this contract with Dior has subtly contributed to her slight downturn in general popularity. As we bang on about here at GFY all the time, the things people like about Jennifer Lawrence are not attributes that Dior’s designs are good at visually reinforcing. Her public image is youthful and fun and strong and talented, and Dior often comes across so delicate and fussy that there’s a mismatch of message. (I also think that her team may have reasoned that, along with the sweet Dior money, wearing Dior might visually age Lawrence’s image to be more in line with the roles she tends to take, in literally the only time in Hollywood that a team decides it would be in their best interest if their client read as older than she is). Contrast that with Natalie Portman, whom I think is probably a tough cookie IRL, but who visually presents as more gamine and traditional than J Law does (and who also lives in France); her Dior contract dovetails with that in the way that it doesn’t for Jennifer.

Also, Jennifer keeps agreeing to wear stuff like this:

And this:

I feel like Portman would laugh out loud and then firmly refuse both of those.

We can’t blame it all on Dior, though. I honestly just think that Lawrence’s team doesn’t know what they’re trying to say about her. And I say all of this as someone who likes J. Law well enough, and who thinks she’s very talented. But like, this is wacky:

This is Dior and it’s such a snooze:

In fact, Dior DOES occasionally seem to think that Jennifer Lawrence should dress as if she’s in a period drama:

Like, that’s pretty — minus the Nipples Flowers — but it’s ALSO “have you thought about casting me in Outlander?!?!“.

There is, obviously, more. She actually looked great (I thought) in this Versace look but a lot of you disliked it at the time:

Here, she seemed to be cosplaying as Blake Lively? This is kind of like…“I guess I’m playing a Russian spy so…boots?” And this, of course, was a gorgeous dress that caused a whole kerfuffle because a lot of people (including me) pointed out that it seemed wacky to be wear that gown outside in the middle of the day (a point I stand by; that frock would have been such a hit if she’d worn it to a premiere) and Jennifer didn’t like that, and went on TV and had a whole spiel about “fringe bloggers” who are haters or whatever, and also posted something very defensive on her Facebook, which…don’t EVER read the blogs, celebrities! That way lies madness!

Speaking of madness, Katy Perry’s wardrobe always tells a VERY clear story and it’s basically, “hello, I am wacky.” (Or, at the Oscars, as Heather pointed out, it might have said, “hello, I might be Brigitte Nielsen.“) Like, I actually LOVE this dress and she looks great in it, but she does look costume-y AF. She also wore a Chanel gown with Moon Men on it, and she was the host of the VMAs this year, so that felt…thematic.

I called the post in which we featured this, “Get A Grip, Katy Perry.”

Heather pointed out that this seemed to be the costume of a Robyn impersonator:

This is a full on bag. Just a bag. A BAG:

Her Met Gala look was obvs supes understated and streamlined:

And then I’m just going to leave this here:

Here are J. Law’s archives; here are Katy’s.

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(10) DASCHA POLANCO v (2) RITA ORA

I have to admit, I have NO IDEA who is going to prevail here. I rather think each of these woman would like to raid the other’s closet. And Rita’s is HUGE. There is SO MUCH IN HER ARCHIVES MY GOD. Like, here I think she’s wearing a Muppet. And here,  she is wearing TWO jean jackets at once? This is legit just heinous. AND THEN THERE’S MAUDE:

Honestly, I have an ENDLESS amount of outfits from Rita to share with you. Behold this!

Behold THIS:

BEHOLD THIS!

I feel like Dascha is like, “ooh, tell me more about this outfit!” Because, ICYMI:

I want to have WORDS with whoever talked her into wearing that. AND whoever was responsible for THIS:

This feels better…BUT IS IT?

Narrator: IT IS NOT.

And this is just kinda flacid and wan:

Attributes you want neither in your men, nor your ensembles. If you want to do a deeper dive, here are her archives.

Once you’re ready to choose your choice…

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