Melanie, you absolutely astonishing human, NEVER CHANGE. Nothing could bring me more joy than seeing this exceptionally bold look and imagining the reactions of your Spicy Compadres across the globe. To wit:
SPORTY SPICE: It’s like a very glamorous speed-skating costume. Wait. Is that stepping on my Spice Persona? Does that even matter now? Yes, people are murmuring about a reunion and I need to protect my brand. I’ll just send Melanie a little text and ask her to at least please avoid track suits.
BABY SPICE: Didn’t I just see Dorit from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wearing this in an interview? Oh no, didn’t I see Rihanna wear this to Coachella last year? WHY would you set yourself up for a Who Wore It Better faceoff with Rihanna? Melanie must be going through something mentally trying. I shall send her an Edible Arrangement!
GINGER: I cannot believe I never wore this myself, frankly. Oooh, maybe for the wedding!
POSH: Why won’t she let me give her a makeover? David! David! Come look at this. David, look.
BECKS: I like it!