Lea Michele has been all over the place lately, trying too hard to be sultry and tween-y and edgy, as if she can’t figure out which direction to go in to make people buy her album, and is therefore coming across as inconsistent and mixed-up and crazy.

This is no exception. The hair and makeup are actually fine, at long last, and the detailing on her dress is certainly intricate, but something about the entire design is EXTREMELY matronly on her. Which is quite an achievement on a gown that also wants that nude look, but seriously — and by design, I’m sure — its illusion netting is rolling like Play-Doh up there around her neck and at her elbows. So it doesn’t REALLY expect you to believe it’s that slinky and tricky. It knows you’re not fooled, and actually, it almost seems kind of over itself. Why else would it quit at the elbows? That destroys the illusion almost as thoroughly as the piping itself. Throw in the stumpifying effect, and you’ve got a cocktail that MAY have needed a bit more shaking before the bartemder poured it into the glass. Play mixologist in the comments. Be the Tom Cruise. Make cocktails and dreams, and if you want, give us a poem.

[Photo: Getty]

Tags: Lea Michele